The Enemy Within
by MadeleineBeverley
Summary: After an attack on the Hogwarts Express leaves Harry with a severe head injury, he struggles to make sense of the strange things that are happening to him. With help from Remus and Snape, he must figure out what's wrong and prepare for the final battle.
1. The Hogwarts Express

**Hello all! One year after I started writing this, I have finally finished! I'm still not one hundred percent happy with it, but nevermind. It's done! I've been over and over and over every chapter but I'm pretty sure there's still mistakes in there somewhere. I'd appreciate it if you can point them out to me so I can fix them! I'm excited to finally post this. Yey!  
>This fic is revolves mainly around Harry and Remus. There's no real romance theme but there are RemusTonks and Harry/Ginny moments throughout the story.  
>There are also no scenes referring to Remus being a werewolf. It is mentioned briefly, but this story is about different struggles and fights and I just decided to leave it out. Hopefully that won't annoy anyone!<br>****Whoops, **I completely forgot to say! This story is set just after the events in the Ministry of Magic in 5th year**.  
>Right, I've rambled for long enough. Enjoy! <strong>

**Chapter one**

_The Hogwarts express. _

Harry hauled his trunk through the hoards of people waiting on the platform. With increasing irritableness, he swerved through the tiny first years who were saying tearful goodbyes to Hagrid. Several of them were sopping wet; thanks to the approaching storm, the journey over on the boats had apparently been very eventful. The rain was growing heavier by the second, soaking through his robes and making his shoes slip on the wet platform; _and this is supposed to be the summer holidays_, Harry thought bitterly. He squinted through the mist, using his sleeve to wipe his glasses clear; if only he could remember that spell Hermione had taught him…

He scanned the platform again, looking for any sign of his two closest friends. Harry had told Ron and Hermione to meet him on the train as, apparently, Dumbledore was still trying to redeem himself for what happened at the Ministry and had hauled Harry into his office once again early that morning.

Harry had fidgeted nervously in his chair, a frown gracing his face as he glanced around the room. Just a few days ago, he had raged and stormed inside this room, destroying many of the headmasters' possessions in the process. Harry should have felt guilty, but instead he felt as though he should have done more, broken more, destroyed as Dumbledore had destroyed him. He'd wanted to tear up Dumbledore's neatly written note when it had arrived in Gryffindor Tower, wanted to throw it into the fire and watch it burn.

But he didn't.

He was far too rational for that. Acting out didn't get you anywhere, that was the one thing he had learnt from the Durlseys.

The portraits of the former Headmasters of Hogwarts were all sleeping; giving the hour he'd been dragged in here. They made soft snoring noises as they twisted and turned in their frames. Harry wondered what it would feel like to be trapped within a frame, watching as a ghost in the shadows, unable to act or intervene. Things would be a lot simpler if he were up on that wall, watching someone else go through this...

He sighed heavily. He wouldn't wish this upon anybody. To have this heavy fate upon their shoulders, to watch those they loved fall time and time again. But for once how he wished to observe, just for one moment, rather than _feel._

The door opened behind him and Harry jumped, startled out of his thoughts. He didn't turn. He kept his gaze fixed on the sleeping portrait of Dippet, watching the rise and fall of his chest. He closed his eyes briefly and let the numbness he'd come to rely upon recently cocoon him. He heard a figure approach and he turned his head, avoiding the piercing gaze of Albus Dumbledore as he took the chair opposite.

'Good morning, Harry,' Dumbledore said calmly. Harry felt his body stiffen. He wanted to beat that tone out of him; he did not need his pity. He knew what happened was his fault...he did not need reminding of that.

'How are you?' Dumbledore pressed.

'Fine, thank you sir,' Harry replied coolly. He immediately regretted it, knowing he was being childish, but this was the only way he knew to get back at Dumbledore. He couldn't fight him physically; he couldn't even shout and scream as Dumbledore had stayed so infuriatingly passive whilst Harry was destroying his office.

'Harry, please look at me.' Dumbledore's voice was soft, though it was not a request. Harry dragged his eyes round to meet him and was momentarily startled at the sadness reflecting in the headmasters eyes. Apparently he was suffering from this too. Harry berated himself, ashamed at how selfish he was being. He wasn't the only one affected by what had happened at the Ministry...of course he wasn't...

_But nobody else had the weight of the prophecy upon them, pinning them down until they could barely breathe. _

'I know you still blame yourself for what happened,' Dumbledore said, peering over his glasses and resting his elbows upon the table. 'But you must know, Sirius' death was not your fault.'

Harry looked away again. 'I know,' he muttered. He'd heard this a lot recently.

'I do not think you do,' Dumbledore said; Harry thought he sounded a little impatient.

'I should have paid your more attention this year, I should have told you more and for that I am sorry.'

Harry nodded his way through the speech. He'd heard that all before as well.

'I am also sorry to send you back to your relatives so soon after what has happened. I know you would like more time with your friends but I must ask you, Harry, not to do anything reckless this summer. Voldemort will stop at nothing to get to you, and we must not make it easy for him. I must therefore also ask you not to leave the house for the duration of your stay at your Aunt's home.'

Harry raised his eyebrows ever so slightly at this, but said nothing. He would not be locked up in the Dursleys this summer, not again...not like Sirius. He needed his escape.

Harry was forced back to the present as he passed a group of glowering Slytherins. He kept his eyes forward, concentrating on finding an empty carriage for him, Ron and Hermione. With a deep breath, he let the numbness swallow him again and he pressed onwards, dragging his trunk behind him. It was only when he'd managed to locate what seemed to be the last vacated carriage on the train, that he realised he could have levitated his trunk the entire way. Feeling more useless by the second, Harry collapsed into the seat, leant his head back against the headrest and let his eyes droop shut.

'It's not just a co-incidence Ronald. The Order are obviously here for a reason.'

Harry cracked an eye open as a very windswept Hermione and a somewhat abashed looking Ron entered the carriage.

'I didn't say it was a coincidence,' Ron said, struggling with his trunk. 'I just think it's weird seeing Professor Lupin on board.'

Harry straightened up.

'Professor Lupin is on the train?'

Ron nodded, plonking himself next to Hermione.

'Him, most of the Order and loads of other wizards I've never seen before. They're patrolling the carriages.'

Harry felt is chest tightening.

'Are they Aurors?'

'I would assume so,' Hermione answered. 'Apparently, the attack at the Ministry has got all the parents up in arms. I heard Lavender saying that her parents had specifically asked Dumbledore for more protection.'

'Well, you know who has got a lot more followers than the Order. We found that out last month,' Ron said heavily. 'We'll need all the extra protection we can get.'

Harry rubbed his tired eyes and shifted closer to the corner by the window. Ron glanced at Hermione awkwardly; she shook her head, silencing him with a glare.

The train lurched forward and with a loud whistle and puff of smoke it began rolling. They gradually picked up speed and, as Hogwarts disappeared into the background and for the first time, Harry felt glad to see the back of it. No more people whispering about him. He'd had to endure it before of course, but it had grown in excessive amounts since the battle at the Ministry and he was beginning to loose patience with it.

'How are you feeling, Harry?' Hermione asked after a few minutes of silence. When Harry looked at her questioningly she added, 'You don't appear to have slept well.'

Harry returned his gaze out the window, staring at the forest rushing past.

'I'm fine,' he said.

'What did Dumbledore want to talk about?' Hermione tried again.

'Nothing new...He told me not to do anything reckless.'

'I don't think the Dursleys would let you do anything reckless, would they mate?' Ron said lightly.

Harry smiled at this, recalling the time he'd set a python on his cousin at the zoo. He'd earned a week in his cupboard for that. Lucky for him he hadn't stayed around for the consequences of blowing up his aunt Marge.

'He's right though,' Hermione said gently. 'If you have an argument with them, you can't go running off, not with you know who – '

'Voldemort, Hermione. His name is _Voldemort_. And I get it, I do. It's my fault everybody is in this much trouble, my fault because I'm the one who brought him back in the first place.'

Hermione gaped slightly, and then furrowed her brow. 'Is that what's been bothering you?' she asked. 'You think this is your fault? Oh Harry, you are so incredibly dim sometimes I wonder how on earth you got into this school. Of course this isn't your fault. How could it possibly be?'

'She's right mate,' Ron said. 'How were you to know what was going to happen at the end of the tri wizard tournament? Nobody saw that coming, not even Dumbledore.'

Harry scrunched his hands up into tight balls, returning his gaze to the eerie forest beyond the window. 'But I could have done something. I could have killed Wormtail; I could have saved Sirius. I could have prevented all of this from happening. But I did nothing.'

'Harry, V-_Voldemort_ was putting things in your mind. He tricked you. You did the only thing you could on the information we had. What happened to Sirius, it wasn't your fault.'

Ron nodded. 'She's right. There's nothing to feel guilty about.'

Unsatisfied, Harry allowed the conversation to lapse into silence, listening to the heavy rain pelt the side of the train. He cupped his hands together and peered out the window; the rain was so heavy he couldn't see the wooded Greenland below, just the misty and ominous blackness that was now surrounding them. He'd never really taken the time to look at the scenery before, but now he was unable to see it, Harry found himself missing the bright green foliage, the beautiful blue sky and the sun that usually beamed down through the carriage windows.

His breath fogged the glass and Harry, momentarily distracted by writing his name in it, only just caught a glimpse of a shadowed figure suddenly bursting into existence outside the window. He jumped backwards, startled; heard Hermione scream and Ron had shucked himself up against the far wall of the carriage.

'What the hell was that?' Ron whispered, removing his hand from over his chest and settling forward on his seat again. 'Dementors?'

Hermione shook her head. 'It couldn't have been. That thing had a face… I mean it looked human.'

Harry turned to face her, his brow knitted together in a hard line. He'd seen those masks before…

'Oh god.'

'Harry? What is it?' Hermione asked, her voice shaky.

'Death Eaters,' he muttered. 'They're going to attack the train.'


	2. Flight for Freedom

**I thought I'd put this up now as I'm going to be crazy busy for the next few days!  
>Thanks to those who reviewed last chaper, hope you enjoy! <strong>

**Chapter two**

_Flight for freedom_

Harry stumbled down the corridor. His legs wobbling under his weight, not wanting to support him properly. His brain fogged with numbness again but he shook it off. He needed to be alert if Death Eaters were going to attack the train.

But, for the first time, Harry couldn't ignore the awful dread that was rising in his chest. In situations in the past, the fear had given way to an overwhelming determination, a need to succeed for his friends and for Sirius. But right now, the panic was lodged in his stomach and had no intention of dissolving. And as to add to his fears, the lights that had been burning brightly throughout the carriages suddenly exploded into darkness. Screams echoed around the train, several compartment doors slid open and Harry collided with something large and solid.

'Harry!' Remus Lupin said, startled. It was only when he saw the despaired look on his ex students face that he asked, 'What is it? What's happened?'

'Death eaters,' Harry stated, his voice wavering slightly.

'Where?'

'Outside. Ron and Hermione saw them as well.'

Remus gave a sharp nod and then grasped Harry firmly by the wrist.

'You have to stay out the way, Harry, do you understand me?'

Harry gave a weak nod – he had no intention of doing that.

'I mean it,' Remus growled, his brow pulled taught. 'The Order and the Aurors will handle it; it's why we are here.'

He kept his grip on Harry's arm and sent a Patronus leaping down the train, alerting the other Order members. A deep booming voice suddenly echoed down the carriages, ordering the students to stay within their compartments. None of them seemed to adhere to this warning, many stayed outside mumbling and theorizing about what was going on. It was only after a sharp warning from Lupin that those surrounding Harry finally dispersed. Lupin glanced around and then quickly shoved Harry into a nearby compartment. He bounced off something light and fell backwards into a seat.

'Harry?'

'Harry!'

'Ginny?'

'Where are Ron and Hermione?'

'Neville, is that you?'

'Harry, I mean it,' he heard Lupin's voice through the darkness. A light erupted at the end of his wand and he shone it threateningly in Harry's face. '_Stay here._' Then to Neville and Ginny, 'Make sure he does not leave this carriage.' He then extinguished the light and stepped back out into the darkness.

'Harry?' Ginny's voice came from the corner. 'What in the world is going on?'

'Death Eaters,' Harry said, annoyed at how unsteady his voice sounded. 'They're coming on board the train. I think – I think they're after me.'

He felt Neville stiffen beside him. 'We won't let that happen. The Aurors won't, they'll make sure you're okay.'

'I hope you're right, Neville.'

Fumbling for his wand, Harry turned to face the window. He ignited the end of it with a quiet 'Lumos' and shone it towards Ginny. She smiled gently at him, but Harry wasn't even looking at her. His gaze was elsewhere, somewhere far more terrifying.

'Harry…'

'I know, Neville.'

Their eyes were fixed on those of Wormtails who was seemingly gliding alongside the carriage window. They were filled unconvincingly with malice; Harry could easily see his own fear and anxiety mirrored in the rats shiny orbs. Wormtail waved at him with his claw like fingers and then suddenly dispersed into a cloud of black smoke.

'Get back!' Harry cried suddenly, reaching for Ginny and tugging her towards the door.

The next second, something slammed into the side of their carriage and the entire train rocked sickeningly against the tracks. Harry, Ginny and Neville were thrown painfully into the carriage door as train begun to tip perilously onto its side. A second Death Eater had joined Wormtail, a mask was obscuring his face but the long blonde hair was unmistakable.

_Malfoy? Openly attacking the train? _Harry thought numbly as he tried to right himself._ Voldemort is obviously very sure he's going to win._

The Death Eaters reared up again and, with window shattering force, they slammed once more into the already tipping carriage.

'Brace yourself!' Harry called, clutching Ginny to him tightly.

With an almighty bang and an explosion of dust and debris, the carriage rolled, throwing the occupants back onto the glass window behind them. It cracked with the impact, splintering and slicing skin through their robes. The weight of their fallen carriage tugged others onto their side, and with a jerk and an ear piercing screech of brakes the train skidded to a halt; the wheels dragging and spinning against the rails.

The glass door of their compartment shattered and the three of them fell through into the corridor outside and onto the exterior window. Harry's head collided with something hard and white lights burst in front of his eyes. Blinking rapidly to defuse them, he struggled to his feet, utterly disorientated. The ringing in his ears was deafening, but it was soon overwhelmed by the sounds of panic and screaming all around him. He couldn't focus on anything, his eyes felt like they were rolling around in his head.

'Harry! Are you alright?' Neville's panicked voice came from beside him. Harry nodded weakly; he could feel blood, thick and wet and oozing down the back of his neck. Neville looked pretty worse for wear himself; a large cut spread from his eyebrow down to the bridge of his nose and was trickling with blood. Neville wiped a clumsy hand across his face and then looked around, trying to collect his bearings. The state of their carriage was horrendous; it was as though a bomb had exploded; there was glass and splintered wood everywhere. The students were in a complete state of panic and Harry could already see that some of them were badly injured or unconscious. His stomach sunk to his knees as he surveyed the damage. He couldn't bare to think what was going on beyond the walls...

With his wand still grasped firmly in his hand, Harry tried to navigate his way towards the carriage door. He tripped over something and a hand reached out to steady him.

'Harry, where are you going? We can't get out!' Ginny called from beside him. Harry sighed in relief; he hadn't even realised she was there. But she was, and she was safe, though covered head to toe in thick black dust.

'We can try,' Harry muttered, shaking her off. He pointed his wand towards the end of the carriage and said firmly, 'Reducto!' The wall rocked slightly and a single crack slithered up towards the ceiling. He turned to Ginny and Neville and a couple of sixth year students who had joined them.

'Help me!' he said, pointing his wand in the same direction again.

This time, they all chorused the spell together, and with a dusty explosion the wall blew outwards into the next carriage. Harry staggered forwards again, coughing and breathing heavily. As the dust settled, he saw the haggard face of Remus staring back at him; bloody and scratched, but very much alive. His features visibly sagged in relief and he marched forward, taking Harry by the arm.

'Are you alright?' he asked abruptly. Harry nodded, but his knees betrayed him and began to buckle. Remus quickly wrapped a strong arm around Harry's chest, holding him up easily.

'He hit his head pretty badly,' Ginny said quietly, eyeing the blood still oozing down Harry's neck and collar. Remus turned to Ginny and Neville. 'Neville is your head alright?' he asked.

'I'm fine, just a scratch.' Neville said, and then turned quickly as he heard somebody cry out from the wreckage. 'I'm going to see if I can help,' he said.

'Okay,' Remus said with a nod as he pulled Harry's arm across his shoulder; he slung the other around his waist, trying to keep him steady. 'Ginny, stick with me, we'll get you to an Order member and they'll apparate you back to Headquarters.'

'Yes, sir,' she said quickly, keeping her gaze on Harry's wobbling figure.

Stumbling through the wreckage, Remus and Ginny finally managed to lead an unsteady Harry outside into a patch of green just beside the train tracks where most of the students had gathered. Some lay sprawled unconscious, some were hugging each other and others had their wands drawn, keeping a close eye out for trouble. The Aurors were racing around wildly, trying to tend to wounds and conduct some order into the situation. It was clear that nobody really knew _what _was going on.

Remus set Harry down gently on the grass and then looked around, visibly struggling for a few moments.

'Wotcher Harry, Remus.'

Harry looked up into the young, concerned face of Nymphadora Tonks; he hadn't even realised she was onboard the train. Stood next to her was the towering figure of Kingsley Shaklebolt and in the distance he could make out Mad-eye Moody conversing with a group of Aurors. He felt Tonks kneel down beside him and take his head gently in her hands. She was covered in the thick dust that seemed to be coating most of the students and there was an ugly purple bruise forming over her cheek.

'Are you alright, Tonks?' Remus asked, eyeing her carefully. She dismissed him with a wave of her hand. 'Oh, I'm fine, just a nasty bruise.' She leaned in closer. 'Harry, on the other hand, has walloped himself pretty good,' she said, peering into his eyes. She gestured to the cut on the back of his head and turned to Remus. 'He's really concussed, there's no way we can apparate with him, and I'm not even going to attempt healing that without Poppy. I'll end up making it worse.'

Remus went to agree but a cry from the crowd of students whipped his head around, his eyes wide and concerned.

'Go,' Tonks told him. 'I'll stay with Harry.' At Remus' hesitation, she gave him a shove. 'He'll be fine, go and help out.'

With a quick nod, and a worried glance at Harry, Remus headed into the crowd, wand aloft and immediately rushed to help whoever had called.

'Where are the Death Eaters?' Harry managed to mumble. It was a lot harder than it should have been to get that sentence out. Inside his head, it had sounded perfectly coherent, but it came out more of a jumble of vowels. Somehow, Tonks understood him.

'There's no sign of them,' she replied, getting to her feet. 'They wrecked the train pretty good though. Then they buggered off.'

'They'll be back,' he tried to say. 'I saw Malfoy. I think they're waiting for something.'

Tonks looked curious. 'Waiting for what?'

Before he could answer, a series of loud apparating cracks filled the air. Several of the students screamed, Harry automatically reached for his wand and tried to get to his feet, but his spinning head sent him slumping back down to the ground again.

His chest tightened instantly as he recognised the sneering face of his most detested potions master. The look on his face was enough to send anyone into a state of panic. He marched over towards Harry, his eyes hard and then hauled him to his feet.

'Whoa! Easy,' Tonks said.

'He's got concussion!' Ginny snapped angrily, watching as Harry began to sway in Snape's grip.

Harry didn't have time to say anything in return. The pain in the back of his head suddenly exploded and then snaked around to the front, towards his scar. It erupted in a blinding flash and he fell backwards into a startled Snape, crying out in pain. He grasped his professor's arm and, with a few gasps of air, Harry managed to breath out, 'It's him. He's here!'


	3. A terror too true

**Chapter Three**

_A terror too true_

'We need to get him out of here, right now,' Snape growled, tightening his grip on Harry's arm.

Suddenly, Harry found he wasn't able process what was happening around him any longer. The world had now become a sea of colours and sounds; his head was swimming even more viciously than before.

'You knew they were coming?' Ginny asked in a terrified voice.

Snape resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 'Of course I knew they were coming,' he said sharply, ' and standing here blathering is only wasting time. Nymphadora, you are to escort Mr Weasley, his sister and Miss Granger back to headquarters. Potter, here, is my responsibility.'

Tonks eyed him warily. 'On whose orders?'

Snape raised an eyebrow. 'Dumbledore's,' he said coolly.

The sounds of screams suddenly begun to echo around the vast field they were in. Students and Aurors alike had armed themselves with their wands and were pointing frantically in every direction. Tonks whipped out her wand, Kingsley followed suit and both of them sprinted towards Mad-Eye who had already begun sorting people into fighting groups. Snape's heart froze in his chest, his grip tightened again on Harry's arm.

Severus Snape was not a coward. Far from it in fact.

He had placed himself in incredible danger since before he could remember, so surely he should be prepared for a situation like this? He'd faced much worse in his time.

But the truth was, as he found himself staring back at Harry, who was doubled over in agony, the only feeling he could recognise was panic. He was mere seconds away from having his identity revealed; Voldemort would realise he was a spy and not only would he kill Potter, he'd wipe him out as well. As much as Snape hated to admit it, Dumbledore was right. The fate of the wizarding world was resting on the young boys shoulders. He had a duty to carry out and he certainly wasn't going to be able to do it alone. This was the moment Severus Snape had been dreading. The moment when he was actually going to have to abide by Dumbledore's rules and to the oath he had pledged to Lily all those years ago. He was going to have to protect her son. By any means.

'Professor!'

The strangled cry of the Weasley girl snapped him out of his reverie. Snape grabbed hold of Harry's bicep and turned on the spot only to fall heavily to his knees, dragging Harry with him.

'Anti-apparition wards!' the girl cried, confirming Snape's fears.

Before anyone knew what was happening, curses and spells had suddenly filled the air. Green and red sparks shot across the opening, people were throwing themselves to the ground, screaming and ducking for cover. The organised groups had suddenly dissolved into mayhem. Aurors were shouting for the younger children to run for cover, the older students had already pulled their wands and were in the fray, fighting for their lives. The only people who seemed to be rooted to the spot were a very pale Professor Snape, a disorientated Harry and a wide eyed Ginny.

'Miss Weasley, get to cover!' Snape ordered, giving her a hard shove. She faltered for a few moments looking back at Harry, but Snape roared, '_Now!_' with such force that she sprinted forward towards the train, looking for somewhere to hide.

With considerable effort, Harry had managed to straighten up and was looking straight ahead of him; Snape could feel the fear radiating off him.

_Death Eaters. _  
>More than Snape had ever seen together, even at Voldemort's meetings. He whipped his head around; they had the field surrounded!<p>

It was only when Snape heard a call over the fighting did he finally snap into action.

'Take Harry and run!'

He turned towards the voice; Lupin was rushing towards them, a twisted piece of metal in his hands. He launched it towards Snape who caught it swiftly in his free hand. It immediately burned blue and Snape felt that awfully familiar tugging behind his navel.

A jet of red detonated in the air. Harry watched in the distance as the impact knocked Neville and a rather disheveled looking Luna Lovegood to the ground. He watched as Ron and Hermione and Ginny all disappeared in a cloud of smoke. People were falling all around him, and Snape was making him run away? Harry called out agonizingly, Lupin reached out and grabbed Harry's hand just in time and the world was turned inside out.

Harry fell to the ground with a painful crack. He cried out again, but the pain in his scar had finally ebbed away, leaving a dull ache around the back of his head. Snape had grabbed him and was pulling him roughly to his feet.

'Let go of me!' Harry snapped, wrenching his arm free and staggering up himself. 'We have to go back!'

Snape rounded on the boy with a fierce look in his eyes. Harry stumbled backwards a few steps, intimidated by the anger radiating from the Potions Master.

'Do not be so idiotic, Potter. You would have been wiped out in a second.'

'And it's alright to wipe out Ron and Hermione instead?' Harry cried, his words slurring and his vision wavering. He shook his head, trying to focus his eyes on Snape's sneering face.

Snape paused for a few moments, before saying in a clipped tone,

'They are more expendable, now come on.'

'Severus!' Lupin admonished from beside them. 'They're fine, Harry. Tonks has taken them back to headquarters. I sorted them a Port Key before I came to you. '

'Is that where we're going?' Harry mumbled as the pain in the back of his head decided to return in full measure. His head rocked and he felt his knees buckling underneath him. Lupin reached out and caught him under the arms, lowering him gently to the ground. Snape blew out an agitated breath.

'Brilliant time to be concuss Potter,' he sneered. 'Lupin, where has this Port Key brought us exactly?'

'To a forest just outside Hogsmede. If we head east we should reach the train station.'

Snape gave a curt nod, and turned his back. Harry was silently grateful the man was giving him time to pull himself together. But, after being hit with a sudden wave of nausea and turning to vomit into a nearby bush, even Harry knew he wouldn't be moving any time soon. The searing throbbing in his head would make sure of that. He could still feel the blood dripping down the back of his neck; the feeling was making his stomach stir. It throbbed clearly in beat with his heart and he let his head roll forward towards the ground. A pair of firm hands cupped his shoulders tightly.

'Harry?' Lupin was gazing at him, concern in his eyes.

The ringing in his ears was awfully distracting.

'My head,' he managed to mutter.

Lupin looked towards Snape. 'We can't move him in this state,' he said anxiously. 'Tonks would have made it back to the castle by now. Why don't you go ahead and let everyone know where we are. We should be safe here.'

Gently, Remus pushed Harry's shoulder back until he was leant against the trunk of a tree.

'Harry, can you look at me?'

''m tired.'

Snape raised his eyebrows.

'He needs Poppy,' he said, pointing his wand towards the castle. A brilliant silver Doe leapt out the end, Snape muttered a few words and the Patronus headed off swiftly through the trees. A few awkward moments passed; Lupin watched as Snape wiped a sleeve across his forehead. His hand appeared to be shaking.

'I've informed the castle we are safe and of our whereabouts,' Snape said suddenly. 'Someone should be here soon.'

Lupin raised an eyebrow, his eyes still following Snape's trembling hand. 'I would have thought this is your worst nightmare,' he said. 'Being stuck in the middle of nowhere with just Harry and me for company.'

Snape quirked his lip slightly. 'Potter hardly counts as company, the state he's in.'

Lupin swallowed the awkward lump that had formed in his throat before voicing his next question.

'Why did Voldemort order the Death Eaters to attack the train, Severus?' He shifted slightly, stealing a quick glance at Harry who was still awake, though he appeared to be watching something intently in the distance. Lupin looked back to Snape, his face drawn. 'How did he think he was going to get away with that?'

Snape eyes were glittering; though not with some kind of suppressed triumph like any other Death Eater. His shoulders sagged slightly in the cold and he gave a silent, heavy sigh. The moonlight gave his skin a waxy quality; Remus couldn't help but notice something wasn't quite right.

'It is not a matter of caring anymore,' Snape said quietly, his hand wrapped around the dark mark branded onto his skin. 'The Dark Lord is using fear to manipulate people. The attack on the train will simply mean that Dumbledore is loosing his control.'

Lupin had known this all along of course, but actually hearing the words from somebody on the inside was even more frightening. He glanced towards Harry, who now had his eyes clenched shut, a firm crease in his brow.

'Harry, open your eyes,' Remus said, giving his face a gentle tap. 'You can't go to sleep.'

'Remus, my chest feels weird,' Harry mumbled. Lupin's eyes widened; Snape glanced through the forest, his apprehension increasing.

'Lie down,' Remus said gently. Harry didn't need to be told twice. He leant over onto his side, Lupin's hands helped him down, and he rested his head on a pile of leaves beneath him. This action seemed to aggravate something in his head as the next moment, a blinding pain shot through his heart, clamping it in a mechanical like vice. The world around him began to spin and swirl in a mirage of colours and sounds. He felt his limbs begin to flail, as though they were desperately trying to claw back a rhythm; hoping his heart would follow suit. He was dimly aware of hands steadying him and a voice murmuring to him until, with one last agonizing swirl, the world around him disappeared into darkness.

* * *

><p><strong>There we go then! Chapter three.<strong>  
><strong>So Harry's head injury was a bit more severe than we thought. Poor guy. I do like to beat him up!<strong>  
><strong>Thanks to all those who reviewed last chapter, and all the story alerts! Gives me fuzzies in my tummy!<strong>  
><strong>Hope you enjoyed<strong>


	4. A light in Hell

**Chapter four**

_A light in hell_

...

...

'...he just needs more time...'

...

'...summer homework! Can you believe it?'

'Oh Ron, for goodness sake.'

...

'...worried, dear. I'll have to make sure I cook you up something lovely.'

...

'... Harry? Harry? Did you see that? Professor Lupin I swear I saw him move!'

'Harry, can you hear me? It's Remus...'

...

'Much better... colour's returning now. He should be ...'

...

'...I think he wants to make more of an effort now that Sirius...'

'Shush, Ron!'

'What? It's true. Professor Lupin hasn't left in days.'

'He's just worried, we all are.'

'He doesn't even talk – he just sits...'

...

'...aware. It won't be long now.'

It was blindingly light, but at least it was warm. Wherever Harry was, he felt weightless, cocooned, comfortable.

Voices were murmuring around him; he just let them float over his head, not wanting to understand what they were saying. It was blissful being so unaware. There was nothing here that would hurt him. He felt safe.

Harry felt himself rising, gradually drifting towards the surface of the bubble he was in. The voices became more pronounced and for the first time he became aware of his body. It was an odd feeling. He wanted to test it. What could he do?

He tried stretching his fingers around whatever was cocooning him. Sheets? Blankets? They were soft, much softer than what he was used to at the Dursleys.

A gentle hand held his against the blankets. Someone was there. A recognisable voice was helping to pull him out of disorientation.

'Poppy? I think he's coming around.'

Why was that voice so familiar? He wanted to see who it was. His eyelids begin to flutter. _Too bright. _

It was white everywhere. He blinked a few times before closing his eyes again.

'Harry? Can you open your eyes for me?'

The light dimmed against his eyelids and he tried again. Wearily, he pried them open, now blinking into darkness. Even through watery vision he knew where he was. What had he done this time? He hoped he didn't have to regrow the bones in his arm again.

But somehow this felt different. _Worse. _

'Can you hear me?' the voice said. Harry nodded, rolling his head around to get a look at the owner.

_Remus. _

His former professor smiled down at him and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

'Just hold tight, Madam Promfrey's coming.'

Harry furrowed his brow in confusion. What on earth was he doing here if it wasn't Quidditch? Figuring that out was effort enough and his eyes began to droop again.

'Harry, you're doing brilliantly. Just hold on a little bit longer, Poppy wants to check you over.'

Another voice, female this time, suddenly filled his ears. He rolled his head around to the other side meeting the concerned, yet smiling, face of the Mediwitch.

'Mr Potter, I think I may have to invest in a commemorative plaque for this bed, you are in it so often,' she said gently. 'I know you must be tired, but I need you to take these for me.'

Harry eyed the potions in her arms warily. He could taste them in his mouth already and he swallowed uncomfortably. Curling fingers around the back of his neck, she raised one vial at a time to his lips, allowing him to drink the cool liquid. Harry was already drifting again when she laid him back against the pillows.

* * *

><p>'How are you feeling?'<p>

The gentle voice invaded his senses. Harry turned his eyes to meet Lupins and smiled softly.

'Better,' he rasped.

'You had everyone worried for a while,' Remus said, settling in his chair beside the bed.

'How long?' Harry asked.

'A week. You've been drifting for a few days though.'

'What happened?' Harry asked breathlessly, and then raised an eyebrow at how croaky his voice sounded. He coughed, wincing as his head spun and tried again. 'What hap – what's going on with my voice?'

Remus smiled gently. 'It's just been out of use for a while, that's all.' His smiled faltered and he leant forward, resting his elbows on his knees. 'Do you remember what happened?'

As though someone had flicked a light switch, memories of the past week came flooding back to him, swirling in front of his eyes in a dizzying array of noise and images.

'The train crashed,' he breathed quietly.

'The Death Eaters attacked the train,' Remus confirmed.

'Wormtail and Malfoy... we saw them; was anybody hurt?'

Remus nodded sadly. 'We managed to get everybody out; but a lot of the students were injured. We were apparating everyone to safety when the Death Eaters turned up again. Fighting broke out but luckily after Severus and I got to you, Dumbledore turned up with re-enforcements and the Death Eaters fled. I don't know how many we lost; there hasn't been an official count up yet.'

Harry felt as though somebody had punched him in the stomach; he felt sick. More people had died because of him. Surely it would be easier if he just handed himself over to Voldemort? Then the Order could take care of him. Surely there was a loophole somewhere in this prophecy…

'Voldemort was there,' he said, remembering the pain he had felt. 'I could feel him, my scar -'

Remus looked down at him curiously. 'Voldemort wasn't there, Harry.'

He rubbed at his scar absently, completely confused, before remembering suddenly;

'Ron and Hermione? Ginny?'

'They're safe,' Remus said nodding. 'Tonks took them to headquarters. Everyone from the Order is fine – '

'It is just you, Potter, who managed to get their head blown up,' a voice sneered from the doorway. 'Anyone else is of little consequence.'

Harry clenched his fists around the bed sheets, his entire body stiffened with rage. Remus got to his feet.

'Severus -'

'The others who died,' Harry tried to snapped vehemently, but it came out much weaker than he intended, 'they don't matter? That's what you think?'

'Harry, take it easy - '

'Those people died because of me! More families have lost people they love and you think that is alright?'

'Harry, it is not your fault,' Remus said, glaring daggers at Snape, whose lip was quirked in amusement.

'Of course it's my fault, Remus. They were after me weren't they? They took down an entire train because they wanted to get to me.'

'Harry you have to calm down, otherwise Madame Pomfrey will spell you back to sleep,' Remus said firmly, anxiously watching the uneven rise and fall of Harry's chest. 'There's more to it than that. Voldemort just wants to cause mayhem – he wants to frighten people.'

And you,' Harry turned to face Snape again, determined to blame somebody; 'you took me off, when everybody was fighting! You left my friends there to die!'

'I believe you are the one who almost lead them to their deaths last month, Potter.'

This had the desired effect. Harry clamped his mouth shut almost instantly; he gritted his teeth and said in an icy voice,

'Get out.'

Snape quirked his lip and swept towards the door. 'The truth hurts, doesn't it,' he sneered before leaving and letting the door swing shut with a loud bang.

They sat in silence for a few moments, letting Snape's words wash over them. Harry noticed a faint buzzing that was beginning to fill his ears. His head felt oddly light, like he'd stood up too quickly; he hadn't noticed that before. His unyielding rage at Snape had distracted him from that feeling. It was as though he was going to tip from the bed at any moment.

'Are you alright?' Remus asked, frowning at Harry.

'My head feels really strange,' he replied, blinking a few times as though that would clear it.

'You hit your head when the train crashed. You lost a lot of blood and were severely concussed, and then we had to take a Port Key which, of course, only made things worse.'

Harry heard Madame Pomfrey give a disapproving tut as she suddenly appeared by his bedside. She had a habit of doing that.

'Port Key indeed,' she muttered, before rounding on him, a crease in her brow.

'After the shock, your brain needed to reboot itself. Poppy had to spell you to sleep so that your body could get itself sorted out again.'

Harry ran a hand through his hair towards the back of his head. He winced slightly as his fingers slid over a large scar stretching from either side of his head. 'I nearly decapitated myself,' he muttered, probing it gently.

'Yes indeed, Mr Potter,' Madame Pomfrey said. 'And you will need to rest. If I had it my way you would be staying here for another week, two even, but unfortunately you are being taken from my care.'

Harry nodded warily. Madame Pomfrey could be scary sometimes...

'I mean it, Mr Potter,' she said sternly. 'That is not a simple head injury. And one, might I add, that took many days to fix. It may take a while for you to feel completely normal again. You may suffer from headaches, memory loss, – if you hit your head again you may even suffer another seizure.'

Harry gave a sigh. 'Brilliant,' he muttered. When Pomfrey frowned at him, he added quickly, 'I understand... I'll take it easy.'

'Make sure that you do.'

* * *

><p>'You stayed?' Harry asked, a few days later, now noticing the dark circles under Lupin's eyes. 'The whole time I was unconscious?'<p>

'Of course,' Remus said with a smile. 'I had to make sure you were put back together properly. I don't think James would forgive me if you'd woken up unable to play Quidditch any more.'

'Thank you,' Harry said, feeling his cheeks flush. 'But, what's going to happen now?'

'We'll take you back to the Dursleys at the end of the week.'

'And what about Voldemort?' Harry asked, ignoring the feeling of dread about returning to stay with his Aunt and Uncle. 'If he's openly attacking the train, then that means he is getting stronger.' Harry swallowed thickly. 'There's going to be another war soon, isn't there? He's going to try to get to me again.'

Harry mentally berated himself for bringing this up, but the thought seemed to burst from his mouth before he could stop it.

Remus seemed to struggle for a few moments before he spoke. 'We can assume that the time is getting closer, yes. I believe Dumbledore will arrange lessons for you, training, sort out some kind of strategy with the Order.' He leant forward in his chair and took Harry by the arm, giving it a shake. 'You are not alone in this. We're all going to fight together.'

'Dumbledore is letting me fight?' Harry said, stunned.

'I don't think we'd be able to stop you if we tried,' Remus said. 'I think he's finally realised this.'

Harry couldn't meet his gaze. He stared off to the wall opposite, his eyes fixed on a small crack in the stone. _Or he's sending me to my death to fulfill the prophecy_, Harry thought bitterly. _Of course he wants me to fight; he needs me there to finish the job_.

'Ron and Hermione will want to fight as well – Fred and George too, and you and the Order...I don't want anybody else to die because of me,' Harry said quietly.

'They all want to help. We all want to take him down together; you're not going to be able to stop people from fighting. Voldemort has murdered their families and friends; everyone wants justice. You don't have to do this alone.'

'What if something happens to Ron or Hermione, or to you? I don't think my dad would forgive _me _if I got the last marauder killed off. I could never forgive myself.'

'Answer me this,' Remus said, smiling at Harry's last comment. 'If Voldemort hadn't murdered your parents, if Sirius hadn't died, if he hadn't caused you so much pain throughout the years, would you still be fighting him?'

Harry wondered this for a few moments. 'I think so,' he said fiercely. 'I wouldn't want anybody else to suffer.'

Remus smiled. 'That is exactly how everybody else feels. Those who are fighting _want_ to, they know the risks. We're an army together and we'll fight together. It's natural to be frightened -

'I'm not scared,' Harry cut in quickly. 'Well, I am, but not of fighting. I'm scared of loosing people I care about.'

Remus planted a firm hand Harry's shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. 'Then we'll just have to make sure that doesn't happen. Dumbledore wouldn't let us go into battle unprepared.'

Harry's lip twitched slightly.

'What like I do, you mean.'

'I think we're going to need some of your headstrong intuition,' Remus said with a smirk. Harry managed a small smile back.

'Nicely put,' he said.

'Get some rest. I'll be back in a few hours.'

Harry probed the back of his head again.

Dumbledore was going to let him fight. The Order was going to be trained. At least Remus' words brought some kind of comfort. They weren't going to go into battle completely unprepared. And hopefully, they'd forestall Voldemort long enough so that they were ready. Harry knew, if Dumbledore had anything to do with it, they'd be going into battle on his terms; he'd be pulling the strings. _Just like he is with me,_ Harry thought. But at least, if it were to be so, he would go down fighting. If Voldemort did kill him, then he would die how he wanted – by taking as many as Death Eaters as he could down with him.

He just had to survive the Dursleys first.

* * *

><p><strong>Woop! Chapter four complete. So Harry's being sent back to the Dursleys. Seems a little unfair considering he almost died!<br>Blame Dumbledore. Poor old Harry.  
>Hope you enjoyed! Chapter five will be with you shortly. <strong>


	5. Hostility

**Hello all! Thanks to those who reviewed last chapter. :)  
>In response to<br>****Fringie7: Yup! Harry's head injury has a lot to do with the story. It comes back to give him a nasty bite on the bum!  
><strong>**  
>vettechinheart: I love beating up Harry. It's one of my favourite things to do. Reading back through my entire story, I realised that I actually beat him up quite a lot. Yey!<strong>

**For those of you who hate the Dursleys, me too! Which is why Harry spends an alarmingly short amount of time there. Seriously, he's out of there in the next chapter, thank goodness! I found them the hardest characters to write, so I didn't give them much to say. Muh ha ha.**  
><strong>I'm going to post this chapter and the next one relatively close together because chapter six follows on straight after this one. I originally wanted to post it as one long chapter, but thought it would be a lot in one chunk.<strong>  
><strong>I stole a line or two of dialogue from the Order of the Pheonix book (thanks JK, just borrowing, I promise!)<strong>

**Anywho, i've rambled long enough.**  
><strong>Enjoy!<strong>

**Chapter Five**

_Hostility_

Harry looked dejectedly down at his feet as they hung off the side of the bed. It had been almost two weeks since he'd been admitted to the hospital wing and, though allowed to move around, he wasn't entirely sure he was feeling any better. Remus had helped him walk to the bathroom the first time Madam Pomfrey let him up. Appreciative though he was, Harry couldn't help feeling horribly embarrassed that he needed help with something as simple as walking. Remus had kept a steady hand on his arm all the way and then hovered outside, waiting to escort Harry back to bed.

Harry was grateful that for once he wasn't being plagued with questions asking how he was feeling. Remus just allowed him to get on with it, and was there if Harry needed a hand. It was an odd feeling to have somebody waiting to help out, even if it was for something trivial. Sadly, he wouldn't be able to get used to this – he'd have to go back to fending for himself. Moody, Tonks and Remus were taking him back to the Durlseys in a matter of minutes and Harry couldn't help but wonder how on earth was supposed to recover when they'd insist on putting him to work the moment he returned. Madam Pomfrey had given him a list of rules he was to adhere to at all times, many of them stating that he was not to do any strenuous work. Harry rolled his eyes. Sure, the Durselys were going to let him go without doing any chores. And Kreacher was cute.

Dumbledore had told Harry that he'd spoken with the Durselys personally, informing them of the situation and insisting that they keep an eye on him. Harry doubted very much that they would. He doubted that they even cared he'd almost died. But, seeing as Dumbledore was so insistent about sending him back there, he'd have to find someway to make do. He had a feeling his stay at the Dursleys was going to be very uncomfortable indeed.

Ron and Hermione had made frequent visits, as had Mrs Weasley and the twins. Remus stayed nearly ever day, disappearing randomly for a few hours and returning looking ever increasingly frustrated. They did their best to keep his spirits up and his thoughts off returning to Privet Drive, but Harry's mind was often elsewhere. He found it strangely difficult to focus on what they were saying. Their voices would drift in and out every few moments, like a badly tuned radio. A white fog would descend upon him, much like the one that affected him when the Dementors were near, and consume him for a short time, until he was roused again usually by a concerned looking Remus. Madam Pomfrey had said this was all normal, of course, and that he would recover in time.

'It's only for two weeks, Harry,' Remus said, smiling lightly as he watched Harry from his chair. Harry looked up, his face scrunched as if he were trying to remember something.

'How long?' he asked. 'Dumbledore said it was only for one week!'

Remus shook his head, his eyes flashing with something Harry didn't recognise. 'The Headmaster thought it best that you return for a week longer, to ensure the blood wards won't be breached.'

'Wonderful,' Harry muttered, running a hand across the scar on the back of his head. It wasn't like his lightning bolt. It was raised, bumpy. _Ugly. _Another reminder that Voldemort had almost succeeded in killing him...

'Time to go, Harry,' Remus said suddenly, getting to his feet. Harry looked behind him and saw the unmistakable shock of pink hair that belonged to Tonks, and the large intimidating figure of Mad-eye Moody. Tonks stumbled over the threshold to the hospital wing, grinning like a fool, and came over to greet Remus. Harry hid his smirk as Remus, blushing fiercely, returned her hug.

'Wotcher, Harry,' she said, leaning over to ruffle his hair playfully.

'Tonks,' Harry moaned, running his hand over the top of his head, 'I just had it lying flat!'

Remus chuckled lightly. It will never lay flat.' he said. 'James' never did.'

'Anyway, it looks cool,' Tonks said. 'Like you just got off your broom.'

Remus laughed harder this time. Harry glared at him, remembering the conversation he'd had with him and Sirius about his father after looking in Snape's pensive.

'Ready?' Tonks asked. 'We're using the Floo – I hope your relatives don't mind.'

Harry suppressed a sigh. He was pretty sure his relatives would mind. Very much so.

'I've already let them know we're coming,' Remus said, seeming to sense Harry's anxiety. 'And how we'll be coming.'

'Let's hope they unblocked the fireplace then,' Harry muttered.

Tonks went first, grabbing a fistful of Floor powder and throwing it down into the fireplace. With an eruption of emerald flames, she twisted into darkness, leaving behind a cloud of black ash. Moody followed next, limping into the fireplace with an odd sense of grace and bellowing 'No 4 Privet Drive' before he too, vanished.

'We'll go together,' Remus said after a few moments. 'It's difficult to keep balance, even when you're not recovering from a head injury.'

Harry scowled. 'My head isn't...'

He trailed off as the familiar white fog blanketed him again and for a few moments he was blissfully unaware. He came to when Remus snapped his fingers sharply in front of his face. Harry looked up apologetically.

'Sorry,' he mumbled.

'I rest my case,' Remus said, concern lining his face. He placed one hand firmly on Harry's shoulder and used the other to throw down the Floo power.

Harry did not like travelling by Floo. Ash flew up his nose and into his eyes, his stomach felt as though he'd just dropped sixty feet and his head reeled uneasily as the Dursleys living room spun into existence. Harry stumbled forwards; Remus caught him by the elbow and set him upright, brushing the ash off his own shabby robes.

'About ruddy time,' a loud voice snapped from across the living room.

Harry visibly flinched as his Uncle came thundering across the room, pointing a large, stubby finger in his face.

'You dare to keep me waiting, boy; you dirty my house with this – this _filth_! Get your stuff upstairs, now!'

Unfortunately for Harry, his mind had taken this opportunity to vacate for a few moments as he succumbed once again to the dense white fog. He was only brought back to awareness when his Uncle yelled something with such force; Harry thought his head to was going to explode. When his eyes focused again, Harry saw that Tonks and Moody both had their wands out and pointed at Vernon Durleys chest. Remus had a grip on one of his arms which was hovering unnervingly close to Harry's face, his own shaking slightly as he worked to restrain the man.

'Unhand me!' Vernon cried, trying to wiggle free.

Remus did not slacken his grip. He stared into Vernon's blotchy face and spoke with a chilling calm; Harry's hairs on the back of his neck stood up.

'I believe you are aware of the injury Harry sustained two weeks ago?' he said. 'He will need rest.'

'If we get word that you've mistreated him,' Moody growled, his wand inching closer to Vernon.

'And believe me, we will,' Tonks added.

'Then you will have us to answer to,' Moody finished, prodding Vernon in the chest and leaving a small cigarette like burn on his work shirt. Harry cursed inwardly. He was sure to get the blame for that...

'You dare to threaten me in my own house!'

Moody let his mechanical eye ball roll around sickeningly. Vernon stumbled backwards a few steps, and Remus released his arm so that he fell onto the sofa with a loud bump.

'Yes, I do.'

Moody then turned to Harry, holding out his hand.

'We'll be in touch,' he said simply, shaking Harry's hand and limping back into the fireplace. He grinned one last time at Vernon and then disappeared.

'Take care of yourself, Harry.' Tonks said, patting his arm gently.

Remus eyed him cautiously, reluctant to leave.

'I'll just help him take his stuff upstairs,' he told Tonks. She nodded, gave Harry one last wave and then stepped into the fireplace. Vernon was still on the sofa, his eyes narrow and cold.

'You will not step any further into my house,' he snarled, struggling to get to his feet.

'Harry's trunk is heavy. I wish to take it to his room.'

'He's not allowed it – it goes in his cupboard.'

Remus cocked an eyebrow curiously. Harry's heart gave a jolt. He didn't want Remus to see his old bedroom. He didn't want anybody to know that he had once slept in the cupboard under the stairs.

'Seriously, Remus it's okay. I can manage.'

Remus glanced at him dubiously. 'If you're sure,' he said.

Harry nodded and took his trunk; his head reeled slightly as he let it drop to the ground. Harry remembered that carrying heavy loads was on Madam Promfreys 'things to avoid' list, but he hoisted it into his arms anyway.

'I'll write,' Remus said, clapping Harry on the shoulder and then with one last look at Vernon, he turned on his heels.

After Remus had gone, Vernon grabbed Harry's trunk and, with all the gentleness of an elephant, he threw it into the cupboard and locked it tightly, placing the key in his shirt pocket.

'Get upstairs,' he snapped. 'Petunia shouldn't have to deal with you when she gets home. The sooner you are out of here, the better.'

* * *

><p>The Dursley household was quiet, unusually so, as Harry made his way to the bathroom for the second time that evening. Luckily, his Aunt and Uncle had stumbled in blind drunk from a work function a few hours previously and had neglected to lock his bedroom door. He crossed his fingers, hoping that they had passed out on their bed so he could make use of his precious freedom. But as far as his Uncle Vernon was concerned, Harry's hope wasn't likely to get him anywhere. His Aunt had once again resorted to pushing food through the cat flap in his door and Harry was only let out twice a day to use the bathroom. Things had returned to the dire situation he found himself in during his second year. It seemed the Dursleys had not taken kindly to Moody's threatening words, or the warning they'd received from Dumbledore after Harry had returned from the hospital wing. Harry, who was so used was used to extreme verbal abuse from his Uncle, was somewhat perplexed at the sudden silent treatment. They refused to speak to him and were content to pretend he didn't exist at all. Harry didn't mind, the silence actually made it easier for him. The thing that really got under his skin was the fact that they wouldn't even look at him. To be ignored so completely, so entirely, was a gut wrenching feeling. Did they really think that little of him? To not even look at him? Perhaps they thought him even more of a freak now, the way in which he would drift off for several minutes and with no recollection of what happened before hand. Dudley had tried to use this to his advantage a few times, attempting to get Harry into trouble, but had eventually grown bored and decided to go back to hitting him instead.<p>

Harry tottered weakly towards the wall, leaving heavily against it for support. His head was reeling again and he tried desperately to pull himself together, to focus on the simple goal of getting himself to the bathroom. It had been increasingly difficult to make even these short journeys since his return to the Durselys two weeks ago.

With strenuous concentration, placing one foot firmly in front of the other, Harry managed to pull himself to the bathroom. He slid to the floor, hanging onto the edge of the toilet seat with clammy hands. Small tremors ran through his body as he tried to still the nausea twisting in his stomach. Apparently the dream was still affecting him.

He rested his burning scar against the cool porcelain lid, sighing in relief as the heat relinquished slightly. He felt his lids begin to droop close, but they snapped open an instant later. He couldn't bare to go back to sleep...

Harry had been dreaming, it was peaceful and he was merely observing something until he had awoken, moments ago, stood beside his window staring into the street with his wand grasped firmly in his hand. He shook his head, completely confused...

How on earth had he managed to get hold of his wand? All of his school things were still locked inside the cupboard downstairs. But before he could figure it out, his scar erupted in searing pain and, before he was sick all over the carpet, he had to drag himself to the bathroom.

Harry turned his head to the window, the blinds were still open and he could see the sky through weary eyes. The moon was bright and almost full. Harry felt his gut twinge as he thought of Remus and how he would be faring. He missed his friends dearly; he even missed Moody for goodness sake. Any kind of human interaction would do. Hedwig was company, but the Dursleys had ensured to lock her inside her cage after she began making 'too much ruddy noise.' Even she was quiet now. She would hoot occasionally, providing some kind of comfort when Harry jerked awake from another odd nightmare, often finding himself not in his bed as he should be. Sometimes he'd be standing by the window, others he'd be halfway down the stairs – though he had no idea how he'd managed to unlock his bedroom from the inside. It was because of this that he barely managed a few hours sleep a night. It was in these moments, when the images of the dreams flashed across his mind and his chest hitched with panicked breaths that he wished for his godfather. Sirius.

Many times he'd have to remind himself that Sirius was gone, he was really gone. He wouldn't write any more, he wouldn't be there at Grimmauld Place to welcome Harry with open arms and hug him so tightly that Harry couldn't breathe. And as the two weeks had passed and no letters had come, Harry began to think that perhaps nobody would be there anymore. He shook his head, attempting to dislodge that thought. Someone would come, eventually. Even if it wasn't until the end of summer and he didn't turn up to school. Somebody would come.

A rustling on the landing pricked Harry's senses. And unfortunately, his scar took this opportunity to boil again, sending a rush of nausea to his stomach. With fumbling hands, Harry just managed to push the lid up and retched heavily into the toilet. The muscles in his stomach groaned in protest. He suddenly felt incredibly stupid for risking a trip to the bathroom. As the rustling intensified and drew ever nearer, Harry realised the punishment for leaving the bedroom wouldn't be worth the cool lid or even a drink from the taps. With a numb mind, he deduced he'd been very foolish indeed. His scar seared again and Harry let out a small cry, slamming his fist against it to desperately numb the pain. The rustling stopped abruptly. Harry's entire body tensed, trembling now not only with the pain and memory of his strange dream, but with the terror of his forthcoming punishment. Muffled voices drifted through the hallway, causing Harry to sit upright. That certainly didn't sound like his Uncle, or his Aunt...


	6. Recovery

**Here we go then, as promised, slightly earlier than usual.  
>I really did not enjoy this chapter. Only because I found it so difficult to write. It had me stumped for ages!<br>Anywho, thanks to those who reviewed last chapter and all the story alerts! :)  
>Hope you enjoy!<br>**

**Chapter Six**

_Recovery_

More voices appeared, three in total, talking quietly, quickly. Harry couldn't determine what to do. Should he call out and wake the Durselys? He didn't know how well that would go down for him. He looked around desperately, spotting a mirror with a large stand on the windowsill. He struggled to his feet and grabbed hold of it, arming himself as the voices grew closer to the bathroom door. Harry lifted the mirror above his head, his arms quivering with the effort. Many experiences of Dudley bursting in on him had taught Harry to ensure he locked the door, but he watched with fearful eyes as a mans voice whispered gruffly, 'Alohamora.'

The door came open and Harry, completely surprised to hear a wizard within the house, almost dropped the mirror on his toes. It clattered to the ground loudly, shattering across the floor.

'Potter!' the familiar voice of Severus Snape growled. He swept inside the room and slammed it shut, hastily whispering a spell to lock the door again. Snape looked at the broken mirror on the ground and quirked an eyebrow. Harry tried to pull his jaw closed.

'Snape?' he said stupidly. 'What the hell?'

'That's Professor Snape to you,' the man snapped, quickly pushing Harry backwards towards the window. 'Get down.'

'Why? What's going on?'

'Do you ever do as you're told?' Snape said, grabbing Harry's shoulder firmly and shoving him onto the ground. He turned and regarded Harry curiously for a few moments before the bathroom door came unlocked again with a quiet click. Harry wondered how his Aunt would react if she realised several wizards were wandering in and out of her bathroom.

'Harry?' Remus' voice whispered.

'Remus?' Harry said, almost laughing with relief. Two more people shuffled into the bathroom, wands aloft. Kinglsey Shacklebolt and Tonks looked down at him. Tonks with her hair now highlighted with electric blue and Kinsley with a firm gaze and set shoulders.

'The Dursleys!' Harry whispered suddenly, remembering how loud the mirror had been as it hit the ground. Remus shook his head with a gentle smile.

'We put silencing spells up. Your Aunt and Uncle are well and truly asleep.'

Harry nodded, relieved and blew out a shaky breath. He hadn't realised he'd been trembling so badly until he tried to pull himself to his feet. He perched himself on the edge of the bath and looked up into three worried faces and, one sneering, in front of him.

'What's going on?' Harry asked. 'Why is everyone so on edge?'

'There was a breach of the wards earlier,' Remus said.

'A strong one at that,' Kingsley said. 'Dumbledore was worried.'

Harry furrowed his brow. 'A breach of the wards?' he echoed. 'But no Death Eaters have turned up. And neither has Voldemort – I'm pretty sure I would have noticed him walking up the pathway.'

Kingsley was nodding. 'That's what's odd about it,' he rumbled.

'If we're done here?' Snape interrupted sharply, clearly loosing patience. 'I'm sure you three are more than capable of escorting Potter here back to headquarters without me.'

'Are we leaving?' Harry asked eagerly.

'Already got your stuff,' Tonks replied, holding up a miniaturized version of his school trunk. 'Did you try and break into the cupboard downstairs?' she asked.

Harry frowned and shook his head. 'No, why?'

'Somebody's done a pretty good job on it, looks like they were desperate to get in.'

'It was probably just Dudley, trying to get me into trouble again,' he said.

Tonks' eyes softened slightly as she took in Harry's appearance. He hadn't looked in the mirror for a while, but he didn't need one to know how awful he must look. He tried to smile reassuringly, but his exhaustion caught up with him and he was sure it looked more like a grimace. 'Merlin, what did they do to you, Harry?' she said quietly, her hands fisting in anger. Harry didn't reply; he didn't have the energy to even lift his head anymore.

He felt a hand on his shoulder.

'Let's get you out of here,' Remus said gently, holding Harry by the elbow and helping him to his feet. Harry swayed dangerously; Remus steadied him quickly, nodding for Snape, Tonks and Kingsley to go on ahead.

'Can you walk?' Remus asked and Harry nodded quickly, reluctant to admit he might need some help getting downstairs. Harry took one, two, three steps forward until his legs gave out on him. Remus wrapped an arm around his chest, catching him as he fell.

Harry cursed loudly, frustrated, as he tried to right himself. Remus lowered him gently to the floor instead, watching sadly as Harry thrust his head into his hands.

'What happened?' Remus asked gently, settling himself on the tiled ground across from Harry. 'What did they do to you?'

'They didn't do anything,' Harry muttered into his hands.

'Harry,' Remus said firmly. 'You look like you haven't eaten in days -'

'It's not that,' Harry cut in. 'I mean, the Dursleys just kept me inside my bedroom – I'm used to that...' he trailed off, looking at Remus uncertainly.

'What is it?' Remus asked.

'I've been having these dreams…' Harry said awkwardly. Now that he was about to voice what had been happening to him, Harry couldn't help but feel that nobody, not even Remus was going to believe him.

'You can tell me, if it's worrying you I might be able to help.'

Harry took a deep breath and began telling Remus about his strange dreams, finding himself in odd, compromising positions and how this was the reason that he had ended up in the bathroom with his head in the toilet tonight.

'I dream I'm in a particular position, and then I wake up there,' Harry said quietly. 'How is it that I can be asleep one minute and the next be half way down the stairs or outside my bedroom door?'

'The human mind is a complex thing, Harry. Your brain completely shut down only a few weeks ago. It is likely that this could just be a side effect, a stage in your recovery. You probably just need more time to heal.'

'But I never sleepwalk – it's never happened to me before. My scar hurt afterwards tonight...I don't know why.'

Remus shrugged, unsure what to say. 'We'll ask Madam Pomfrey,' he said. 'And we'll speak to Dumbledore about your scar. It is possible that Voldemort is just feeling particularly angry tonight. That's usually when it hurts, isn't it?'

Harry bit his lip, but nodded anyway. Something felt strange about this. It wasn't enough that Voldemort plagued his nightmares, he now had to distort his normal dreams as well.

All of a sudden a burst of anxiety shot through him; the weight of the prophecy suddenly fell on his shoulders, reminding him even more than usual of what he'd have to face one day in the future. He battled inwardly for a few moments, wondering if he should perhaps tell Remus. He would understand…wouldn't he?

But hadn't Dumbledore told him not to tell anyone?

If Harry was indeed destined to die, why not by his terms at least? Surely he had that right.  
>He didn't want to be alone in this.<p>

'Am I right in guessing that's not the only thing that's been bothering you?' Remus asked gently, interrupting Harry's inward battle.

Harry sighed heavily. How was it that Remus had such an uncanny knack for sensing when he needed to talk and when he needed to be left alone.

'There's something else...' he said. For some strange reason his heart begun to pound furiously in chest. A surge of uneasiness roiled through him, his breath hitched slightly in his chest. The fog was swirling around him, a small voice was echoing at the back of his head, demanding that he didn't tell Remus about the prophecy. He shook it off – he _had_ to tell Remus. Somebody needed to understand.

'You can tell me.'

Slowly, painstakingly, Harry recounted the experience he'd had with Dumbledore just after what happened after the ministry. He reluctantly included the bit about smashing Dumbledore's office to bits, his chest twinging with guilt as he did so. Remus didn't seem to care. He sat patiently; he listened and didn't say a word the entire way through Harry's story. Harry was pleased. It was easier for him to keep going without interruptions.

After a few moments of silence, of which Remus used to absorb everything Harry had told him, he said,

'Dumbledore told you, that you had to die?'

Harry shook his head.

'Not as such. He said that one of us would have to kill the other.'

'Right after you'd lost Sirius? He thought it appropriate to tell you then?' Remus shook his head, a heavy frown upon his face. 'That's why he's allowing you to fight? Because he believes that you are the one who has to kill Voldemort?' Remus paused. 'And you have assumed that you're going to fail?'

It was Harry's turn to frown. 'You really think I can beat him? For starters his magic is ten times what mine is, and he is a complete maniac. He'd do things that I wouldn't ever dream of doing.'

'Harry, remember what I told you before? That you weren't alone in this? That we were all going to fight together?'

'Yes, but if it's me who has to kill him – how on earth am I supposed to do that alone?'

Remus sighed, running a hand through his hair. 'Harry, I'm going to tell you something that I don't think I've ever said before... I think Dumbledore is _wrong_. I think this prophecy is … a theory. It's one possible aspect of what could happen. There is no definite to what you must or must not do.' He paused for a few moments, thinking. 'I think you need to speak with Dumbledore again. You need to understand fully what he means... I'm guessing he didn't want you to share this information?'

Harry shook his head.

'I am grateful that you trust me enough to tell me,' Remus said quietly.

Harry suddenly felt himself drifting again and he ran his hands across his face. He growled in frustration, trying to steer his mind back to the conversation with Remus.

'God, my head is all over the place at the moment,' he said quietly, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes.

'You've been through a lot recently,' Remus said. 'Nobody is going to think any less of you for being a bit mixed up at the moment.'

Harry knew that he was including Sirius in this statement, but Harry shrugged it off. He wasn't ready for that chat just yet.

'As long as I'm still able to play Quidditch,' he said.

'I don't think anyone would be able to stop you,' Remus said, smiling. 'Do you think you can stand?'

Harry nodded. He suddenly felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders and, with a little help from Remus, he staggered to his feet.

'When the Order hears how the Dursleys treated you, they are going to have a lot of angry people on their backs.' Remus told him, wrapping an arm around Harry's waist.

'I'd rather we didn't tell them,' Harry muttered as they made their way from the bathroom. 'They didn't do anything anyway - '

'Exactly!'

'No,' Harry said with a laugh. 'I mean I don't feel like this because of them. I feel crap because of these stupid dreams and my stupid head.'

'A lot of things are stupid,' Remus said, smirking.

'They are when they make me feel rubbish.'


	7. Return to Grimmauld Place

**Here we go then, chapter seven!  
>I did write a whole 'everyone reacts to Harry's treatment at the Dursleys' chapter, but decided to delete it as it didn't really move the story on. I've kept it though and I'll probably post it as part of a 'Missing Chapters' story that goes alongside this one.<br>Anyway, thank you for all the story alerts and reviews for the last chapter!  
>Hope you enjoy.<br>**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seven<strong>

_Return to Grimmald Place  
><em>

'Harry! Get up you lazy git, mum's got breakfast on the table.'

A pillow soared across the room and landed on Harry's face with a muffled thump. He cracked an eye open, pulling the pillow off his face to glare at Ron the opposite side of the room.

'Hermione and Ginny are already up!'

Harry shifted upright and then clambered to his feet.

'Who else is here?' Harry asked, attempting to pull on a pair of jeans and attack Ron with the pillow at the same time.

'Mum, dad, the twins, and then the Order. Dumbledore is coming this morning as well - '

'For the meeting, yeah.'

Ron's brow furrowed. 'I can't believe you're allowed in on it and we're not,' he moaned, grabbing the pillow back from Harry and launching it towards the bed. 'We have every right to be there – we want to fight too!'

Harry winced at these words. He'd known Ron would want to fight and, as Remus had told him, he wouldn't be able to stop his best friend. The thought was making his chest tight...

'What's up, mate? You look like you've just swallowed an egg.'

Harry grinned. 'No, I'm fine. I'll tell you all what they said anyway so you don't need to worry.'

Ron scoffed. 'Yeah, but it's the principle of the thing!'

After Harry had washed and dressed, the pair of them headed downstairs for breakfast. Headquarters had been unusually packed with people during the night; most of them had stayed for the meeting the next day. Harry had arrived in the early hours of the morning, so he hadn't seen any of the Weasley family yet or anybody else, and, for the first time, he was apprehensive about seeing Molly and Arthur. He would essentially be leading their sons into battle soon. If any of them died, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself...

'Harry! Dear, there you are.'

Right on cue, as they headed into the kitchen, Mrs Weasley pulled Harry into a bone crunching hug. She spent several minutes reprimanding him for growing and getting so thin before shoving him into a chair beside Ginny.

'So glad to have you back safe and well, Harry,' she said, bustling around and handing out plates with her wand. 'You had as all worried for a while, though you still look a little peaky.'

'Yeah, mate, what happened after you ran off to find Professor Lupin?' Ron asked, his mouth already stuffed with bacon. 'Next thing we heard was that you were in the hospital wing back at Hogwarts.'

'I attacked the train with my head,' Harry said, gesturing towards the large scar on the back of his head. Ron and Hermione both winced.

'Harry, that looks awful.' Hermione said gingerly.

'It must have been really painful,' said Ginny, tracing two fingers along it gently.

Harry gave a nonchalant shrug. He saw Remus smirk from behind his newspaper the other end of the table and blushed fiercely.

'Uh, not really. I was kind of too out of it to feel anything.'

Beside Remus, Tonks gave him a wink. Harry glared back; Ginny's fingers were still grazing along his scar.

'Dumbledore will be here at eleven,' Arthur told Harry across the table, handing him the bacon platter after noticing that his plate was empty. 'Then we'll start the meeting.'

Harry glanced around the table as he heaped food onto his plate. The only Order members at the table were Remus, Tonks, Molly and Arthur. Nobody else was in sight.

'Where is everyone else?' he asked after a mouthful of toast.

'On duty,' Tonks said. 'Some of us don't have the luxury of sleeping in all morning.'

Eleven rolled around far too slowly for Harry's liking. He was eager to get the meeting started. He needed to tell Dumbledore about his dreams and he wanted to know exactly who had died the night the train was attacked. He wasn't sure why, but seeing as it was his fault they were dead, he felt some duty to at least know who they were. His stomach clenched slightly; he hoped desperately that he wouldn't know anybody on that list.

Eventually, Dumbledore arrived, as well as the rest of the Order and they took their seats around the table in the kitchen. Ron, Hermione and Ginny had been ushered away upstairs. Ginny winked at Harry as she passed, twirling what appeared to be a piece of string between her fingers. Harry smiled at her, though he felt oddly uncomfortable as he sat between Remus and Arthur; he could sense people were looking at him and, as Dumbledore took his seat, Harry realised that the topic of this meeting was most likely going to be solely about him. He squirmed again in his chair.

'Voldemort has established himself in the public eye once again,' Dumbledore began solemnly. 'The attack on the Hogwarts Express, I fear, is the first of many and we must prepare ourselves. Lord Voldemort is attempting to manipulate the wizarding public using fear, he is trying to convince them that I am loosing my touch; attacking the train was just the first step in my downfall.' He took a breath. 'As a result, I fear my role as headmaster at Hogwarts will soon be relinquished.'

There were appalled cries around the table. Kingsley Shaklebolt actually slammed his fist down onto the table, Mad Eye cried such an obscenity that Molly Weasley visibly flinched.

'Albus, without you at Hogwarts the students will no longer be safe!' McGonagall said; there were more shouts of agreement.

'Minerva, students died in the attack whilst I was still in charge of the school - '

'You know full well that is not what I mean, Albus,' McGonagall cut in sharply. 'Whomever they choose to replace you will most likely be a tyrant who is working for the ministry.'

'Do you really want someone like Umbridge running the school?' Dedalus Diggle piped up from the corner of the room.

'Especially after what she did to her students,' McGonagall added with a firm nod.

Harry slyly pulled his hand off the table and placed it in his lap; the words 'I must not tell lies' were still fresh upon his skin. Remus watched curiously from the corner of his eye.

'Never-the-less,' Remus said, drawing attention to that end of the room, 'this is the situation we find ourselves in. Albus, surely you can station Order members around the school for extra protection. Severus and Minerva are not enough to protect the entirety of the students.'

Dumbledore was nodding, his hands placed respectively across his chest. 'That is why, I will have it arranged that Severus will take my position as headmaster, should the time come.'

Harry's head shot up to the seat in which Snape was sat; his fists clenched on the arms if his chair. He felt an unfamiliar anger swell in the pit of his stomach. Nobody else around the table looked as though this was a ridiculous idea; in fact it seemed like the only person who'd reacted was him.

'Well, at least that is something,' McGonagall said, apparently satisfied.

'So what's Voldemort's next plan of attack?' Harry said, unable to hold the question back any longer. There was a collective shudder around the table and he resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 'Where is now?' He directed this question towards Snape, an underlying snarl in his tone.

'We don't know,' Lupin admitted. 'As Albus said, the attack on the train was meant entirely for people to loose their faith in him. The next step, we can guess, would be for Voldemort to try to take control of Hogwarts. But, with Professor Snape in charge we should have that covered.'

Harry wanted to shout and scream that perhaps Snape wasn't as trustworthy as everybody suspected. He was, after all, still working for Lord Voldemort.

'And what happens when Voldemort discovers that he is a spy?' Harry asked angrily. 'How do you know that he hasn't already figured it out? And if Snape gets wiped out whilst he's in charge of Hogwarts – then what's going to happen?'

Remus shot Harry a warning glare and Harry tired to still the anger that had started to roll around in his stomach. He knew he'd over stepped the mark.

'Sorry,' he said sheepishly. 'But can you at least understand where I'm coming from?'

'Voldemort has not discovered that Severus is indeed working for the Order,' Dumbledore said calmly. 'He was summoned early this morning.'

'And what did he say?'

This time it was Mrs Weasley who spoke up. Arthur looked at her, mild surprise in his eyes and then directed his attention towards Snape. Even Dumbledore looked interested.

'Yes, Severus, you have not yet divulged the information from this mornings meeting. Perhaps you'd be so kind.'

Harry couldn't help but feel there was something slightly 'off' as Snape got to his feet to address the table. His usual sneering expression had been replaced by a firm set indifference. He looked as though he could not care less about the information he was about to reveal, but there was something strange in his black eyes that made Harry feel uncomfortable. Well, more so than usual.

'The Dark Lord has not revealed any more on the nature of planning other attacks.' Snapes eyes flicked towards Harry as he said, 'He has, however, begun to revolve a new plan around Mr Potter.'

Harry pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. He had seen this coming of course. He knew Voldemort wasn't going to let him get off lightly after what happened at the ministry.

'The nature of this plan, Severus?' Lupin asked sharply.

Snape raised his eyebrows slightly. 'We are unaware,' he said blandly. 'I would, however, Mr Potter, advise you to trust nothing you see in your mind, trust nothing that you dream. Whatever the Dark Lord has planned, I have reason to believe he will try to manipulate you in the same way he did at the ministry...' Snape trailed off awkwardly, not quite meeting anybody's eye. 'He also seemed to take particular interest in your health when you were recently taken ill.'

Dumbledore inclined his head towards Snape.

'Does he know the extent of Harry's injuries?' he asked as they exchanged what Harry thought was a rather secretive glance. His hands clenched on the arms of his chair once more, Umbridges scar standing out against his skin. Were they hiding things from him again? Had Dumbledore not realised that keeping Harry in the dark had ultimately resulted in Sirius' death?

'He knows that Potter suffered a seizure from his head injuries, yes.'

Dumbledore said nothing more, he nodded in acknowledgement and spent the rest of the meeting staring distantly at his hands folded in his lap. The Order spent hours going over places Voldemort was likely to attack, sorting out training regimes and battle strategies. After most of the day had passed, the meeting adjourned. Harry thought they weren't any closer to defeating Voldemort than they had been before they started. Remus must have seen this in his expression as, after the Order members had left and headed home he cornered Harry in the kitchen.

'We're trying our best, Harry.'

'Yeah I know,' he said quickly. 'And I know we can't just go running off into battle, but I thought things would move faster than this.'

'Dumbledore is just biding his time,' Lupin told him. 'We need to make sure we're as strong as possible when the time comes. We just have to wait for the opportune moment.'

Harry was dreaming, he was sure of it. He felt peaceful and warm and oddly at ease as he looked over the darkened room, his wand held firmly in his hand. He muttered something, a spell he did not recognise, and a ball of blue flame burst into his palm. It illuminated the desk he was rifling through. He continued to sift through rolls of parchment quickly, desperately trying to find what he was after, glancing over his shoulder every so often. Admitting defeat, Harry cursed loudly and turned his back. The room was a complete mess, he noticed, feeling bad for whoever had to clear it up. Parchment was littered all over the carpet, drawers were overturned and the bed sheets were strewn across the chair in the corner. He kicked a stray drawer, a dull clang echoed around the empty room and it collapsed into pieces. He smiled gleefully and headed towards the door.

'Harry?'

A white hot poker had been applied to Harry's head; the heat was so much he thought his skull would burst open. He cried out, slamming a hand over his scar. His entire body was trembling, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't think.

He felt a strong hand pushing against his chest. His eyes snapped open and he jerked forward, almost head butting Remus in the process. Remus bent down to his eye level and took Harry by the shoulders.

'Deep breaths, Harry – No don't sit up, just concentrate on breathing.'

Several minutes passed. Harry tried to still his shaking hands, tried to steady his breathing. Eventually he managed to pry his eyes open, the pain in his scar subsided, his chest felt less tight; he noticed as he looked up Remus hadn't let go of him since he'd woken. He felt some comfort in that.

'Okay?'

Harry nodded gingerly. He realised that the room was empty, the lights were off...and he wasn't in his bedroom. He went to sit up, his arms trembling underneath him.

'I – I – Where am I?' he said, his voice cracking.

'You're in Sirius' bedroom,' Remus said, his voice was tight.

'How - ?'

'I just found you in here...the whole room was a mess.'

'This is one of them,' Harry gasped, rolling onto his back and closing his eyes again. The light swirled in the darkness against his lids. 'My dreams – I dreamt this, but it's not a dream. It happened – I did it...'

'Harry, open your eyes. We need to get you on your feet,' Remus said.

'What's going on,' Harry muttered as Remus lifted him upright. Harry leant against him heavily. 'I don't know what's happening to me.'

'We need to speak to Dumbledore,' Remus said. 'We'll get it sorted, Harry, don't worry.'


	8. Occlumency

**Chapter eight**

_Occlumency_

'Tough break, mate.'

Harry glared at Ron across the room and then flung himself backwards onto the bed with a huff.

'I hate Occlumency, I hate Snape. You put them together and it is just a disaster waiting to happen!'

'You need to learn it, Harry,' Hermione said, tearing her gaze away from the book she was buried in.

'Yeah, but wouldn't you three benefit from learning it as well?' Harry asked, cocking his eyebrow curiously. Ron shot him a warning glare, Ginny shifted awkwardly on the bed, but Hermione's eyes lit up.

'You know, that's not such a bad idea.' she said, her eyes glowing as they would when she was assigned a new essay. 'After all, we're all going to be fighting - '

'None of you are of age,' Harry reminded them. 'Dumbledore won't let you.'

Ron snorted. 'You really think he's going to be able to stop us? Harry, in our first year, at eleven years old, we discovered that you – know – who was after the philosopher's stone and went after him alone. Second year, we went into the chamber of secrets to take on a basilisk. Third year, well I'd rather not talk about that – my leg hasn't been the same since. And recently, we went to the ministry and took on all those Death Eaters. We probably have more experience at fighting dark wizards than the Order put together.'

'We're all going to fight. We all want this to be over.' Ginny said.

Harry turned to her sharply. 'No way,' he said fiercely, unsure where this protective feeling was coming from. 'It's bad enough that those two want to fight, but you... your mum will never let you.'

'My entire family is in the Order,' Ginny snapped angrily. 'I'm not going sit at home and wait to see if any of them come back alive!'

'I already put you in danger by charging off to the ministry,' Harry snapped back. 'And you know what happened there.'

The room was filled with an uncomfortable silence. Ron and Hermione shared an awkward glance; Harry's stomach twitched angrily. Those two were becoming more and more secretive each day. He would often enter a room to find the two of them whispering together in a corner; whenever they noticed him they'd abruptly stop their conversation, turning their attention towards him. Harry was getting pretty sick of it. He already had Dumbledore keeping secrets from him, he didn't need his friends to start now.

'Harry, you need to stop blaming yourself for that,' Hermione said gently.

'How can I just stop,' he said. ' I hate the thought of you guys fighting as well. I've already lost Sirius...I don't want to loose anybody else.'

'We don't much fancy it mate,' Ron said quietly, his lips twitching. 'But you're not going to be able to stop anyone from fighting. So just, accept our help and be grateful for it.'

'I doubt we'd survive an Occlumency lesson with Snape, anyway,' Ginny said, having regained her composure. 'He'd love it – teaching four teenagers, all of which are best friends with Harry Potter.'

'You know,' a voice said from the doorway. 'Hermione's right, it might not be such a bad idea.'

All four of them started as Lupin appeared in the doorway, a sly smile on his face. 'Perhaps in future, you shouldn't leave these lying around?' He produced several pairs of extendable ears from his pocket. 'Molly will have your necks if she finds them.' He threw them back to Ron who caught them swiftly in his hand. 'Harry, Severus is ready for you now. You might want to ask him about giving lessons to the others as well. I'm sure you'd all benefit.'

Harry heaved a sigh and slid to the edge of the bed. As he stood, the voices in the room suddenly seemed to drift in and out of focus. A dense, white fog began to obscure his senses, he was getting used to it now... but there was something different about this. A sudden feeling of unease, of mistrust surged through him; his heart begun to flutter anxiously.

'Harry.'

As quickly as he'd succumbed, Harry snapped back into focus and found himself staring into the curious face of Lupin.

'Snape's waiting, Harry,' Lupin reminded him.

Harry shook his head, still disorientated. 'Sorry.' Turning to Ron, Hermione and Ginny he said, 'See you later guys,' and then headed out of room, a confused frown on his face.

'What the hell was all that about?' he heard Ron say quietly. Harry faltered on the landing, listening.

'Is his head injury causing him problems?' Hermione asked.

'I think that Harry should get to his lesson and stop eavesdropping,' Lupin called, sounding smug and, admitting defeat, Harry marched down the stairs to meet his fate. He was sure this was going to end badly.

A minute or so later, Harry pushed open the door to the living room to find Snape stood beside the window, staring distantly out into the street. Harry momentarily wished something evil upon Dumbledore for making him do this. Remus had contacted him late last night after the fiasco in Sirius' room. Dumbledore made Harry recount the experience and then told him absolutely nothing. He, instead, suggested that Harry start Occlumency again with Professor Snape and then swept quickly from the room, leaving Remus and Harry in an air of confusion.

'Sit down Potter,' Snape said. His voice was unusually cold, even for him. 'I'd appreciate it if you did not swan in late for every lesson – I do have other matters to attend to.'

Harry's jaw stiffened. 'Sorry sir,' he muttered through clenched teeth, biting back what he really wished to say.

Snape turned from the window, he didn't even glance at Harry as he crossed the room to the big oaken bookcase in the corner. The sunlight streaming through the curtains momentarily illuminated his face and Harry, for the first time ever, noticed that Snape looked tired. In fact, Harry would go as far to say he looked as bad as Lupin did around the time of the full moon... but seeing as Snape wasn't a werewolf, Harry believed the dark circles under his eyes had been caused something else. By _Voldemort. _

'Does he know?' Harry asked tentatively, the question escaping from his lips almost by accident.

'He does not,' Snape answered, his tone almost verging on courteous. 'The Dark Lord has, however, been harsher of late when handing out punishments.'

'More harsh with you?'

Snape turned from the bookcase, his eyes glittering dangerously. 'This is not the time to discuss it, Potter, and neither is it any of your concern.' He swept forward, gesturing harshly for Harry to sit down. 'Now, obviously, Lupin informed you that you will be learning Occlumency with me again. Let us hope you are more adept this year than you were last – we can't have any more mistakes such as the one at the ministry, can we?' Harry's hands instinctively tightened around the arms of the chair.

'As I told you last year,' Snape continued, ignoring Harry's reaction, 'this kind of magic is used in order to seal the mind against intrusion or external penetration.'

Harry nodded, he knew this of course. 'Considering your connection with the Dark Lord, the fact he is aware of this connection and the delusions he was imprinting in your mind, Dumbledore believes it will be beneficial for you to learn to close your mind completely.'

That odd sensation Harry had felt earlier suddenly crept over him again, fogging out his senses. Uneasiness slithered through his stomach, making it turn and reel nauseatingly.

'Potter!' Snape snapped, glaring at him from the chair opposite. Harry shook his head, the fog lifted slightly slower this time, like a mist clearing on a summer's morning. When his eyes focused again he noticed that Snape was eyeing him curiously, his face screwed into a tight frown. 'Once again, Potter, if you believe yourself too important to befit from this lesson, then perhaps you should leave?' He didn't wait for Harry to answer. 'No? Then pay attention.'

He stood sharply, withdrawing his wand from his robes in one swift movement.

'Stand up Potter,' he said coolly. 'I believe you are familiar with the drill, we did, of course, have many unsuccessful runs last year.'

'That's because you didn't tell me how to do it!' Harry snapped, giving way to the anger that had been building slowly in his chest.

Snape merely raised his eyebrows. 'If you wish to continue, Potter, then you should be more grateful to me. I am, after all, not the only one in this room doing this against their will. Now, prepare yourself.'

'Wait!' Harry shouted, throwing his hands up. 'I don't understand what I'm supposed to do to keep you out!'

Snape hesitated, watching Harry closely. 'Very well. Clear your mind, be free from all emotion, this in itself will stall me from obtaining your memories.'

Harry nodded. He closed his eyes and tried to let all of his emotions seep out, as if they were a trickle of water. It was difficult, there was still these odd emotions tugging at him, as if demanding that he gave way to them. The uneasiness roiled in his stomach again.

'You're not doing it, Potter. Focus.'

He tried again to empty his mind. He tried to forget how to feel, how to breathe, how to move. He just needed to simply exist.

'Secondly, Potter, it might aid you to build some kind of barrier to deter me. Picture this in your mind now, and focus only on this.'

Harry screwed up his face in concentration. In his minds eye he could see a simple brick wall but as Harry recalled, with Snape's battering ram approach, this was not going to be enough. He tried again, this time picturing a steel door that seemed to stretch in every direction. He added a padlock for good measure.

'Thirdly, you need to force everything behind this barrier,' Snape continued. 'This brings us back to the first step. You need to empty your mind once more and focus only upon your shield. Do you understand me?'

Harry nodded again. He focused on his steel door, feeling a twinge of amusement at how pathetic his padlock looked. Still, if it added some kind of comfort...

'Legilimens!'

At once, Harry felt the breath knocked out of him as Snape charged forward towards his door. Harry backed away anxiously, the room around him began to swim and suddenly vanished. For a few moments there was nothing, until the sound of Snape pounding against his steel door begun to ring through his ears. Harry watched as the door dented again and again until finally, it imploded and image after image rattled through his mind. He tried frantically to rebuild his door, standing it on edge just as Snape came to the memory of Sirius falling through the veil. Harry clenched his teeth. He would not let Snape watch that. Nobody would see that.

With a yell, Harry shoved Snape firmly behind the barrier and pushed himself against it, spreading his arms wide. The door trembled and vibrated...

With a sharp pain, Harry was dumped back into the living room and he realised that he'd stumbled forward into the table, whacking his shin. Snape had lowered his wand and was staring at Harry.

'For a first attempt, that was not as bad as I had expected,' he said, his wand twitching in his fingers. 'Your barrier wasn't strong enough. It was predictable and therefore easier to break through. You should choose something that has significance to you. This will stall me further.'

Harry frowned. What on earth could he use to build a shield from? Perhaps something that could fight back?

He focused again, this time picturing a wall made entirely of tiny, fluttering golden snitches. He packed them tightly, ensuring there were no holes of gaps that would allow Snape easy entry.

'I'm ready,' he said, tensing as he awaited the attack.

'Legilimens!'

Snape seemed somewhat perplexed as he stared up at the barrier looming in front of him. He moved slowly, poking and probing each section, looking for a weak spot. There wasn't one. Perhaps Potter was finally starting to listen...

With a deep breath, Snape stepped back and then flung himself towards the barrier. It instantly dispersed, the tiny golden wings fluttering frantically, panicked. One or two images thundered towards Snape and then the barrier suddenly reformed, shoving him backwards. He tried again, pushing harder this time. The wall of snitches twitched and, with a sudden burst of energy, they flew forward towards him, surrounding him like a swarm of bees. Snape flailed awkwardly, waving his hands in an attempt to free himself. He looked up and found the wall looming over him once more, the sound of fluttering wings echoed in his ears.

'Interesting, Potter,' he said levelly as he extracted himself from the boys mind.  
>Harry stumbled forward again, a sheen of sweat upon his face.<p>

'It still needs to be stronger. When your wall dispersed you allowed me access to some of your thoughts. You need to ensure that does not happen.' Snape furrowed his brow. 'It should not take so much effort – what's the matter with you?'

Harry wiped the back of his hand across his head, it glittered with perspiration.

'It was really strange,' Harry said, breathing heavily. 'It was like there was something that wanted me to let you in.'

Snape rolled his eyes. 'Yes, that would be me.'

Harry shook his head. 'No, it was like there was something else. Like another force or something trying to stop me building my barrier.'

Snape stared back at him. 'We shall try again,' he said slowly, 'so that I can see what you mean.'

'I don't think you can see it, sir,' Harry said. 'It's just there, inside my head.'

'I wish to try none the less.' Snape raised his wand again. 'Legilimens!'

This time, Snape was completely still, just observing the wall stretching and fluttering in front of him. He stepped forward and looked with an intense gaze. There was nothing obvious that would exhaust Potter so much – then there was a yell from somewhere behind the barrier. Snape heard it reverberate around the living room but he tuned out, focusing back on the golden snitches beating their wings impatiently.

'Potter?' he asked the wall.

'I can't hold it much longer,' a raspy voice called from the other side. It sounded like he was having trouble breathing.

'Why is that?' Snape asked curiously.

'There's something – I don't know where it is – it's trying to pull my shield down.'

'Does it feel as though it is coming from my side, or your side of the barrier?'

Harry hesitated for a few moments, before saying. 'My side. It's definitely my side.'

Snape released him, and as the living room swam back into existence, Harry fell to the ground heavily. Sweat was dripping down his nose and he was trembling slightly, his gaze however was strong and fixed purposely upon Snape.

'Could you feel it?' Harry said. 'Sir,' he added quickly.

Snape narrowed his eyes, thinking. 'I could not,' he said. 'Which leads me to believe that it is coming from inside your mind…perhaps some unconscious action which is leading you to sabotage your own barrier?'

'Why would I do that?' Harry said angrily.

'Do not snap at me, Potter,' Snape said, his ice cold voice retuning in full measure. He eyed Harry for several moments, mirroring the intense dislike on his face before saying, 'The injury you received during the crash could be to blame. Perhaps you are not fully healed.'

'But I feel fine!'

'You had a seizure, Potter,' he snapped. 'That in itself is an extremely dangerous blow to your mind. Never-the-less, we shall continue with these lessons. You mind will heal, eventually, and perhaps we can build some kind of permanent barrier along side your recovery.'

Harry scowled darkly. 'There is nothing wrong with my head!'

Snape curled his lip. 'I beg to differ. I want you back here on Thursday. We shall resume our practise then.' With an elegant sweep of his robes, Snape turned from Harry towards the door.

'Oh, sir!' Harry called quickly, remembering what Remus had said. Snape hesitated in the doorway, not turning to face him. 'Would it be all right if you taught Ron and Hermione and Ginny Occlumency as well? Remus said that they'd benefit from learning it seeing as they want to fight too.'

'They are not of age,' Snape said. 'Dumbledore will not allow them to fight.' Harry opened his mouth to protest but Snape cut him off quickly with, 'However, seeing as they are friends of Harry Potter, famous for running off into dangerous situations without thinking, perhaps it would be best if they learnt should they get themselves captured. I see no reason to teach Miss Weasley however as she will not be fighting, even if her mother has to lock her inside this house.' With that, Snape stalked from the room, his robes billowing behind him. Harry cocked an eyebrow. Had Snape sounded _sincere _when he spoke of Ginny? Could he possibly be concerned about the welfare of one of his students?

_'Out of my way, Weasley.'_

Harry shook his head as he heard the front door slam shut. No way. He'd imagined it.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed :)<strong>


	9. Keep your cool

**Hello everybody :) Here is chapter nine! The story is finally starting to move along now, don't give up hope on it yet! Plenty of intresting bits and bobs to be revealed in the next few chapters! And Harry will get beaten up again soon, I know everyone loves that ;) so don't fear!  
>Thanks to those who reviewed and for all the story alerts! Hope you enjoy.<br>****  
><strong>

**Chapter Nine  
><strong>_Keep your cool_

Harry stood in the kitchen nursing a cup of tea silently. The house was empty. The Order members were running various errands for Dumbledore, Mrs Weasley had taken her family and Hermione to Diagon Alley after Harry had finished his Occlumency lesson. Strict orders from Poppy meant that Harry had to stay at home and rest. Apparently Occlumency lessons were very strenuous for a healing brain.  
>He'd only been back in Grimmauld Place two days but already he was starting to get restless. He felt fine, why on earth was everybody so worried about a stupid cut on his head? He did have a habit of drifting every now and then, but that didn't mean he was loosing his mind. Harry sighed irritably. The dreams, however, were another matter. Dumbledore had said that Occlumency would help, but if Harry couldn't even keep up a shield how on earth was he supposed to keep Voldemort out of his head? He had a niggling feeling in his stomach that Dumbledore wasn't telling him something. His scar blazing in agony whenever he woke from these dreams was not a mere co-incidence. Voldemort was involved, Harry was sure of it.<p>

_He's is just trying to mess with me_, he said to himself, sipping his tea. He wouldn't let Tom Riddle get the better of him. He was stronger than that.

The fireplace roared suddenly and somebody stepped through the green flames, brushing themselves free from ash. Harry sighed into his cup. 'Please don't tell me I'm supposed to be resting,' Harry said in answer to Remus' raised eyebrow. Remus settled himself in a chair at the end of the table, leaning heavily on his arms.

'Seeing as you already know you should be, I won't.'

'Technically I _was _resting. Thinking can't be overly strenuous can it?' Harry said, staring distantly into his cup again.

'How're you feeling?' Remus said.

Harry shrugged. 'I feel fine, I guess.'

'That wasn't exactly what I meant.'

Harry looked up from his cup, frowning. Realisation dawned as Remus looked back at him. His eyes weren't full of pity as most others were when he was asked this question. Remus just looked as though he wanted to listen. Harry shook his head, how could he have gotten all that from one look. He was turning into Dumbledore...

'I heard what you said this morning, about Sirius.'

Harry felt a sliver of cold race up his spne. Part of him wanted to sprint from the kitchen, but a more rational part of his brain told him to stay where he was. Remus wouldn't judge him. He'd listened about the Prophecy and he'd listened about the dreams, even if he was dubious to begin with.

'You think it's your fault?' Remus continued.

Harry looked away, but nodded. His head moved almost of its own accord.

'Guilt is an understandable emotion,' Remus said slowly, mulling the words over in his head. 'I feel guilty for not being able to save him, I feel guilty because I should have been able to do something more. And people will tell me not to feel that way, that I couldn't have done anything – but that doesn't make the guilt go away.'

Harry glanced back to Remus. 'Right,' he said nodding. 'Exactly.'

'I understand why you would feel guilty, Harry,' he said. 'I know why you believe it to be your fault.'

'I don't want people to tell me it's _not_ my fault,' Harry said quietly. 'I just want, well like you said, I want someone to understand why I feel this way – not correct me.'

'Well take it from me then,' Remus said, 'as guilty as I feel, I know there was nothing I could have done.'

'But _I _could have, I could have practised Occlumency more -'

'Voldemort would have lured you there another way, Harry. He was determined to get you to the ministry.'

'I could have told somebody before running off...'

'True, but you acted on the information that you had. We would have done exactly the same thing if we believed it was you in that position.' Remus shifted in his seat, watching Harry as he continued to stare into his tea. 'Trust me. The guilt will fade, perhaps not entirely, but the most important thing to understand is that there was nothing you could have done. Sirius wouldn't want you to feel this way and I know he wouldn't want me to feel this way either.'

'I know,' Harry said, swallowing the sudden lump at the back of his throat. 'It's just hard to know he won't ever be here again.'

He felt burning at the back of his eyes and he blinked quickly, keeping his head down. Remus didn't need to see him crying, as if it wasn't bad enough he was blurting out his feelings to him.

'I know. But you can remember him and that helps, even if it's only a little.'

They drifted into a comfortable silence for a few minutes, just thinking, until Harry let out a sharp laugh, shaking his head and smiling.

'God, listen to us. What do you think he'd say if he saw us now?'

'I think he'd tell us to stop being a pair of queens and get the firewhisky out,' Remus said, chuckling. Harry raised his eyebrows hopefully.

'Don't even think about it, I've hidden Sirius' stash.'

'I wouldn't put it past the twins to find it.'

'They already have. I let them drink it though, and they haven't gone searching for it since,' Remus said with a playful grin. 'I don't think they could handle the hangover.'

'Maybe I won't have any then,' Harry said. 'I think I'll just stick to butterbeer.'

'Good idea.'

Curling up on the sofa with his defence book after dinner, Harry felt himself falling easily into a peaceful sleep, the first in what seemed to feel like forever. He smiled to himself as he remembered the conversation with Remus. His father's friend had an odd knack at making him feel better and he found he was coming to rely upon that more often these days.

After his first restful sleep in what felt like years, Harry made his way down to the kitchen. It was an odd feeling, waking up to find himself in his own bed, rather than halfway down the stairs. Number 12 was eerily silent as he collapsed, bleary eyed into a chair at the table. He glanced around the empty kitchen, wondering where everyone else could be. The Weasleys may have gone back to the Burrow for a few hours – Harry vaguely recalled Ron moaning about a visit from his Aunt Muriel sometime this week, and the Order were probably off running errands for Dumbledore. The house seemed twice as big when it was empty. Every sound would echo through the hallways, whilst Mrs Black's snores were accentuated by the ominous silence.

Harry hated being in the house alone. He imagined his own feelings mirrored those of Sirius when Dumbledore had him locked up the previous summer. Harry found himself longing to go outside, just to sit for a few hours in the park across the street, or to go for a fly on his broom. He scowled darkly to himself, knowing full well that Remus and Mrs Weasley would not let him anywhere a broom.

The fireplace suddenly roared to life, dragging Harry from his reverie, and before the emerald flames had a chance to die, Tonks came stumbling through in a large cloud of ash. Her eyes were wide and panicked; she looked uncharacteristically nervous.

'Tonks?' Harry said, leaping to his feet. 'What is it? What's happened?'

Tonks moved forward and took Harry by the shoulders, steering him back into his chair.

'Harry, I'm sorry,' she said quietly.

'What?' Harry demanded. 'Is someone hurt?'

She shook her head quickly and then stopped herself, not quite meeting his eye.

'_Tonks._'

'Sorry,' she said, sitting across from him and running a hand across her face. 'It's been a long night,'

She paused, her eyes flicking towards the fireplace. 'It's your Aunt and Uncle,' she said, not looking away. 'Voldemort is attacking the house. The wards are going to fall any minute now.'

Harry sat up straight in his chair; his heart began to pound rhythmically in his chest.

'Are they safe?' he asked quickly.

'I don't know – I'm sorry. Dumbledore sent me straight here to keep an eye on you.'

Harry frowned and felt anger bubbling in the pit of his stomach. 'I don't need keeping an eye on,' he snapped. 'I'm fine.'

Tonks turned her head to him, though her eyes were glazed and unfocused. 'Dumbledore said it might affect you...'

Harry waited for her to elaborate. When did didn't he said more forcefully,

'Affect me _how_?'

She turned back quickly to the fireplace. 'I don't know. Physically I think. That's what I got from what Dumbledore was saying anyway.'

Harry nodded, though he wasn't satisfied with that answer. Tonks' head was clearly elsewhere. Harry didn't have to think too hard to guess where.

'Are the Order there?' he asked.

'They're doing their best, Harry,' she said as though she were playing a pre recorded message. 'You're family are going to be just fine.'

Harry nodded again, still feeling doubtful. Tonks' shaky voice didn't install much hope in him.

Ron had said it himself, the Order had been outnumbered at the Ministry by the Death Eaters. If Voldemort launched a full scale attack, they wouldn't stand a chance.

They sat in a tense silence for a few minutes. Harry's, as well as Tonks', eyes were now fixed on the fireplace, awaiting the safe return of all their friends. His heart was still fluttering anxiously in his chest. Guilt roiled through him as he thought of everyone battling for their lives, battling to save his family, even after how they'd treated him. He just hoped they'd appreciate it.

'Have they been there long?' Harry asked, breaking the silence.

Tonks shrugged. 'They've been trying to fend off Voldemort since dawn.'

Harry felt a sudden surge of anger, almost propelling him to his feet. He hit his fist against the table; Tonks was still sat rigid as if she hadn't noticed.

'I want to be there,' he said firmly. 'I want to help fight.'

Tonks smiled lightly. 'Remus said you'd say that,' she dragged her eyes from the fireplace and gave him a slightly more reassuring smile. 'Sorry, Harry, but you're stuck with me. Trust me, the Order can handle it.'

'How can you be so sure?' Harry muttered.

'If not belief, what do we have?'

Harry sighed, turning away from her and thinking over her somewhat odd choice in words. His eyes began to water as he stared desperately into the coals. Any second now, he told himself, any second now...

All of a sudden, a sharp pain radiated though his stomach, as though somebody had punched him. Harry doubled over, momentarily winded, and clutched his stomach with a grimace. The white fog he was growing accustomed to threatened to consume him, but another painful hit to his gut snapped his mind back into focus. His heart picked up speed, if possible, pulsing the anxiety around his body. But there was something else...

Something deeper. An alien feeling, one that felt peculiar considering the circumstances and one that was most definitely not his own. It was happiness. It was faint, like a tiny blip on a radar, but it was there. Harry suddenly felt as though he was being pulled in two different directions. Anxiety pulled him one way but happiness, though smaller, was stronger and was putting up a fight.

'I think it's started.' Tonks' voice came from beside him. Harry lifted his head to see Tonks looking down at him thoughtfully; she placed a hand reassuringly on his shoulder. 'You might want to sit down,' she told him.

'Is it going to hurt?' Harry asked, unable to help the anxious tilt in his voice.

'Not as such,' Tonks said. 'It's just an unpleasant experience, I think...'

'Why?' Harry demanded. 'What's happening?'

'Dumbledore explained it...he said it was because of your mothers sacrifice. As she gave her life to save you, she created the wards. Now they're falling and that's what you're able to feel...kind of.'

'I can feel my mother sacrifice?' Harry asked, shocked. Tonks shrugged and returned her gaze to the fireplace, though her hand stayed firmly on his shoulder. 'I guess so...sort of. Sorry, Harry, I don't really know too much about it.'

Before Harry could reply with a sarcastic comment about how helpful she was being, his stomach was hit with another blow, much harder this time. He fell forwards, nausea twisting in his gut.

'Just breathe through it,' Tonks said 'It should help.'

Harry lifted his head again, frowning. 'I'm not having a baby, Tonks.'

Tonks gave a little laugh. 'Sorry,' she said. 'I'm not very good at all this, am I?'

Harry tried to return his attention to the grate. With Tonks being as much help as a wingless Hippogriff, Harry stared into the fireplace; watching the coals seemed to provide more distraction to these odd feelings than she did at the moment. He swallowed thickly, trying to still his swimming stomach when he was hit with another blow, one that almost sent him sprawling onto the floor. He gasped in some air, his mind spinning. As he drew in air for one breath, the next seemed so much further away. Tonks squeezed his shoulder, though her eyes were still far away, waiting desperately for Remus to return and, truth be told, Harry couldn't wait to see him walk through the flames either.  
>But what if he didn't come back? What if something happened to him? Harry's breath began to hitch in his chest and he took large overcompensating breaths, screwing his eyes shut as he concentrated. He was so deeply caught up in struggling to breathe that he didn't hear the roar of the fireplace. It wasn't until he felt a firm hand upon his back that he noticed there was a second presence in the room.<p>

'How is he?' a deep, familiar voice said.

Harry would have leapt to his feet with joy, but a cold chill slithered up his spine sending tremors through his body.

'How're you feeling, Harry?' the voice said. Harry peeled an eye open, managing a small grin as Remus' face appeared in front of him. There was a large cut running the length of his cheek and he looked somewhat flustered. Harry opened his mouth to comment, but Remus' cut him off quickly.

'It's just a scratch,' he said, waving his hands dismissively. Harry frowned at him skeptically. 'Really,' he insisted. 'It looks much worse than it is.'

Harry was going to make a cocky retort, but his head and stomach were hit with simultaneous blows. Panic pulled him too his feet, almost bundling Remus to the floor and he clutched at the mans arms desperately.

'You're alright,' Remus said gently, placing his hands around Harry's elbows. 'Your Aunt and Uncle are just fine.'

Harry breathed an invisible sigh of relief.

'Your Cousin, on the other hand, got on the wrong side of Moody,' Remus continued, smiling. 'He now has a fetching pair of ears to match the tail Hagrid gave him.'

Harry laughed and then grimaced as uneasiness slithered up his stomach again. Remus squeezed his elbows reassuringly. 'You're fine. It's just your body's natural defence,' he told Harry.

'Why does it feel so weird?' Harry asked.

'Your body is being hit with an overdose of adrenaline' Remus said. 'It'll pass soon.'

'So it's like, a panic attack?' Tonks asked.

Remus nodded. 'Sort of, but then with the added sensation of the wards falling.'

'Oh, I'm sorry, Harry,' Tonks was saying. 'I didn't think it would affect you this badly.'

Harry blew a breath through his mouth, trying to calm himself. He could feel his heart going mad in his chest. His legs felt wobbly and he had to restrain himself from legging it from the room.

'Was anybody hurt?' Harry asked, a vain attempt to distract himself.

'No, everyone got out alright,' Remus said. 'Kinglsey got hit with a pretty nasty cutting hex, but he should be okay in time.'

Just as Harry thought the pain was passing and he went to release Remus from his death grip, the dense white fog began to make its decent.

_Not now,_ Harry begged, _not now! _

He felt his mind and eyes begin to mist over and he tired desperately to keep a hold of reality for a moment longer. He didn't understand why his mind had chosen now to vacate when he needed to be aware. He needed to know what was going on with the wards, he needed to be able to deal with that odd sensation, but instead the fog had taken hold and was trying to drag him to the realms of unawareness.

'Stay with me, Harry,' Remus said firmly, his voice breaking through the mist. Harry tried to nod, but he found, all of sudden, he wasn't able to move his head. The next few minutes passed in a strange blur. He stood rigid, not thinking, but completely aware of his incapability to move his own body. He began to panic. The fog had never affected him this way before. Usually, he just drifted for a few minutes, the time would pass and he would come back to focus completely unaware of what had happened. But this time was different. He _knew_ he was trapped. He knew he was stuck inside his body, unable to move, unable to command it to do anything. He couldn't see, he couldn't think straight and he couldn't move. And it was terrifying. He was screaming inside, begging for Remus to notice what had happened.

And then, a burst of pure rage tore though him, much stronger than what he'd ever felt before. His entire body burned, his eyes almost sizzled from their sockets and his scar was on fire. From across the room he heard Tonks gasp and then, as quickly as it had come, the fog lifted and Harry found himself able to move again. He fell forwards into Remus who caught him quickly and steadied him. He shook his head, trying to clear the last remnants of disorientation.

'That wasn't just the wards falling, was it?' Harry said breathlessly.

Remus shook his head. 'I think we need another chat with Dumbledore.'


	10. A meeting with Snape

**Here we go guys, chapter ten. Yey!  
>Pay attention to this chapter. The 'promise' mentioned with Snape has significance to later chapters and also (if I decide to write it) will have a biiiig impact on the sequel!<br>Thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter and all the story alerts. I love getting them! It's lovely to know people are reading and enjoying the story.  
>I hope everybody is all ready for Christmas and New Year. I have a craaazzzyy week ahead of me at work. I saw something the other day, 'It's the most wonderful time of the year...' unless you work in retail.<br>Truer words haven't been spoken.  
>Merry Christmas everybody! I'll post again after the big day :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter ten<strong>

_A meeting with Snape._

Tom Riddle held his wand lazily between two fingers. He wasn't even bothering to look at the writhing form on the floor in front of him. He was bored now. Unfortunately, all of the fun had been taken out of this particular torture; the man had obviously been used to receiving the Cruciatus for his lips stayed clamped together and he made no sound. He just screwed his eyes shut as his limbs flailed awkwardly around him.

'My dear Severus, it was foolish of you to believe that you would get away with this.'

There were several jeers and cries of agreement from the surrounding Death Eaters. Voldemort silenced them with a wave of his hand and then ended the curse that was still binding the potions master. He bent low, his face close to Severus' ear.

'Harry Potter will die,' he whispered softly. 'Lily's son will die at my hand and it would have been your fault Severus. Can you live with that? Can your ugly mudblood loving heart cope with that failure Severus?' He turned to face his followers, signaling for the two nearest to pick him up. 'Do what you will with him, but do not kill him,' he snapped as they hauled Snapes crumpled figure to his feet. 'I wish him to endure the demise of the boy-who-lived. I want to see the look on his face as Harry Potter _dies_...'

He trailed off, eyeing his prisoner carefully. 'You will not beg for forgiveness, Severus?' he whispered. Snape did not move. He opened his eyes and glared back at Voldemort; years of repressed hatred shone through. He shifted onto his side; a spasm of pain shot through him but he clenched his jaw, stilling the scream that wished to escape him.

'I did not fail,' Snape rasped, his breath heavy. 'I did my job, just as I promised Lily and Dumbledore.'

Voldemort cocked an eyebrow, his eyes flashing, and then clicked his fingers. The sound echoed around the dark room they were in; the group of Death Eaters separated as a figure was dragged forward through the crowd, hoisted up by Nott and Avery. The figure did not seem to be moving; Snape's chest tightened. The Death Eaters dumped the figure onto the ground beside Snape and returned to their positions.

Voldemort glared down, aiming a swift kick to the stomach of the body on the ground. The body rolled and the battered and bruised face of Harry Potter was illuminated before him. His eyes were shut, his breathing labored. And Snape began to laugh.

Harsh and callous though it was, the sound still rang around the room, completely uncharacteristic from the mouth of Severus Snape. A nervous twitter came from the audience.

'What is so amusing, Severus?' Voldemort asked curiously.

'You have no idea, do you?' Snape hissed back, a twisted grin upon his face. Voldemort aimed another kick to Harry's face. The boys head rolled around sickenly and a crack filled the air. If he wasn't already, Severus deduced the boy would certainly be unconscious now.

'He will die,' Voldemort snarled, gazing down at his two prisoners.

'Then so will you!'

Voldemort's eyes flashed with anger and aiming his wand towards Harry he screamed,

'CRUCIO!'

Harry burst into consciousness with a jolt. A searing pain shot through his scar and he clamped a hand to it quickly, gritting his teeth. Trying desperately to shake the disorientation that accompanied the pain, he made his way towards the bathroom. He ran the tap, dampening a flannel with cold water and clamping it to his forehead. The effect was almost instant, the pain subsided and he sunk gratefully to lean back against the bath. He knew he needed to tell somebody about the vision, but he was beginning to doubt himself. Nearly everybody had confirmed that Voldemort had planted things inside his head last year, that's why he ran so recklessly after Sirius. But, planting a vision about Snape? Harry didn't even like Snape...

There was a tentative knock at the door.

'Harry?'

Harry sighed in relief and leant his head back against the bath.

'You can come in, Remus.'

The door cracked open and a disheveled looking Lupin wandered in. He reached for the light, squinting as it illuminated the room.

'Why are you sat in the dark?' he asked, moving to perch himself on the toilet seat.

Harry shrugged. 'What time is it?' he asked.

'About two.'

Harry raised an eyebrow. 'What are you doing up?'

Remus laughed. 'You're beginning to sound like Molly now,' he said. 'I couldn't sleep. My mind has been a bit over active of late.'

'I know how you feel.' Harry absent mindedly rubbed at his scar, wincing slightly – it was still tender. He looked over at Remus, who was staring at him with an odd expression on his face. Harry knew he was going to probe him, but it didn't bother him. Not as it would if it were Dumbledore staring back at him. He trusted Remus. Remus wouldn't lie to him.

'Did you have another one of those dreams?' Remus asked gently.

'I woke up in my own bed, so I don't think so,' Harry said. 'Voldemort was torturing Professor Snape... But, Snape's here right, he's staying in Headquarters tonight?'

'Watch out, Harry, anyone would begin to think you cared for Severus,' Remus said with a smirk. 'But yes, he's here and he's perfectly fine.

'It was weird,' Harry said frowning into the distance. 'In the dream, Snape said he hadn't broken his promise to my mum.'

'Lily?'

'Yeah, Voldemort said that Snape had failed her. But then Snape said he'd done his job, just as he'd promised her and Dumbledore.'

Remus looked just as perplexed as Harry felt.

'I expect Voldemort was trying to plant things in your mind again.'

'But why would he plant things about Snape?' Harry said. 'Do you think he knows that Snape is a spy?'

'We have no way of telling, Harry. Not until he is summoned again.'

Harry cocked an eyebrow, running a hand through his sleep messed hair. 'Right, so when his mark burns again he's just going to skip off to Voldemort like nothings happened?'

'He has to keep his position as a spy for as long as he can. We need him in that inner circle and he is willing to take the risk.'

Harry was silent for a few moments, letting that wash over him. At this rate another person would be dead because of him, even if it was Snape.

'But what if it was trying to tell me something?' Harry asked, unable to let it go.

'Okay,' Remus said, sitting forward. 'Tell me, if this was real, what was Voldemort trying to tell you?'

Harry scratched the back of his head, running his fingers along the brutal scar under his hair line. 'Well, if Voldemort was planting this in my head, then I'd guess that he doesn't trust Snape any longer. He might not necessarily know that Snape is a spy, but he suspects something.'

'And what Voldemort said about Lily?' Remus asked. 'And Snape's promise to her and Dumbledore?'

'I think – I think Voldemort is trying to say that he's keeping secrets from both sides.'

'That is what I would think,' Remus said. 'It is, however, only speculation. You cannot take this to be the truth – Voldemort may just be trying to stir things up, or it may have simply been a dream. This was the reason Dumbledore wanted you to learn Occlumency again – so you could shut out these dreams. If you pay attention to them, they will begin to tear you apart, Harry. You must learn to block them out. These and the ones in which you have no control, where you wake up somewhere else.'

Harry raised an eyebrow. That's easier said then done, he thought. But he knew Remus was right. He had to try harder if he was ever going to feel normal again.

'I don't know if what I'm seeing is real any more,' he said quietly. 'Voldemort is making me feel like I'm beginning to loose it.'

'The Occlumency will help - '

'When I was trying to put up my shield,' Harry cut in, 'it was like there was something trying to tear it down again – it was really difficult to keep it in place. Snape said it was probably due to my head injury, or that my subconscious was trying to sabotage it, but that didn't sound right.'

'You're still drifting on occasion, Harry.' Remus said. 'I think Severus is probably right about this. It sounds like your head isn't fully healed yet - ' Harry went to cut him off but Remus raised his hands. 'I know you _feel_ fine, but the human mind is more complicated than that. The Occlumency will help with all the dreams. It's just going to take time.'

Remus cocked his head to one side, watching as Harry turned the flannel over in his hands.

'Why don't you get back to bed? You look exhausted.'

Remus was right, Harry felt completely drained what with everything that had happened within the last month. Harry blew out a breath and then clambered resignedly to his feet.

'You don't look too smart either, Remus,' he said with a grin. Remus smiled and gave him a playful a shove towards the door.

*** * ***

'You haven't been practising, Potter.' Snape said coldly, the next morning, and looming down upon him. Harry cocked an eyebrow disbelievingly.

'After everything that's happened?'

'That is no excuse for the Dark lord,' Snape said. 'It was evident that he had some control over you yesterday.'

'And that's my fault?' Harry snapped, remembering how awful that experience had been, feeling complete trapped within his own body. Of course, Dumbledore had been no help whatsoever. Remus had contacted him straight after the incident and Harry couldn't help feeling as though Dumbledore was keeping him in the dark about something. He seemed so unconcerned about the pain Harry had felt whilst the wards were falling, merely telling him to continue with the Occlumency lessons like nothing had happened. Even Remus was beginning to loose patience with him.

'If you had occluded your mind - '

'I couldn't!' Harry cried. 'My head was all over the place. I didn't have a clue what was going on. I couldn't even move!'

Snape glared at Harry and then sat back into his chair. 'Do not interrupt me, Potter,' he said, gripping the arms the arms of the chair until his fingers turned deathly white. Harry thought he looked even worse than he had when they'd met a few days previous. Snape closed his eyes briefly and Harry saw him blow out a slow breath. It was disconcerting to see Snape in this state...

It reminded Harry of the dream he'd had.

'Sir, if you'd rather leave it - '

'No, Potter, I would not rather '_leave it_' as you say. I happen to believe that Occlumency is of the upmost importance, even if you don't.'

'Even when you're in this state?' Harry snapped before he could stop himself. He drew back in his chair as he realised what he's said.

'Sorry, sir, I -'

'No,' Snape muttered, waving a hand dismissively. 'You are quite right. And it because of you, you ungrateful little brat, that I am in this state.'

Harry's eyes grew wide.

'What? - '

'I had to devise a fetching little story as to why your Aunt and Uncle were not at home when they should have been – and as to why the entire Order were waiting to ambush the Dark Lord when he arrived.'

'I didn't realise,' Harry said quietly.

'No, you didn't. I believe you were too busy having your own little drama in the kitchen.'

'It wasn't a drama,' Harry growled. 'I don't know what happened.'

'Hence why I am here once again,' Snape said. 'If you had Occluded then perhaps you wouldn't have suffered so much.'

'I told you - '

'And I told you, Potter, that I do not care for your excuses. Now, get up. Apparently we have much work to do.'

Harry got to his feet, battling between his hate for Snape and his guilt for not realising that he'd helped to save his Aunt and Uncle.

'Legilimens!'

Snape had raised his wand before Harry was even out of his chair. He was battered with an array of images, most of which were from yesterday; the pain and anguish he'd felt was brought vividly back to him. A flash of anger surged through him and, suddenly, Snape was shoved from his mind, sending the man wheeling backwards. He disappeared with a snap and was now gazing at him curiously, one eyebrow raised.

'What?' Harry snapped.

'That was a usually strong extraction,' Snape muttered.

'So? I didn't want you seeing that stuff.'

Snape didn't answer. He continued to stare for a few more seconds until he collected himself and raised his wand again.

'Legilimens!' he cried again.

Harry's dream suddenly flashed into his mind. Snape slowed down as he rammed through the images, and seemingly intrigued, paused to watch this particular memory. Harry tried desperately to erect his shield of golden snitches. Snape pushed it aside easily, scattering them across the floors of his mind. Harry paused, waiting for how Snape was going to react. What could Harry say? If it were true, Snape would surely deny it. But if he accepted it, that would be even more absurd. Snape making promises to Lily? When he hated his father so much?

Suddenly his mother's loyalties seemed somewhat doubtful.

Snape pulled himself from Harry's mind and then turned to face the window, waiting for Harry to collect himself again.

'That was interesting,' he said passively.

'It was just a dream,' Harry said quickly.

'A dream that depicts a lot of my past,' Snape said quietly. 'Ah yes.' He turned back to Harry with what appeared to be a smile. 'You wouldn't realise that I knew your mother.'

'So it's true?' Harry asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

'The Dark Lord showed you that himself, it is therefore quite accurate.'

'You're going to tell me, if I had Occluded then I wouldn't have seen it.'

Snape was thoughtful for a few moments, fingering his wand absently. 'No,' he said. 'I believe that the Dark Lord would have showed you that, no matter what.'

'Why?' Harry asked.

'If you cannot work it out for yourself... ' Snape muttered angrily. 'Because he is trying to dislodge trust within the Order. Naturally, if you were to find out I was making promises to your mother, you are going to be suspicious.'

Harry smiled lightly. 'No offence Sir, but I'm always suspicious of you.'

Snape quirked his lip slightly.

'However,' he went on, 'I believe the Dark Lord expected you to impart this information upon another?'

'Remus,' Harry told him.

Snape inclined his head. 'And so the Chinese whispers begin.'

'But Remus didn't believe it,' Harry interjected. 'He said that Voldemort was probably trying to mess with my head. Even you told me not to trust anything in my mind.'

'Like I said, he was attempting to dislodge trust, this would have been a special occasion. He clearly suspects...'

Harry swallowed thickly. 'Do you think it was because you helped me after the train crash?'

Snape gave a weary sigh. 'Believe it or not, Potter, the whole world does not revolve around you,' he said with an icy tone. 'I think he must have suspected for some time.'

'So,' Harry said slowly. 'You did make a promise to my mother?'

Snape looked down his nose at him, his eyes almost twinkled in the light.

'I did.'

Harry waited for him to elaborate.

'What was it?

'I believe, that you will find out in due course,' Snape said coldly.

'And what are you going to do about Voldemort? If he knows you're a spy - '

'He does not know,' Snape snapped. 'He suspects.'

'Yeah but if he suspects - '

'I am a spy, Potter. It is my job and my duty to return to him.'

'Not if you don't want to,' Harry said angrily. 'You're risking your life!'

'As I have done for many years! I do not need you to tell me how to be careful!'

They stared at each other in a tense silence for a few moments. Snape's face was stark white and he was gripping at the window sill as though his life depended on it.

'He'll kill you,' Harry told him when Snape had steadied himself enough to let go. He turned to Harry wearily.

'I can think of worse ways to die.'

'How can you think like that?' Harry said.

Snape began gathering his cloak in his arms. He showed absolutely no expression as he said, 'Because I have to,' and then he swept from the room.

Harry stared out the door after him, shocked at just how much Snape had revealed about himself in that tiny sentence. Perhaps Voldemort's endless torture was giving him some sense of reality, making him question his mortality. Harry knew he was beginning to question Snape's sanity...after all, he'd almost been civil to him.

'Be here same time on Monday, Potter, I have an interesting stinging hex to try out if you swan in late again.'

Harry sighed.

Almost.


	11. Evasion

**Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! I certainly did, though I swear I'm about a thousand pounds heavier!  
>I was going to wait until after new year to post this, but I just couldn't help myself! So here is chapter eleven.<br>This chapter has always annoyed me. I could never decide wether Ron was totally out of character at the end of this chapter, perhaps you guys could let me know.  
>Anywho, hope you guys enjoy, and tell me what you think!<br>(And have a great new year!)  
><strong>

**Chapter eleven**

_Evasion_

Harry sat glumly at the kitchen table, unconsciously stirring his cereal. His head was a complete jumble of thoughts. His conversation with Snape the previous day had really turned things upside down. The man readily admitted that he had made a promise to his mother. But what promise? And why was he reluctant to tell him?

Why was he prepared to let Voldemort show Harry a twisted version of the truth? Harry swallowed thickly. If Voldemort was prepared to plant dreams inside his head to disband the Order, what else would he do.

Stupid question, Harry told himself. Voldemort would do anything to destroy the Order and apparently was quite happy to use him to do it.

The fireplace suddenly roared to life, Harry dropped his spoon in fright and it clattered across the table.

'Alright mate?' Ron's voice said cheerfully.

Harry raised an eyebrow, pushing himself off his chair to peer across the table. 'I don't think you've got your head in all the way,' he said with a laugh. 'I can only see your hair.'

'Hang on a minute,' Ron mumbled, shifting ash and coal until his face eventually appeared, grinning foolishly.

'How're you doing?' he said happily.

'Great,' Harry replied, getting up and walking to the fireplace, kneeling in front of it.

'What happened to you lot?' he asked. 'I wake up one morning to find you and Hermione have left. I haven't heard anything from you.'

Ron shifted uncomfortably. 'Sorry about that,' he said, lowering his voice. 'You know we had a visit from Aunt Muriel, right? Well, she's decided to stay!'

Harry couldn't help but laugh at Ron's horrified expression.

'How long is she staying for?' Harry said, sympathetically.

'She said indefinitely!' Ron whispered. 'Mum is going out of her mind. The twins have tried every prank they can think of, but she's staying put.'

'So that's why you haven't been in touch?'

'Seriously, Harry, I haven't stopped for the past three days. She's had me cleaning, sewing, I even had to rub her feet! Ginny and Hermione have managed to cast disillusionment charms on themselves to avoid her, but they won't tell us how to do them.'

Harry laughed. 'Sorry Ron, I haven't got a clue how to do one either. But I'm sure she won't stay for long. You'll be fine.'

'I will be when you get here.'

Harry sat up straight, frowning.

'Huh?'

'Mum said you can come round and play Quidditch! If you can get someone to apparate you here.'

'Brilliant!' Harry said, feeling happier then he had done in days. But then his stomach sunk and the happiness faded as quickly as it had come.

'I thought you'd be pleased,' Ron said, looking disappointed.

'I am,' Harry insisted. 'It's just – there's no way I'll be allowed. Remus won't let me.'

'What wont I let you do?' a voice said from the doorway. Harry and Ron jumped. Ron inhaled a mouthful of ash and began spluttering, Harry scrambled to his feet; both looked as though they'd been caught doing something they shouldn't. Remus was leant against the door frame, his arms crossed and an amused expression on his face.

'Ron wants to know if I can go over and play Quidditch,' Harry said quietly, thinking how awfully childish he sounded.

Remus furrowed his brow. 'I don't know, Harry,' he said uncertainly. 'Poppy will kill me if you hit your head again.'

'You can stick him to his broom,' Ron called from the fireplace, between hacking coughs.

'I don't think it's a good idea...'

'Please, Remus,' Harry said. 'I'm suffocating in here.'

Remus sighed heavily and was thoughtful for a few moments. 'You promise to let me stick you to the broom?' he said firmly. Harry nodded eagerly, a smile spreading on his face. 'And, not to try any death defying stunts?'

'Yes, I promise.'

'And you charm something soft to use as bludgers.'

'You're letting me go?' Harry said. Remus nodded, looking as though he were doing this against his better judgment.

'If you stick to all those things, then yes. I'll come with you – I need to speak with Arthur anyway.'

'Brilliant!' Harry cried. He said goodbye to Ron in the fireplace and then rushed upstairs to find his broom.

'How has your head been?' Remus asked him as Harry raced back downstairs with his broom tucked firmly under his arm and his jacket slung over his shoulder.

'Actually, It's been fine,' he said. 'I haven't felt myself drifting since Voldemort attacked the Durselys. Maybe it was so bad then because it was the last time...' Harry offered.

Remus smiled slightly. 'Maybe. Now we just have those dreams to sort.'

Harry grinned again. 'I haven't had one of those either. Maybe my head is finally starting to pull itself together...Oh!'

'What?' Remus asked hurriedly.

'I spoke to Snape yesterday...he saw the dream I had about him in Occlumency.'

'And?'

'He said it was all true.'

Remus instructed Harry to grasp his arm tightly, then warned them him that apparition wasn't going to be a pleasant experience.

He was right. It felt as though Harry had been sucked down tiny tube, compressed and squashed and all the air forced out of his lungs. When he dared to open his eyes again, they were a few meters away from where the wards begun on the Burrow. His head still spinning, Harry recounted everything that had happened with Snape.

'He said that Voldemort must suspect him,' Harry said.

'That doesn't sound very good for Severus,' Remus said.

'That's what I told him. But more importantly, what promise did he make to my mum?'

'He wouldn't tell you?'

Harry shook his head. 'He said that Voldemort would show me in time... Do you think we should tell Dumbledore?' he asked.

'I believe Severus would have already spoken with him,' Remus said. 'You were right, it sounds as though Voldemort is trying to prove Snape is untrustworthy.'

'He's trying to break up the Order,' Harry added. 'It seems like a desperate measure though – if he doesn't trust Snape anymore, why not just kill him?' His stomach twinged slightly as he spoke.

'He must believe that he will succeed in disbanding the Order, otherwise he wouldn't waste his time,' Remus said. 'Perhaps he thought you'd be angry about it...'

Harry looked sideways at Remus. 'Angry? Why would I be angry?'

'Because your mother had her secrets,' he said with a shrug. 'Ones that she was keeping from James by the sounds of it.'

Harry shook his head. 'I'm more intrigued than anything. I think it's weird that my mother and Snape even spoke to each other, let alone had secrets.'

They walked the rest of the way in companionable silence, both of them lost in thought. Harry hadn't realised just how much he'd missed being outside; he felt his broom throb in his hand, apparently it was also keen to get up in the air.

'Harry!' a voice cried, and then an unseen figure came bundling towards him, pulling him into a tight hug.

'Hermione?' he asked, assuming she was still wearing her charm. 'Where are you?' he said, laughing.

'Oh, sorry!' she said, and a moment later she appeared in front of him, smiling brightly.

'How've you been?' she asked, looking him over carefully. She looked scarily like Madam Pomfrey in that moment.

'Better,' he said. 'On the road to recovery.'

Hermione nodded and glanced towards Remus, still looking doubtful. 'Is this such a good idea? Is he healed enough to be flying?'

'Hermione!' Harry moaned. 'You've been staying with Mrs Weasley too long.'

'I'm just worried,' she said quietly.

'Don't worry, Hermione,' Remus said,' he had to comply with a few rules before I let him come.'

Hermione nodded, apparently satisfied and led them around to the garden where the rest of the Weasleys were waiting. Ron and the twins ran forward to greet him. Bill and Charlie were in a heated discussion with Mr Weasley, and Mrs Weasley was stood in the doorway, frowning heavily. She called them over, hugged them tightly and then said, 'Are you sure you should be flying, Harry? What if you fall?'

Harry stifled the urge to roll his eyes. 'When have I ever fallen off a broom?' he said, with a cheeky grin.

'First, second and third year,' Ron reminded him.

'Yes, thank you Ron,' Harry said, glaring at him.

Once everyone was set, they quickly formatted teams and rules. On one team, they pitched Harry, Ginny, Bill and Fred. On the other were Mr Weasley, George, Charlie and Ron. Remus conjured three chairs for Mrs Weasley, Hermione and himself, not before calling Harry over to him as the others were getting ready to start.

'I know you don't want to hear it,' Remus said with a slight smile as he applied thorough sticking charms to Harry's broom, 'but don't do any hair raising stunts today. Your health is more important that a Quidditch match. A friendly Quidditch match at that.'

Harry nodded along, though he had no intention of taking it easy. He had a lifetime Quidditch ban still in place from Umbridge and he wasn't going to waste the first opportunity he had to fly.

Once satisfied that there was no way Harry was going to be able to fall off his broom, Remus gave him a playful shove and watched as Harry kicked off from the ground and soared into the sky.

The wind whipped around him as he ducked and dived majestically on his broom. Remus looked on nervously from the ground, squinting slightly through the sunlight. He couldn't understand how they could play with the sun glaring through the trees at them. It didn't appear to be deterring either team though, as even Mr Weasley was shooting down their makeshift pitch towards the goal. Remus glanced sideways at Mrs Weasley, who was asleep in her chair, and Hermione who now had her head buried in a defence book, her eyes flicking rapidly across the page.

A loud cheer brought his attention back to the sky. Harry's team was celebrating as Ginny out maneuvered Ron and Charlie and scored with a triumphant grin. Harry swerved his broom around to high five her, as Ron was bellowing at Charlie to 'work on his defence'. Charlie and George took delight in hoisting Ron off his broom and dangling him in mid air for a few moments – until Mr Weasley caught sight of them.

'Gits!' Ron called, red faced and wind swept as he settled himself back on his broom and moved to mark the goalposts again. Harry kept his eyes peeled as he glared around the field, looking for a glimpse of the golf ball they had charmed to act as the snitch. He was in his element up in the air, nobody could argue with that. The broom moved naturally with him; steering and turning was effortless, as was the way he pulled out of a slightly risky dive, Remus noted with growing anxiety. For the first time in days, a genuine smile was gracing Harry's face. He was laughing, completely carefree. There was no Voldemort, no crushing pain and guilt of loosing Sirius, just the wind and the feel of the broom against his body.

Suddenly, Harry saw something glimmering by the trees. The sponges they'd charmed as bludgers both swept over him and Harry noticed that Ron was also soaring in that direction, face set with determination. Harry pressed his body flat against the broom and sped off after him. With the faster broom and more skill to his name, Harry passed Ron easily, sweeping into a high loop to signify his upcoming defeat. Ron's face was red, his jaw tense and he reached out to grab the end of Harry's broom.

'Hey!' Harry cried. 'Resorting to cheating now are we?' he said, laughing and he pulled his broom away easily. He turned his head to the trees and there it was. The 'Snitch' was hovering in the clearing of the dense forest, flitting around like a fly and buzzing with excitement. Harry reached out an arm to grab it, but Ron knocked him sideways. Harry barged him back. Suddenly, before they noticed, the trees were upon them. Harry pulled his broom up, trying to pull himself to a stop. Ron imitated, but his broom was much slower, age having taken its toll.

'Ron!' Harry cried, watching with wide eyes as Ron slammed straight into a tree trunk and went spiraling to the ground. In a moment, the entire Weasley family was on the ground beside him, helping him to his feet and brushing him off. Harry landed quickly, stumbling forward with haste and almost colliding with Hermione. She took his arm gently and with that contact, the white fog descended over him, swallowing him and with it came the most obscure feeling of happiness. Everything was right, everything was going to plan. It was only for a moment but he came back to focus scowling darkly. He'd thought those brief moments of unawareness had stopped after the attack on the Dursleys. Apparently not.

What?' Harry asked, noticing that everybody was staring at him, with the exception of Ron who was positively glaring.

Hermione was looking at Harry as though he'd just slapped her. Remus' eyebrows were raised and the rest of the Weasley family filtered into an uneasy silence.

'I can't believe you just said that,' Ron snarled, starting forward. Harry looked to Remus for help.

'What?' he said again, completely confused.

'Ron, I don't think Harry realised what he was saying,' Remus said, eyeing the two boys warily.

'How can he not realise,' Ron said sarcastically, drawing closer.

'Ron, leave it,' Hermione said quietly.

'Did you hear what he called you?'

'He's still not well, he didn't mean it.'

'I don't even know what I said!' Harry cried, stepping away from Ron.

'You called her a filthy mudblood,' Ron spat. Harry's eyed widened in shock. 'You said she wasn't _worthy_ to touch you!'

'Hermione I would never! I don't - '

'I know, Harry,' Hermione said with a gentle smile. 'I know you didn't mean it.'

Harry shook his head, wanting them to understand. 'No, I didn't say it! I mean, I wouldn't have said it!'

'Then why did you?' Ron said coolly. 'Your head injury can't be so bad that you don't even know what you're saying anymore? Maybe you're just using it as an excuse, trying to get even more attention you don't deserve!'

'What, so you can get the glory _you_ don't deserve!' Harry snapped.

Before Harry even realised what he'd said, Ron had launched his fist towards Harry's face. His knuckles collided with his jaw, sending Harry sprawling backwards onto the grass, his head spinning. He watched dizzyingly as Hermione screamed furiously at Ron, and Fred and George flung themselves on their brother, trying to restrain his arms.

Filled with a burning anger, Harry leapt unsteadily to his feet and ran toward Ron, determined to get a shot in. He wasn't going to let him humiliate him like that. 7

Remus hurried towards him, blocking his path.

'Leave it, Harry,' he said sternly. 'Ron just got a little overheated, that's all.'

'He hit me!' Harry cried, trying to dodge past Remus. 'He had no right!'

Remus grabbed Harry around the arms, struggling to hold him back, as the twins were still furiously trying to keep Ron under control.

'Enough!' Mr Weasley said, stepping forward. Everyone silenced immediately. 'Ron, inside now.'

With one last furious scowl at Harry, Ron allowed the twins to drag him inside, accompanied by Mrs Weasley who looked as though she was about to explode. Bill and Charlie went about packing away the makeshift Quidditch pitch and Remus released Harry's arms, giving him a gentle pat on the shoulder.

'They don't know you almost died,' Remus told him quietly once they were alone.

'Sorry?'

'They know you were unconscious, but they don't know the extent of your injuries.'

'Why didn't you tell them?' Harry asked.

'Dumbledore didn't think it was wise,' Remus said. 'All Ron and Hermione know is you were unconscious for that one week and that on occasion your head still bothers you. Remember, they don't even know about the dreams you've been having. It's very hard to make a judgment of the way a person acts when you only have half a theory as to why they're acting that way.

'Did I actually call Hermione that?' Harry asked.

Remus nodded. 'Yes. But.. '

Harry's chest tightened.

'But what?'

Remus shook his head. 'Never mind, let's get inside and see if we can get this settled.'


	12. Two faces

**Hey! I hope everyone had a really good new year. All the Christmas decs are down :( It's almost like it never happened! But nevermind, here's to 2012. Let's hope it's a slightly better year than 2011.  
>And here is chapter twelve!<br>I really liked writing this chapter for some reason. And if you guys like seeing Harry beat up, just wait until the next chapter!  
>Hope you enjoy.<strong>

**Chapter twelve**

_Two faces_

The next week passed in an odd blur of numbness for Harry. His fight with Ron, though resolved, still meant that they weren't really speaking to each other. Whenever the Weasleys came round for dinner, Hermione sat in-between them and did most of the speaking, trying desperately to keep the conversation flowing naturally. Fred and George tried to explain to Harry that Ron was just being a git and that it would pass sooner or later, but Harry couldn't help thinking it was more than that. Back at the Burrow, Remus had dragged Ron into a room for a private conversation; Harry wasn't sure whether Remus was telling him what had happened, about the dreams or the extent of his head injury, but when Ron came out he was looking pretty sorry for himself. And now, whenever he caught Harry's eye or even looked at him, there was a hint of something behind his eyes. It took Harry a while to work out what it was, but Ron almost looked scared. Scared of being around Harry, scared _of_ Harry.

Occlumency lessons had continued without much success. But instead of Snape yelling and screaming at him, which was what Harry had predicted, he seemed passive and was almost civil during lessons. Each time he entered his mind, Harry would try desperately to erect his shield but every time there was something there, something stronger trying to pull it down. At first, they attributed this to his head injury, but as the lessons continued, even Snape wasn't sure any longer. It was because of this, that he was stood at the bottom of the spiraling staircase leading up to Dumbledore's office on the eve of Harry's birthday. He stared at the ugly stone gargoyle protecting the stairs. He was only pausing for a moment, knowing the journey up the winding staircase would bring him severe pain. His limbs felt as though they were on fire and even though he was still, pain still radiated through his body as though he'd just been thrown into a vat of acid. Taking a deep breath, he ascended the stairs, wishing with every step that Voldemort might be more lenient with him that evening. Even the other Death Eaters couldn't explain the sudden change in Voldemort's treatment towards Snape. To be held in such high regard one moment, and to be trembling at the feet of the Dark lord the next was a complete mystery to them. Not that the likes of Lucius Malfoy were sympathetic, they were just relieved to have to pressure taken of them... for now anyway.

'Enter,' Dumbledore called, before Snape had even touched the door. Irritably, Snape pushed the door open, coming face to face with Dumbledore who had clearly crossed the room in record time.

'Quickly, Severus, there is much to discuss.'

Dumbledore almost pulled him inside, much to Snapes distress (not to mention added pain) and closed the door behind them.

'Have you spoken to the boy?' Snape asked him, settling himself awkwardly on a chair beside Dumbledore's desk.

'I have...deterred him, for now,' Dumbledore said, uncharacteristically flustered as he began pacing the length of the room.

'He is still unaware?' Snape asked.

'For the moment. But it is only a matter of time.'

'The Occlumency will not help,' Snape said; he already knew this of course.

Dumbledore stopped pacing beside the window and stared out into the grounds. Snape could almost hear the cogs whirring in his head.

'Tom is already, and has been for a while, inside his head. The dreams he was shown of you, Severus, Voldemort need not implant them in Harry's mind for he was already there. The Occlumency does not work because he is now a part of him – according to Harry's mind, there is nothing to block out.'

'Then why do we continue with the lessons?' Snape asked.

'Because we must, Severus,' Dumbledore told him. 'Because we must keep up pretences, for Harry's sake.'

'And when the Dark Lord discovers the connection – what then?'

'I fear he already knows,' Dumbledore said. 'After the attack on Privet Drive, Tom realised Harry's vulnerability. He could feel it.'

'He was possessed?' Snape asked, feeling a chill in his chest.

'Not as such. Tom was merely...testing the boundaries.'

'You have a theory, I presume, as to how the Dark Lord came to be in his mind? How he will, in the future, be able to possess the boy fully?'

Dumbledore was nodding again, but he had still not turned away from the window. 'I have an idea, yes.'

'Are you going to enlighten me?' Snape asked.

'No,' Dumbledore said quickly. 'Only because I cannot. You must keep up Occlumency with Harry, and now Voldemort is inside his head he will be able to see his memories. If he finds out how he came to be inside Harry's mind, then I fear the worst... It is _fundamental_ that Harry is not aware of his presence.'

'He will be able to see his memories,' Snape repeated, now seeing what Dumbledore had been trying to tell him. 'My position within his inner circle has been jeopardized. Because of the boy?'

'I am sorry for this, Severus. It was something neither of us were able to imagine and the reason in which Tom has been unlawfully harsh with you of late.'

'I am of no use to you now,' Snape said, his eyes dark.

'Of course you are of use to us, Severus,' Dumbledore said, finally turning away from the window. 'You have a choice, as you have chosen in the past to spy for us, you can choose to join us, to fight with us. I will not, if you chose otherwise, hold you in contempt for it.'

Snape regarded Dumbledore for a few moments.

'What else do you suggest I do?'

'I regret that is a decision I cannot help you with,' Dumbledore said. 'Your life is your own now. Do with it as you will.'

* * *

><p>Harry awoke that morning with the oddest feeling that he'd forgotten something important. The house was silent again, so he assumed everyone was out and busy as per usual, but there was still a nagging feeling at the back of his mind...<p>

He washed and dressed at leisure and then decided to explore upstairs. He hadn't really had a chance to, considering everything that was going on. He was halfway up the stairs when two figures suddenly leapt out in front of him, yelling and waving their hands.

'HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY!'

'Fred? George?' Harry stuttered, completely confused. 'Oh my god, I forgot it was my birthday!' he said, laughing.

The twins exchanged dark looks and then grabbed Harry by the shoulders, steering him back down the stairs.

'Forgot your own birthday?' Fred said.

'That's worrisome, mate,' George added.

'Really worrisome,' they chimed together.

'What are you guys doing here anyway?' Harry asked.

They both took turns to whack him upside the head. 'Because it's your birthday!' they cried.

'You didn't expect to sit in all day by yourself, did you?' Fred said.

'Everyone is downstairs!' George added as they tugged Harry the last few steps and into the kitchen.

'HAPPY BIRTHDAY!' chorused at him from the group of cheerful looking people standing in the kitchen. Harry felt his face light up as he saw the Weasleys (even Ron had a small smile) Hermione and most of the Order surrounding the table.

'Get this everyone,' the twins called, demanding their attention. 'He forgot it was his birthday!'

The room of people laughed and Harry was patted on the back, hugged and then forced in to a seat to begin unwrapping his gifts. There was quite a sizeable collection this year, he noticed guiltily wishing people hadn't gone through the trouble. Remus seemed to read his mind as he leant in so only Harry would hear.

'They wanted to do this,' Remus told him. '_For _you, not because they feel sorry for you.'

Harry looked sideways at him and smiled. 'Thanks,' he said.

Remus patted him swiftly on the back and then quickly vacated the seat so Hermione could bundle in beside him. The next hour or so was spent unwrapping presents and eating possibly the biggest breakfast Mrs Weasley had ever cooked. Tonks had tried desperately to help, but had ended up covered in flour, and spilling platters of bacon onto the floor. Harry couldn't help but notice how Remus was smiling at her and he felt a grin spread onto his face. He'd have to corner Remus about that later...

'Harry?'

Harry turned his head and found Ginny stood beside him. She was looking down at him and Harry noticed, with a flutter in his chest, that she suddenly looked much older than she had done in the past. Her hair was cascading down her shoulders in loose curls, her face had lost the childish innocence it had when he'd known her in second year, and the dress she was wearing accentuated her slim figure. Harry felt himself blush, thinking of Ron's sister this way and he could have sworn he felt Remus laughing at him from across the table.

'Can I have a word?' she asked, holding out her hand for him to take it.

Harry faltered for a few moments, before nodding and getting clumsily to his feet. The room was still talking, nobody seemed to notice as they slipped from the room. Apart from Ron, who was now scowling out the room after them and Hermione who hit him across the arm and told him to behave.

They entered the living room, Harry trailing Ginny and feeling awfully nervous. His stomach was doing back flips, his heart was going mad. The prospect of being alone with her made his head reel and sent sensations to other parts of his body. He tried desperately to concentrate on what she was going to say to him. It may be completely innocent after all.'

'Ron's just being a git, you know that right?' she said.

Harry felt his stomach sink. Of course it would have been about Ron, what else would it have been about.

'Yeah I know,' Harry said, trying to keep the tone of disappointment from his voice.

'I was really ashamed of how he behaved the other week. He had no right to hit you.'

Harry nodded. 'Well, what I said was unacceptable.'

'That's the thing,' Ginny said quietly. 'I know you'd never say anything like that. And when you said it...it didn't even sound like you. It was like someone was saying it _for _you.'

'I don't even remember saying it.'

'I know,' Ginny said. 'I know you're still recovering but... I can't help feeling there's something more.'

Harry raised an eyebrow. 'What do you mean?'

'There's still something not quite right about you, since you hit your head. I can't put my finger on what it is.'

Harry shrugged, unsure what to say. He didn't really want to tell her about his dreams, the last thing he wanted was to freak her out.

'You know you can trust me, Harry,' she said. 'If you can't talk to Ron because he's an idiot, there's always Hermione. I know she's like a sister to you...'

'And what about you?' Harry said, almost stumbling over the words as they rushed from his mouth. He hadn't meant to say that at all, the thought had just come charging through as though it were taking charge of the conversation now.

Ginny smiled, stepping forwards towards him. 'I'll always be here to talk to,' she said.

Harry's stomach gave a funny twinge. He opened his mouth to say something but shut it again quickly. Was talking to girls always this difficult?

'That's not what I meant,' he managed to say eventually.

Ginny laughed lightly, Harry's stomach leapt again at the sound she made. It was almost as beautiful as her.

'I know,' she said.

And before Harry knew it, she was in his arms and he was holding her tightly wishing never to let go. Her lips were soft and warm against his and all suddenly felt right in the world. This was where he was supposed to be, and this was who he was supposed to be with. How something could feel so right, even though it was so new.

'Harry – oh, sorry.'

They broke apart quickly, both blushing furiously. Tonks was stood in the doorway, trying frantically to suppress her smile, and failing disastrously.

'Uh, they're going to do the cake now...'

Harry nodded, his cheeks flaming. 'Right, uh, okay. We're coming.'

Tonks turned from the doorway and headed back towards the kitchen. Harry looked around at Ginny who was still grinning and she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before practically bouncing from the room.

'So,' Remus said as they were clearing away the kitchen later that evening. 'Did you enjoy yourself?'

Harry turned to look at him with a frown; there was something odd in his voice.

'Yes,' Harry said uncertainly. 'It was great fun.'

Remus was nodding. 'Yes, you looked as though you had a good time.'

Harry was thankful the house was empty, otherwise he was sure everyone in the room would have seen his face turn red. He lowered his head, busying himself with piling plates.

'So, what did Ginny want to talk about?' Remus asked. Harry could hear the laugh in his voice and he put down the plates to face him.

'You _know_?' Harry said, feeling mortified.

Remus burst out laughing. 'It wasn't hard to tell,' he said, grinning. 'Plus, Tonks gave me a heads up.'

'Well,' Harry said, folding his arms. 'If we're getting into this, you aren't so innocent yourself.'

Remus immediately picked up another plate. 'Sorry?' he said.

'I see the way you and Tonks behave around each other,' Harry said. 'Little looks here, blushing there, accidental bumps and knocking into each other.'

'I don't know what you mean,' Remus said.

Harry laughed aloud. 'You are like children,' he said. '_I _think, Remus Lupin may be slightly in love with Nymphadora Tonks.'

Remus turned and launched a dishtowel towards Harry's head. Harry ducked, laughing harder at his embarrassed expression.

'Not a word, Harry,' he said, pointing a stern finger towards him. Harry nodded innocently. 'I mean it,' Remus said. 'This isn't some silly, schoolboy crush.'

'Hey!' Harry said indignantly. 'Neither is mine.'

'And how would you appreciate it if I ran off to Ginny and told her that you loved her?'

Harry grinned again and threw the dishtowel back, laughing as it hit Remus in the face. 'There is no problem there, because I am going to tell her myself.' He piled the plates onto the side beside the sink. 'And I think you should do the same,' he finished with a triumphant smile. 'I mean with Tonks...not with Ginny...'

Remus laughed and swatted him with the towel.

'I got what you meant,' he said.

Harry nodded happily and almost skipped towards the door. He faltered in the doorway and turned back to face Remus who was still clearing plates.

'Remus?' he said quietly.

'Hmm?' the older man said, looking around.

'Uh, I just wanted to say thank you... you know for everything you've done,' Harry said awkwardly. 'I don't think – well, you've kind of been my saving grace in this whole thing...so, uh, thanks.'

Remus smiled gently.

'You're not going to tell me you love me, are you?' he said.

Harry laughed. 'In your dreams.'

'Everyone needs someone they can depend upon,' Remus said, levitating plates into the cupboard.

Harry nodded. 'Right. G'night Remus.'

'Night, Harry.


	13. Birthday blues

**Here's chapter thirteen!  
>Things start to get exciting from here on out! (or at least I think so)<br>Hope you guys keep reading!  
>Leave a review and let me know what you think.<br>Enjoy!**

**Chapter thirteen**

_Birthday blues_

Harry's eyes snapped open and he knew immediately something wasn't right. A cold wind was blowing, freezing him to the bone. He wasn't where he should be... he wasn't lying in bed, dreaming, like he should have been. Harry squinted through the darkness and with a jolt of panic he realised he wasn't even inside the house...

He was across the street, in the park he'd longed to visit since his arrival.

'What-?'

An insistent drum beat was pounding inside his head. It felt as though the ground were vibrating with him. He closed his eyes and cradled his head in his heads; something wet and cold smeared over his face. Recoiling, Harry realised his hands were wet – dripping almost. He tugged at his shirt, it was damp also, sticking to his chest and shoulders. He looked down and his breath caught in his chest.

His hands, his shirt, even his legs, were covered in blood, thick and oozing and still fresh...

Harry swallowed thickly, panic bubbled in his chest, his heart thrummed anxiously against his ribs.

What had happened? More importantly, whose blood was it coating his hands? Something was shouting at him, screaming at him, to run, to get as far away as possible. Fear distorted his usual rational thinking and Harry turned his back and pelted towards the house. He felt his anxiety begin to consume him, he tried to drag in a breath but his lungs didn't want to oblige. Harry inwardly berated himself – why was he being so useless? Usually in the face of danger, something pulled him through, something made him focus and ready to face the challenge. Perhaps it was because Harry had no idea what this challenge was that he was slowly beginning to loose his control. He stumbled across the grass, pelting to the gate leading into the street. He pulled on it fiercely, realising with another jolt of dread that it was locked. Not wasting a second he leapt up, grabbing hold and with sweaty hands, he scaled the fence, not caring whether he was ambushed by the park warden; he just needed to get inside, he needed to be somewhere safe. His legs kept moving almost against his will as he clambered over and he fell to the ground the other side with a crack. He could hear his harsh breaths echoing around the deserted street; as his feet slapped against the concrete he wondered what had happened to his shoes. His feet were encrusted with dirt, stained by the grass and smeared with that awful redness.

He barreled into the door and began pounding with his fists. His head began to swim and his panic momentarily overwhelmed him – '_Remus_!' he cried, before he could stop himself.

The front door burst open and with one hand still on the handle, Remus appeared, looking thoroughly shocked. Harry didn't even notice; his eyes began to burn and he screwed up his face as the adrenaline in his body left as quickly as it had arrived; he felt utterly drained. Remus simply stared at Harry for a few moments before falling into action. He launched forwards, grabbing Harry by the arms just as his legs begun to give way. Slamming the door shut, he grabbed Harry under the knees and pulled him up into his arms – Harry fell back easily, his face abnormally pale and glimmering with sweat. Quickly, with a racing heart, Remus carried him to the kitchen, laying him down on the table.

He tapped Harry hard on the face; his head rolled around sickeningly and he gave a quiet, pitiful moan.

Remus clenched his jaw and ran to the fireplace. Grabbing a fistful of floo powder, he threw it into the grate and cried, 'Severus, I need your help!' before hurrying back to the table.

Remus' gut clenched as he looked at the state the boy was in. He was covered in blood, almost from head to toe. It had begun to crust around his eyebrows and lips, and an ugly bruise was forming around one eye. His shirt was sodden, almost completely stained red with fresh blood that was still seeping through.

Just as Remus was wishing that Snape would hurry up, the fire roared and the potions master himself stepped through, a collection of bottles in his hands. He paused for a moment, eyebrows raised and then marched forward, almost barging Remus out of the way.

'Give him this,' Snape said, handing Remus a vial of strange blue liquid. Remus didn't question him, he just tiled Harry's head forwards and pressed the bottle to his lips. A few seconds later, colour started to return to his face and Remus breathed a sigh of relief.  
>Slowly, Harry opened his eyes and looked around groggily.<p>

'Well, Potter, you've certainly had a job done on you,' Snape said, although there was no sneer in his voice. He sounded almost impressed.

Remus glared at him before turning his attention back to Harry. 'Harry, what on earth happened?'

Harry winced as he tried to sit up; as he lifted his arm to move more blood oozed through his shirt by his shoulder.

'Take off your shirt, Potter.'

With a little help from Remus, Harry tugged the shirt over his head, bundling it at his feet. Snape's eyebrows rose higher, Remus was frowning so hard it looked painful.

'We need to get Poppy,' he said anxiously.

Harry glanced down – his shoulder and chest were covered in bloody lacerations, some of which were painfully deep. As he looked at them, the pain began to weave its way through his body. It was hot and sticky and felt as though someone had just ironed his skin.

'C-can't _you_ heal them?' Harry asked, his voice wavering. He screwed up his face against the pain.

Remus exchanged a glance with Snape. 'Not as well as Poppy could,' he said.

'Can you try? Please?'

Remus faltered for a few moments.

'Will you tell me what happened? Who did this to you?'

'I can't - '

Remus raised an eyebrow. 'Can't or won't?'

'I _can't_ – Remus I have no idea what happened.'

Remus looked at him skeptically. 'You mean you don't know who did this?'

'Perhaps,' Snape cut in, stepping forward, 'we should stop Potter bleeding to death before we interrogate him.'

'I can't heal these half as well as you can, Severus,' Remus said, getting to his feet and taking a chair opposite Harry. Snape gave a curt nod and pulled out his wand.

'Stay still, Potter,' he commanded. He raised his hand, muttering rapidly under his breath as he traced the tip across each cut. Harry watched in morbid fascination as the skin seemed to knit itself back together. After a few minutes of silence, even Snape couldn't hold his curiosity any longer.

'How did you get yourself into this mess?' he said, frowning as he traced a particularly large cut back together. Harry gritted his teeth, wincing with pain.

'I have no idea – I don't remember... one minute I was asleep in bed and the next I was outside in the park, looking like this.

'You need not cover up for anybody, Potter.'

'I'm not!' Harry insisted, wincing again. 'I don't understand, how can I not remember? Surely I'd remember being attacked? _Ouch_!'

'Stay still then,' Snape muttered.

There was silence for a few seconds before Harry said, 'It was another one of those dreams. I'm sure of it.'

Snape looked as Remus and Harry exchanged glances.

'Does someone wish to enlighten me on these dreams?' Snape said, standing up and brushing off his robes.

'They're not really dreams,' Harry said. 'I mean, I _think _I'm dreaming only, when I wake up I can be out of bed, or halfway down the stairs. But this is the furthest I've ever gone. I don't even know how I got out the house...'

'And you cannot remember anything?' Snape questioned. Harry shook his head.

'Not a thing.'

'I don't know what you could have possibly done to get yourself in this mess,' Remus said quietly.

'Or perhaps, he did not do anything. Perhaps he was attacked.' Snape suggested. 'It is obvious most of these cuts were created by magic.'

'But surely, if someone did this to him, they'd want him to remember it.' Remus said, looking at Snape uncertainly. 'It looks almost like...torture. Nobody gets cuts that large from a duel.'

Snape regarded him for a few moments. 'You have told Dumbledore, I presume?'

'Albus didn't tell you?' Remus asked, sounding surprised. 'It was one of the reasons Harry started Occlumency.'

Harry couldn't be bothered to sit and listen to them debate how he'd ended up beaten half to death. The steady pound was beginning to return to his head. He closed his eyes and ran a hand across his forehead. 'My head is killing me,' Harry mumbled.

'I'm not surprised, Potter,' Snape said, standing up and brushing off his robes. 'You face appears to have been used as a punching bag.'

'We need to tell Dumbledore about this,' Remus said.

Harry rolled his eyes. 'Yeah, because he's been so much help in the past. I have weird dreams, he tells me to do Occlumency. I have scar pains, he tells me to do Occlumency. It must be clear to him now that it doesn't work on me.'

Remus looked to Snape for reassurance on this subject. He gave a quick nod, as though it were causing him great pain to agree with Harry.

'It is true,' he told him. 'Potter is unable to hold up a shield. As much as I would like to blame it on his incompetence, it is clear that there is another source trying to stop him.'

'What could be trying to pull down his shield?'

Snape was silent for a few moments before all of a sudden, he grasped the skin on his forearm, wincing painfully. Silently, he swept towards the fireplace and with an explosion of green flames he was gone.

Harry looked up into Remus' lined face.

'There's something they're not telling us,' Harry said fiercely.

Remus turned to look at him.

'I think you might be right.'

Harry ran the cold water for several minutes before he wet his flannel under the faucet. He winced slightly as he lifted the cloth to his chest. The lacerations on his chest and shoulders still looked raw and inflamed. Snape's spell work had done a neat job of pulling the skin back together, but the pain had returned in full force, making every movement a chore. Gritting his teeth, he pushed the damp flannel against one of the larger marks just above his collarbone. Pain erupted through the wound making his head spin and he used a hand to steady himself on the sink. Frustration was bubbling in the pit of his stomach. He stared at himself in the mirror for a few moments, trying to calm himself. Snape was right. His face did look like he'd been used as a punching bag. How was he supposed to explain the bruises to people? Nobody would buy that he didn't have a clue what had happened. Dumbledore couldn't, or _wouldn't_ tell him what was going on. And if Snape wouldn't either, then he'd just have to find out for himself.

He eyed the scar on his forehead, then quickly brushed his hair across it. Reaching over to grab the flannel again, he pressed it firmly into the cut again. He resisted the urge to cry out and leant over the sink, breathing heavily. The pain brought welcome relief to the thoughts racing around in his mind, to his guilt for Sirius. Tears of pain slipped down his cheeks and he swiped at them angrily. What was a little pain? Compared with everything else he'd had to deal with, he shouldn't be crying over a few cuts on his body.

There was a gentle knock on the door. Harry didn't straighten up; he curled his hand around the flannel, now dotted with specs of blood.

'Harry?'

Harry closed his eyes wearily. He really didn't want Remus to see him in this state, but at the same time he couldn't find the will to send the man way.

'Can I come in?'

Harry kept his head down as the bathroom door creaked open. He squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to see the look on Remus' face. For a few moments there was silence, until a hand suddenly wrapped itself around his own. It gently peeled his fingers away from the flannel and then placed itself gently on Harry's shoulder.

'Look at me.'

Harry pulled his head up and slowly opened his eyes. Remus had bent down slightly to his level, his warm brown eyes showing nothing but concern. Harry felt his jaw begin to tremble, but kept it taught as he stared back at Lupin.

'What is happening to me?' Harry said quietly. He turned his head to look in the mirror once more, ashamed by the black and blue marks marring his face. He traced his finger along his cheek bone.

'We'll find out, Harry, I promise.'

Remus steered him towards the edge of the bath tub. Harry swallowed the lump in his throat.

'It was easier before,' he muttered, blinking back tears. 'I'd just wake up looking out of my window or something, but now...I don't know what's going to happen.' He swiped his face again as Remus knelt down in front of him. 'I ended up in Sirius' room...and now I end up outside looking like this. Remus, what happens...what happens if I wake up standing over a body or something... who knows what I could do...'

Remus took his arms quickly. 'Harry,' he said sharply, cutting across him, 'We will find out what these dreams mean. I promise you that. I will go and see Dumbledore tomorrow.'

Harry looked down at Remus' hands around his arms.

'I feel like I don't even know what's real anymore,' he said frowning. 'I feel like I'm beginning to loose it.'

His jaw betrayed him and began to tremble. Harry ducked his head forward as tears began to slip down his cheeks. Remus was up in an instant and pulled Harry into his chest.

'We'll get it sorted Harry,' he said. 'I promise.'


	14. A calming process

**Hello everyone! Thank you for reviews and story alerts for the last chapter!  
>Here's number 14. This is the last 'filler' chapter for a while! Next chapter, things finally get started.<br>Personally, I really am not a fan of this chapter. I hated writing it!  
>Drop me a review and let me know what you think!<br>Enjoy. **

**Chapter fourteen**

_A calming process._

Dumbledore sat as his desk, his hands a steeple in front of him. The morning sunlight streamed through his office windows, casting shadows across his desk. His eyes were drawn to the view of the Quidditch pitch, though they were lost in thought as they usually were these days. It didn't, however, stop him registering the gargoyle protecting his office begin to move. Seconds later, there was a tentative knock on the door.

'Come in, Remus,' Dumbledore said wearily.

The door creaked open slightly. 'You knew I was coming?'

Dumbledore nodded and gestured for him to take a seat.

'I had a feeling.'

'I presume Severus told you what happened to Harry last night?'

'He did.'

'Albus, he needs to know what's happening to him,' Remus said. 'I know there's something you're not telling us...even if you can't tell _me_...' he trailed off as Dumbledore began to shake his head. He got up from his seat and wandered towards the window, his hands clasped behind his back.

'It is imperative Harry does now know the truth,' he said quietly.

Remus raised an eyebrow. 'He's scared, Albus. You didn't see him last night. He doesn't show it often, but every now and then a dark shadow passes over his face. He thinks he's beginning to go mad.'

'Remus, if Harry knows the truth then his life will be at stake – we all will.'

'Why?' Remus demanded, shaking his head. 'What could possibly be so frightening about a sixteen year old boy?'

Dumbledore sighed heavily and began pacing his office again, his fingers twirling his beard absently. 'The morning the Hogwarts Express was attacked, Harry sustained a head injury, you are well aware of that,' he began quietly. 'During this time, the part of Lord Voldemort that resides inside his head became known, not only in his subconscious, but also in his conscious mind.' He stopped to look at Remus. 'When he likes, using Harry's vulnerable states, he is able to control Harry.'

Remus was stunned into silence for a few moments.

'The dreams...when he wakes up somewhere else, what happened to him last night... that was all Voldemort?'

Dumbledore nodded again.

'But whatever Voldemort did to him last night...you should have seen the state he was in. He was covered in blood, he can still barely move this morning!' Remus shook his head, uncomprehending. 'Does that mean Voldemort was outside Grimmauld Place last night?' he asked suddenly, shocked at the notion.

Dumbledore shook his head.

'Lord Voldemort is only able to control Harry,' he said. 'He needn't have been present. He could have made Harry do those things to himself, if he wished it.'

Remus lapsed into a shocked silence again. He couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. Voldemort had been possessing Harry? Why? _What for?_

'If Harry is to become emotionally unstable,' Dumbledore went on, 'such as when Voldemort attacked the Dursleys, then I fear Tom Riddle will be able to take him over completely.'

Remus felt an anxious jolt through his stomach. Everyone around Harry was in danger and he was completely unaware. If he were to loose his temper, or become upset about something... Remus shuddered. He knew full well what Harry would do if he found out he was endangering people. How could they possibly keep his emotions in check without letting on?

'If Harry becomes aware of Voldemort inside his head, then he will be able to push aside Harry's consciousness entirely,' Dumbledore continued.

'We can't keep this from him forever,' Remus said. 'He'll find out eventually.'

'But for now,' Dumbledore said, his voice harsh as he turned away from the window, 'he must not know. Not until we've discovered a way to defeat him.'

Remus eyed him. 'But you already know how too, don't you,' he said coolly.

Dumbledore avoided his gaze. 'I have a theory.'

'Involving Harry? You know I shan't let any harm come to him, Albus. Whatever you're planning, if you hurt him...'

'When Harry is ready,' Dumbledore said simply, 'the decision will be his to make. But you must promise not to tell him, Remus. He trusts you, I therefore understand how difficult it will be for you to keep this from him. But it is imperative – for all our sakes.'

When Harry woke the next morning, the first thing he became aware of was a pounding inside his head. It felt like a bongo drum, endlessly beating through his skull. He groaned and shut his eyes tighter, trying to crawl further under the covers.

'Wakey, wakey, Harry!'

The light suddenly burst into life as Tonk's overly cheerful voice stung his eardrums.

''I'm up, I'm up,' he muttered, wondering what on earth Remus had been thinking letting her into his room.

Tonks laughed and then reached forward, yanking the covers off the bed. Harry tried frantically to grab at them, but winced as pain lanced through his shoulders. The linen slipped off the edge of the bed, revealing the lacerations, scarred and still a vicious red upon his skin. He froze, staring back at Tonks who appeared to have lost the ability to speak. She cleared her throat and then glanced up at his face; Harry looked away quickly.

'You've been asleep long enough,' she said eventually. 'C'mon, you'll feel better when you get up.'

She held her hands out to him and pulled him to his feet. 'Those look pretty nasty,' she said, handing him a T-shirt. 'Did Remus fix them up for you?'

Harry grimaced as he pulled the T-shirt above his head. Tonks swooped in quickly, easing it over his head.

'Snape did actually.'

Tonks laughed loudly, shaking her head. 'Snape, helped out? What is this world coming too.' She slipped out of the door ahead of Harry but looked back when she realised he wasn't following. His face was glued to the mirror on the wall, his hands caressing his cheeks.

'I didn't realise bruise salve worked so quickly,' he muttered, smiling slightly as he looked at his unmarred skin.

'Remus will find out what's going on, Harry,' Tonks said quietly. 'He never breaks a promise.'

Harry turned from the mirror.

'He told you?'

Tonks blushed and gave a coy grin. 'I was upstairs,' she said. 'I heard everything – I didn't mean to pry...'

Harry shook his head. 'It's fine,' he said with a smile. 'Remus will have to tell me when he's got company over in future. I don't want to walk in on anything.'

Tonks swatted him over the head.

They entered the kitchen, finding Remus sat at the table, his eyes glued to the newspaper. When he saw them he hastily snapped it shut, pushing it aside.

'I wondered when they'd start writing about me again,' Harry said, taking a seat.

'I'm sorry,' Remus said.

'Can I read it?'

Remus and Tonks exchanged a glance; Harry felt a spark of irritation. He did not need people hiding things from him, _especially_ something written by the daily profit, he could handle whatever they were saying. He didn't wait for an answer, instead he reached across the table and snatched it from beside Remus. He scanned the headline and then almost dropped the paper, his mouth hanging open in shock.

'They're telling people I'm _dead_!' he cried indignantly. Remus gave a sad nod and opened his mouth to speak; Harry cut him off quickly.

'And nobody thought to tell them they were wrong?'

'We did,' Tonks insisted. 'They cornered me a few days ago asking for a statement; they got Remus outside Diagon Alley.'

'So, what did you tell them?'

'That you were alive and well,' Remus said, 'and that you were staying with your Aunt and uncle.'

Harry frowned. 'But I'm not...'

'Well, no,' Remus smiled, 'but we can't very well tell them you're staying at Number 12 Grimmald Place, Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix can we?'

Harry allowed a small smile to trace his lips.

'I guess not,' he said. 'But I don't understand...why would they publish this?'

Tonks gave a shrug and collapsed into the chair beside Remus. 'Maybe they're trying to stir things up, make a more interesting story.'

'Yeah, but when I go back to school, people are going to realise I'm not actually dead...' Harry trailed off and picked up the paper again, scanning through it quickly. 'How did I die?' he asked.

'On the Hogwarts Express,' Remus said, just as Harry's eyes found the correct line on the page.

'It says you were cornered by Death Eaters and taken to Voldemort's headquarters.'

'There's a quote from one of the students,' Harry said. '' He just disappeared in a cloud of smoke with someone wearing black robes. It was the Death Eaters I know it. I just feel so guilty knowing I could have done something to stop it...''

He trailed off, not wanting to read anymore. Harry swallowed his own repressed guilt, shoving it to the background of his mind and screwed the paper into a tiny ball.

'The Profit tried to accuse us of covering up your death,' Tonks said.

'That is what gives me the feeling that Voldemort has managed to infiltrate the Ministry,' Remus said, drawing their attention. Both Tonks and Harry exchanged a curious glance.

'How?'

'Well, think about it. The night the Death Eaters attacked the train, Voldemort's aim was to frighten people, correct?' Harry nodded. 'So how do you think people are going to feel when they read the hero of the wizarding world has died?'

Harry pulled a face; he didn't enjoy being referred to as a 'hero', in his mind he was far from it.

'But how would he get into the Ministry?' he asked. 'Surely someone would notice Voldemort sat at a desk with a quill.'

'He could easily have someone under the imperious curse,' Tonks offered. 'Or lots of people perhaps. Any reporter would do.'

Harry blew an agitated breath out through nose and then ran his hands across his face, a gesture Remus was become familiar with of late. He eyed Harry anxiously, his heart begun to flutter in his chest.

'Are you alright?' Remus asked gently.

'This is the last thing I need,' Harry said, laying his head in his hands.

Tonks picked up her mug of tea and busied herself at the counter, clearing away a few plates before slyly making her way from the room. Remus shot her a thankful glance.

'They've really done it this time,' Harry continued.

'It's not worth getting worked up over - '

'Remus, they're telling people I am dead! What are my friends going to think when they've read this?'

'You are friends with a bight bunch of people, Harry. They're not going to believe what the daily profit has to say.'

Harry shrugged irritably and turned away to look at the fireplace. Remus regarded him carefully, watching him furiously blink back unseen tears. Remus felt a sudden pang of guilt; he was so worried about keeping Harry under control that he hadn't stop to think about how he'd react to all of this.

'What's really bothering you?' he asked. 'I've never seen you get upset about a newspaper article before.'

Harry didn't take his gaze from the fireplace. His eyes were lost in the emerald green flames that were burning softly in the grate.

'That's what's going to happen isn't it,' Harry said quietly, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat. 'When the time comes and I have to fight Voldemort...if I die...this is how they're going to tell my friends. A stupid headline and an out of date picture of me.'

'We wont let that happen, Dumbledore wont let it happen.'

'How can you be so sure?' Harry demanded, dragging his eyes around to meet Remus; they were glossy with tears. He took a deep breath in, his chest hitching as he did so. 'Remus, I don't want to die, I don't want to do this – I can't, I can't do this by myself – I can't -' His body begun to shake, he gasped in air but found his lungs unwilling to take it. Remus was by his side in an instant.

'Hey, it's okay, you're fine,'

Dumbledore's words suddenly played out in his head. This was exactly the kind of situation he had been dreading. If Harry got too caught up in his emotions, he'd become vulnerable and easy prey for Voldemort. How was he supposed to keep a 16 year old boys emotions under control when he was so terrified?

Harry choked out a thick sob; Remus could feel him gasping for breath against him.

He knelt down beside him and pulled Harry's hands together.

'Breathe into your hands, it'll help.'

His hands were trembling but, with a little help from Remus, Harry managed to pull his hands towards his mouth, taking deep breaths in and out. After a few moments, the shaking began to steady and his breathing became more regular. For a terrifying few seconds, Remus was certain he would see Voldemort's red eyes flash through Harry's green. It seemed he'd calmed down just in time, but Remus was at a complete loss of what to do next. He was well aware that he couldn't tell Harry what was really going on, but he couldn't say nothing either. He couldn't betray his trust and ruin everything they'd built up over the past weeks. Remus needed that just as much as Harry did.

'Better?' Remus asked after a few minutes.

Harry nodded into his hands and then pulled them away, wiping the sweat onto his pajama bottoms. He coughed to clear his throat and then looked away, his face reddening.

'Sorry,' he said quietly. 'I don't know what that was...'

Remus smiled gently and got to his feet, settling into the chair beside Harry instead.

'There's nothing to be sorry about,' he said. 'I understand how frightening this can all be...' he trailed off and ran a hand across his eyes. 'Dumbledore is going to kill me,' he muttered.

Harry lifted his head slightly. 'What is it?' he asked.

'Okay,' Remus said with a sigh. 'There are certain things that can't be said, Harry, certain things that need to be kept secret. I know you aren't a child, and I know that you can handle nearly everything thrown at you, but this is different.'

Harry's face began to twist into a frown.

'What do you mean?'

Remus couldn't decipher whether there was an icy tone hidden there somewhere.

'Dumbledore hasn't been entirely truthful with you, with either of us...'

'He knows what's really happening to me?'

Remus nodded.

'But he's not going to tell me?'

Remus sighed again. 'Only because he can't, Harry, it's not out of choice.'

'And what does that mean?' Harry snapped. 'Not out of choice.'

'Sometimes, when you're kept in the dark, it is for your own benefit. What Dumbledore is keeping from you, what he's making me keep from you, it is imperative that you do not know – can you understand that? It is not because we wish to hide things from you, but because it is vital, for your sake.'

Harry frowned again. 'So finding this out, is dangerous for me?'

'More so than you could imagine.'

'But you know what's going on?' Harry asked.

'To an extent, yes.'

'And you're not going to tell me? You won't tell me anything?'

Remus sighed heavily. 'I want to, Harry,' he said. 'Can you believe that? I really wish I could... but I just can't.'

Harry looked back at Remus and felt his stomach untwist slightly. He was fighting the urge to shout and scream that he should be told what was going on, but for once he decided to be rational about it. He knew Remus, he_ trusted _him. If Remus couldn't tell him, then surely it was for his own protection.

'Okay,' Harry said finally.

Remus did a double take. 'That easy?' he said.

'Well, I trust you. If you say it's dangerous for me to know, then I accept that. As long as you know what's going on.'

'I will help you in every way I can, with the knowledge I have, I promise,' Remus said, patting Harry's arm gently. 'But you must promise me something. I know this is going to make you angry, being kept in the dark, even if you won't let on at first, but you have to keep your emotions in check.'

Harry opened his mouth, seemingly to object, but Remus raised his hands to cut him off.

'I know, I know it's an absurd request, one that's especially cruel. But if Ron says something to you, or if you read the paper you cannot let it overwhelm you. Can you promise me you'll try?'

He watched Harry fidget nervously in his chair before giving a quick nod.

'I'll try.'

Harry got to his feet and paused for a few moments. He then turned back to Remus and wrapped his arms tightly around him. Startled for a moment, Remus stiffened, and then put his arms around Harry, holding him tightly.

'Thank you,' Harry said quietly.


	15. Doubting the wards

**Hello all! Here is chapter fifteen.  
>In contrast to hating the last chapter, I loooveeedd writing this one!<br>I borrowed some words and phrases from The Order of the Pheonix in this chapter because J.K explains it best and I am not worthy, plus I wanted to get the explanation right!  
>So here we go. Hope you enjoy.<strong>

**Chapter fifteen**

_Doubting the wards_

Harry went to bed that evening with a bowlful of mixed emotions. Remus said keeping in him the dark was for his own safety...was that so hard to believe? People had kept secrets from him his entire life, but Remus had taken the time to explain why, explain that it was in his best interest. He'd told Harry as much as he could... so why was it that he felt so angry? Why was there a burning desire in his chest, demanding that he know the truth. If this secret involved him, surely he should know? He had that right, didn't he?

Harry tossed fitfully in the bed and checked the clock for what felt like the hundredth time that evening. His mind was far too active for sleep so, admitting defeat, he clambered to his feet and headed down to the kitchen instead. He found Remus sat at the table in his usual chair, his eyes lost deep in thought. He started as Harry came through the door.

'What are you doing up?' he asked softly.

Harry shrugged. 'Couldn't sleep,' he said. 'I can't stop thinking about things – about everything.'

Remus nodded and looked away again. 'I know how you feel.'

They sat in silence until Harry lost count of time, both of them completely wrapped up in their own thoughts and memories. After a while, Harry felt his eyes drooping and he rested his head on the table. Seconds later, he was blissfully unaware.

Harry was in a room, somewhere he didn't recognise. The walls were dark and grey, surrounding him and pulling him into a claustrophobic space. The door was on the far side of the room; it appeared to be locked with three solid bolts across the centre. He glanced around the room, taking in his surroundings...there didn't seem to be any other way out.

A chinking of metal whipped his head around to the corner of the room. He looked at his own body, surprised to find he wasn't a prisoner here and then pulled out his wand warily.

'Lumos,' he muttered and the room suddenly burst with light. The entire room was a wreck. A long table sat in the centre, with a large split through the middle. Chairs were overturned and broken and strewn across the floor. Harry pushed himself shakily to his feet, staring around with wide eyes. He heard a groan from somewhere and instantly the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. His heart beating rapidly, Harry moved around the wrecked table, holding his source of light high. He felt his stomach drop and he fell to his knees beside two long metal chains. They were clamped tightly around the wrists and feet of a figure; it was trembling fitfully on the cold ground, shackled to the wall and unable to move.

'Remus...' Harry whispered, his throat tightening.

The figure gave another groan and Harry lifted his wand higher to inspect the damage. Remus' entire body was black and blue; bones were shattered and broken and the rise and fall of his chest was frightfully slow. At the mention of his name, his eyes snapped open and he glared back at Harry with a fierce look.

'You're stronger than this, Harry,' Remus said hoarsely, his breath shuddering in his chest.

Harry shook his head, bewildered. 'I – what?'

'You can beat this, you just have to fight it.'

'Fight what?' Harry said, looking around. 'Let me get you out of these things – Remus where the hell are we?'

'Fight it, Harry!'

'I don't know what you mean!' Harry cried. 'It's okay, there's nobody here to fight. I don't have to fight anyone.'

'You must! You cannot give up. I know you can do this.'

Remus looked so painfully determined that Harry didn't know what else to do other than nod. He set about removing his chains and then reached out to pull Remus to his feet. The man cried out so loudly that Harry almost dropped him, terrified that whoever had done this would find them.

'Remus, where are we?'

'STOP HIM HARRY!'

Remus was struggling furiously in his arms, battling to get away. Harry let go of him and the man staggered back into the wall.

'Remus, I - '

Suddenly, Harry felt an invisible slap to his body, so hard that he almost went sprawling to the floor. He looked around, fearing he was fighting an invisible foe when it happened again, harder this time.

'What is going on?'

Remus was grinning now, laughing manically as he watched Harry flail about as though fending off flies.

'That's it, Harry!' he cried. 'You're doing it!'

There was one more slap, and then his scar erupted. He felt himself being dragged, torn through reality itself and he cried out, screaming and thrashing and wishing whatever had him would let go. When suddenly, he opened his eyes and fell of the kitchen chair with an almighty crash.

He saw Dumbledore, Tonks and Kingsley looking down at him, and the pain in his forehead increased to a blinding level. He watched as Dumbledore knelt down beside him; Tonks appeared to have tears in her eyes, and then Harry let his own slide shut and everything went dark.

Harry opened his eyes; they were heavy and sticky, as though he'd been asleep for a long time. His head was pounding in time with his heart, gushing the blood so fiercely around his body that it made him feel sick. He blinked slowly, adjusting to the light, before starting violently as he became aware of a figure sat at the end of his bed. The figure was staring off into the distance, their fingers entwined in long white beard. Harry looked to see what the man was gazing at, and feeling even more confused, realised that he wasn't in Grimmauld Place, but in the headmaster's office in Hogwarts instead. He tried to push himself into a sitting position, cursing the overly soft mattress he was laying on. His entire body ached; a burning sensation that went deep into his muscles. He groaned slightly, his arms protesting as he pushed himself upright.

'I wouldn't over exert yourself,' Dumbledore's soft voice said. 'Madam Pomfrey will be less than pleased.'

Harry frowned, ignoring Dumbledore's advice and trying to twist so that he was facing him. A sharp pain shot through his side; he cried out and Dumbledore turned to look at him with an 'I told you so,' expression on his face.

'What's going on,' Harry said. ''Why am I here?'

Dumbledore looked away again before speaking.

'What do you remember of last night?'

'I don't – I couldn't sleep,' Harry said uncertainly, 'so I went downstairs and I must have fallen asleep at the kitchen table.' He lifted his head, his stomach lurching as he suddenly remembered the strange dream he'd had. 'I had a dream,' he said. 'But I can't remember it clearly...'

'Tonks, Kingsley and I found you unconscious late last night,' Dumbledore said quietly. 'Remus was attacked.'

Harry was uncertain, but he was sure he saw a gleam of something shoot across Dumbledore's eyes just for a moment.

'_What?' _Harry cried, 'Is he alright?'

Dumbledore nodded. 'Yes, yes he is quite alright. He is recovering nicely in St Mungos.'

Harry almost leapt off the bed. 'But, how is that possible – nobody can get inside the house!'

Dumbledore was silent for a few moments, looking off towards the window. 'We are uncertain,' he said and then got to his feet and moved across the office, settling himself at his desk.

Harry frowned. He'd been lied to enough times to know when somebody was not telling him the truth.

'Don't lie to me,' he said.

'I am not lying to you,' Dumbledore said, turning back to look at Harry, surveying him over the top of his spectacles.

'But how did someone get to him, _how_ did someone attack him?' Harry cried. 'Nobody can get into the house! He was up with me most of the night!'

Harry suddenly felt childish for admitting this and his face grew hot; he looked away quickly.

'Is he okay?' he added quietly after a few moments silence.

'As I said, he is recovering nicely. There is no permanent harm done.'

'Who did it?' Harry asked, feeling the anger rise in the pit of his stomach. 'Who attacked him?'

Dumbledore leant his chin on his hands, peering thoughtfully across the room at him.

'Aren't you more concerned with your own aches and pains?' he asked and, as though on cue, Harry's body gave a painful throb and he winced, gritting his teeth.

'What happened to me?' he asked. 'Why don't I remember...' he trailed off, suddenly realising what could have happened. 'I had another one of those dreams, didn't I? Like the one when I was attacked...'

A sudden thought hit Harry like a train, propelling him to his feet. Dumbledore must have sensed what he was thinking as he too leapt up, instantly moving around the desk towards him.

'Remus didn't leave the house last night, and if nobody else can get in...that means...Oh my god,' Harry muttered, the thought drowning out any other rational explanation. 'I did it,' he whispered. 'It was me!'

'Harry, listen to me - '

'I attacked Remus?' Harry said, his voice breaking. 'I could have killed him!'

'Harry - '

'NO!' Harry bellowed. 'I don't want to hear your excuses anymore! You'd better tell me what the hell is going on! And I want the truth this time, I am _sick_ of being kept in the dark!'

White hot anger leapt inside him. He clenched his jaw tightly.

'I need to know what is going on,' he said, his voice shaking. 'Now.'

'Harry, you must understand-'

'Understand what?' he cut in sharply. 'You do realise that your desire to keep me in the dark about things has not only resulted in Sirius' death, but now Remus is -'

It was too much. Harry turned his back on Dumbledore, his body physically shaking with rage. 'Why wont you tell me what is going on?'

'Because,' Dumbledore began calmly. 'You must understand that you not knowing all the facts are fundamental to the downfall of Voldemort.'

'I – AM – NOT – YOUR – PUPPET!' Harry screamed, so loudly that his throat felt as though it were tearing. ' I am not your tool! You cannot use me simply to fulfill the stupid prophecy!'

Dumbledore marched forward, grabbing Harry forcefully by the arms.

'Harry, you are setting too much store by the prophecy!'

Harry blinked. 'What?' he spluttered. 'You told me the prophecy means that I've got to try and kill him!'

'Got to?' Dumbledore said, 'of course Harry, but not because of the prophecy, but because you will never rest until you've tried! Remember, _remember,_ what you told Remus? Even if Voldemort hadn't murdered your parents, even if Sirius had not have died – would you still be fighting him?'

'Of course I would!' Harry cried indignantly. 'He's murdering innocent people!'

'Exactly, Harry, Exactly! Voldemort's foolishness, his desire to remove any kind of threat towards himself– that is how he marked you and that will be his downfall! Voldemort continues to set store by the prophecy, but we, _you, _Harry, do not need that piece of information in order to fight and defeat him! We're fighting because we want to, not because we have to. There is _always _a choice.'

Harry sat, dumbfounded for a few moments. He didn't realise – he'd assumed that he'd have to meet his fate, that he'd have to go head to head with Voldemort. He was still going to of course, but he felt slightly more at ease knowing he wasn't going to be dragged there kicking and screaming.

'What is happening to me?' Harry asked finally, finding the confidence to stare back into those piercing blue eyes. Dumbledore sighed wearily, running an aged hand through his beard. He sat in the chair behind his desk, gesturing for Harry to take the seat opposite. Harry obliged, sitting heavily and pressing the heels of his hand into his eyes.

'The night that Voldemort came to murder you he, of course, underestimated what would happen,' Dumbledore began. 'You are probably sick of hearing by now, that it is thanks to your mothers sacrifice that you are still alive.'

Harry nodded again, he _was_ sick of hearing that.

'When she cast her own life between you and Voldemort as a shield, the killing curse rebounded upon Lord Voldemort, and a fragment of his soul was unleashed. It latched onto the only living soul in the building. Harry, part of Lord Voldemort lives inside you. It is this that gives you the power to speak to snakes, and the connection to his mind. But now there is something more. Voldemort is able to control you,' Dumbledore said.

Harry felt a jolt of dread through his stomach. 'How?' he asked, his lips numb.

'Because of the injuries you sustained when the Death Eaters attacked the Hogwarts Express.'

Harry raised his hand instinctively to the back of his head, running his fingers along the scar as Dumbledore spoke. 'The brain is very complex and delicate thing, Harry. When you damaged your head, and you did a good job of that, your brain momentarily shut down. It was in those moments, when you were blissfully unaware, that Voldemort's soul took its chance. Having been in your subconscious for so long, whilst your brain was re-cooperating, it was able to take full presence at the forefront of you mind. He has been controlling you through this portal, if you will. As you have discovered, Voldemort can step through and use you to do his bidding.'

'But,' Harry cut in anxiously, 'in the ministry, when he tried to possess me he couldn't do it. It was painful for him. What's changed?'

'I can only guess, but I believe that as this piece of his soul has been present in your mind since that fateful night, Voldemort is able to use that as a shield to protect himself.'

Harry shook his head looking thoroughly confused.

'What I mean Harry,' Dumbledore continued, 'is that Voldemort is able to control this piece of his soul without coming anywhere near you. He merely has to project the thoughts of what he wishes you to do, and so you do it. Of course, you are not yourself when this happens for you could never fathom carrying out the deeds that Voldemort has. As a consequence, Harry Potter is pushed to the subconscious, where the piece of his soul resided for so long, and Lord Voldemort is now in charge.'

'It only happens when I'm angry,' Harry murmurred softly after a few moments silence. Dumbledore nodded; apparently he knew this. 'Or when I'm asleep.' He rubbed a tired hand across his eyes again. 'That's why he planted those dreams about Snape? To make me angry?'

'It is what I believe, Harry,' said Dumbledore.

'You didn't want me to know,' Harry said. Dumbledore shook his head.

'If Voldemort is aware of what I have told you, in time, he will be able to take you over completely.'

'But he must have known something last night, he used me to attack Remus,' Harry said. 'I would have found out sooner or later!'

'And it would appear that the time has come,' Dumbledore said. 'We must be prepared to face the consequences of this.'

'What do we do?'

Dumbledore sighed. 'This is where things begin to get complicated.'

He leant forward across the table and almost glared directly into Harry's eyes; Harry's heart began to pick up pace, pounding painfully in his chest as Dumbledore began speaking.

'For Voldemort to perish completely, every part of his soul needs to be destroyed,' he said. 'This would include, the piece that has taken residence in you, Harry,'

'And how do you do that?' Harry asked, although he feared he already knew the answer. Dumbledore drew a breath before speaking.

'By casting the killing curse upon you once more.'

Harry's heart took flight. Terror washed over him as he contemplated Dumbledore's words. The ground beneath him seemed to twist; Harry felt as though he and Dumbledore were standing either end of a very long, dark tunnel.

'Harry, this is complicated magic – I fear you misunderstand me.'

Harry shook his head; Dumbledore's office seemed to shake with him.

'No, I understand,' Harry said, ashamed of the prominent tremor in his voice. 'I have to die for Voldemort to die.'

'No, Harry. Voldemort's _soul_ must die-'

'But it's part of me!'

'Yes, but you need not die with it!'

Harry's heart begun to pulse more frantically.

'What do you mean?'

'In order to dispose of the piece of soul within you, the killing curse must be cast upon you and _only_ you. Do you remember, Harry, that night in the graveyard when Voldemort was resurrected. In his ignorance he took your blood and rebuilt his body with it. Lily's protection is inside both of you. He has tethered you to life.'

'You mean, I can't die if he is still alive?' Harry asked, looking thoroughly shocked.

Dumbledore peered at Harry over his spectacles; his brow creased and gave a small nod.

'However, if Voldemort possesses you at the time, he will be strong enough to fight back.'

'So what would happen if the killing curse hits me whilst he was in control?' Harry said.

Dumbledore appeared to be struggling with his words; the uncharacteristic behavior only made Harry more anxious.

'Then I fear that he will be able to take you into death with him.'

Harry swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. The room felt like it was spinning again.

'Right,' he said thickly. 'So what's the plan?'

'You are not going to object?'

'You're giving me a choice?'

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. 'As I said, there is always a choice.'


	16. Confrontation

**Hello all! Thank you for reviews and story alerts for the last chapter.  
>Where has January gone! My goodness, it's completely flown by.<br>Anyway, here is chapter 16. I hope you enjoy this one!  
>I have a feeling some of you won't like me after the next few chapters. Muh ha haaa. <strong>

**Chapter Sixteen**

_Confrontation_

Dumbledore guided Harry through the fireplace keeping, what Harry thought, was an unnecessarily firm grip on his arm as they flooed back to Grimmauld Place. In truth, Harry probably couldn't have made the journey alone; his body was still aching horrendously from when Voldemort had possessed him during the night, and his head was spinning with everything that he'd learnt in the past hour. Dumbledore had scheduled an emergency Order meeting, now that Harry knew the truth it was only a matter of time before the real battle was to begin.  
>As the emerald flames released them, Harry stumbled over the grate into the kitchen of Sirius' old home; Dumbledore righted him, keeping a steady grip on his arm and then deposited him into a chair.<p>

'The Order will be here soon,' he told Harry, sweeping around to the head of the table and gazing down it, as though he were deciding something simple, such as where to place the table settings.

'So what are we going to do?' Harry asked.

Dumbledore leant his hands heavily on the table, still staring off into the distance, though his eyes were utterly focused.

'Voldemort will now be aware of what is happening and of what must happen for him to die,' Dumbledore said quietly. 'I do not think it will be long before he tries to take full control of you.'

Harry felt his stomach squirm.

'So, what happens then?'

Dumbledore leant over the table, clutching Harry firmly by the forearm. 'You must fight him,' he said. 'You are stronger than him.'

'And then what?' Harry asked wincing at Dumbledore's grip. 'When can we cast the curse?'

'Not until the opportune moment...'

'And when will that be?' Harry snapped. 'Oh, don't worry; whilst Voldemort is skipping around pretending to be me, you just take your time figuring out how to defeat him.'

Dumbledore stifled the urge to smile; Harry dropped his head. 'Sorry,' he said. 'I snap more easily these days.'

'I can imagine,' Dumbledore said. 'But we must wait until we are ready, Harry. Ideally, the truth would have come out later, but we must act accordingly to what has happened. You will know when the time has come.'

Before Harry could reply, the fireplace suddenly roared to life and two blurry figures bundled out, almost falling over each other in a hurry.

'Harry?' Ron said, running over.

'Thank goodness!' Hermione cried, throwing her arms around him. 'Mr Weasley said something had happened, somebody was attacked!'

Harry looked towards Dumbledore nervously. The man inclined his head and then turned away, giving them the sense of privacy.

'Something's happened,' he said urgently. 'But it's going to take a lot of explaining. I don't have the time now – there's a meeting...'

'We're staying,' Ron said, his voice hard with defiance. Harry pulled a face and looked towards Hermione, hoping she'd install some sense in him. But instead, she shook her head.

'Ron's right,' Hermione said. 'We want to fight too, if something important has happened, that means it's almost time and you're going to need all the help you can get.'

'Please,' Harry said quietly. 'I don't want either of you to get hurt.'

'Tough,' Ron said, settling himself into the chair beside Harry. 'We're in this together – until the end.'

Harry opened his mouth to speak but, all of a sudden, the strangest feeling came over him. He felt hot, clammy and sweaty like he was suffering from flu. Small tremors began to run through his body, arching his back against his chair; his fingers and hands twitching uncontrollably. The white fog began to slither through his senses and for brief moments he was unaware, until he was dragged back to reality by a movement or a noise. He could feel a merciless laugh building up through his body and he tried desperately to stem it. Harry knew what was happening; he hadn't waited very long at all.

He tried with all his might to focus on happy thoughts, thoughts of love and friendship…

And then came pain. A boiling, searing pain all throughout his body, tearing at his limbs, his skin, shredding his muscles to pieces. He was vaguely aware of Hermione screaming for Dumbledore and Ron backing away from him, wide eyed. The last thing he saw was Dumbledore strolling across the room, fire in his eyes as he approached, and Harry felt himself rising to his feet. And then the pain engulfed him, like a ball of flame and he ceased to exist.

'Let him go, Tom.'

Dumbledore's voice was like ice as he glared back into the vicious red eyes; burning where green ones should have been, full of hatred and scorn. Harry's lips curved into a cruel smile and he cocked his head curiously to one side, his gaze sweeping over the headmaster.

'Is this what you want, Dumbledore?' a voice, cold and harsh seared through Harry's throat. 'You wish to see your precious golden boy suffer? You wish to see him in such agony that he will be begging you for death?'

There was a flash of green. It darted quickly across the surface of the iris and then dissolved into red once more. Dumbledore stepped forward quickly, grasping Harry by the arm. Harry's throat choked a slight laugh and the arm twitched from the old mans grip.

'The boy is strong,' Voldemort hissed. 'He tries to fight me, even now.'

As though Dumbledore had switched a television channel, Voldemort's consciousness was forced aide and Harry came gasping back into control. He doubled over, Dumbledore clasped him around the shoulders before he could fall, holding him upright. Harry was dragging in deep gasping breaths, his eyes clenched shut.

'Harry, you must fight him,' Dumbledore growled into his ear.

'I can't,' the boy muttered, clawing in another breath and shaking his head reverently. 'I can't do it.'

'You can,' Dumbledore said, giving his shoulders a shake. 'You are stronger than him.'

Harry gritted his teeth, still shaking his head, until suddenly his jaw ripped open and a shriek of agony rang round the room. He arched backwards, his head rolling sickeningly and, as quickly as they'd disappeared, the red eyes returned and the sadistic grin was placed obscurely on the young boys face.

'You see Dumbledore?' Voldemort hissed, his eyes wide with delight. 'See what you have done? _You've_ done this to him. If you had not kept your secrets, if you had not lied to the boy, then this would never have happened.' Voldemort slowly withdrew Harry's wand from his pocket as he spoke and held it lazily between two fingers; it hung there threateningly. 'Give the boy to me.'

'We'd rather die than give Harry to you!' a voice bellowed from the back of the room. Ron Weasley was glaring at his possessed friend with a mixture of conflicting emotions. A tiny part in Harry's mind registered that someone else had entered the room; someone appeared to be holding Ron back.

He certainly recognised the face... It was bruised and there was a pale sheen of sweat covering his skin, but other than that he looked healthy. Almost like he was suffering from a cold, rather than he'd spent the night recovering in St Mungos. The tiny part of Harry's brain that recognised him breathed a sigh of relief, Voldemort however almost roared with anger.

Lupin, looking as though he'd just rolled from the fireplace, covered in soot and ash, had one arm wrapped around Ron's chest, the other clamped securely on his wand arm which was already half raised. Hermione stood beside them, her face white and terrified.

'You can't stun him, Ron,' Hermione told him.

'She's right,' Lupin said in his ear, ''If Harry is weakened in any way, Voldemort will be able to take him over completely.'

'But he's killing him!,' Ron cried, struggling to break free. 'He's dying!'

'Let Dumbledore handle it.'

Harry watched the scene before him with raised eyebrows; Voldemort's eyes were dancing with glee.

'You'd rather die?' Voldemort hissed. Harry's wand twitched in his fingers. His arm gave a strange spasm, like it was fighting against an invisible weight and Dumbledore tensed; hope dared to make an appearance in his chest.

'_NO!'_ A burst of green again, stronger this time, and Harry's knees buckled beneath him and he fell heavily to the floor. Dumbledore crouched before him, taking his lolling head in his wizened hands.

'Harry?'

'He's going to kill you all,' he muttered, his voice barely audible. 'You shouldn't have told me...you shouldn't have told me...!' With severe effort, he raised his eyes to meet Dumbledore's. Lupin, Ron and Hermione all looked on with wide eyes, hardly daring to breathe. Slowly, Lupin released Ron's wand arm; it dropped heavily to his side like a dead weight. With a warning glare for the teenagers to remain where they were, Lupin ran forward, heading towards Harry's crumpled figure.

'...I cannot allow that to happen, Harry,' Albus was saying as he approached. Remus' stomach instantly clenched; what was Harry contemplating?

'Please,' Harry pleaded. 'I don't want him to kill you.'

'He will continue to kill, with or without you in this world, Harry.'

Harry's body convulsed again, red sliced across green and Harry roared with pain, forcing Voldemort back.

'But he won't use me to do it!' Harry cried, clutching hold of Dumbledore's arm. 'Either kill me now, or get the hell out of here because he's going to wipe you all out.'

'I am not going to kill you, Harry, and neither will I leave you. Tom Riddle will not harm me.'

Dumbledore's voice was firm, and Voldemort mocked him as more words ripped out of Harry's throat.

'You will not give the boy to me, Albus?' he sneered.

'I will not allow you to take him, Tom. As you have discovered this evening, Harry is capable of overcoming you.'

Malice flashed across Voldemort's eyes, his mouth twisted again into a sadistic smile.

'We shall see!'

Harry's wand arm began to rise, though it trembled fiercely. Voldemort's eyes were locked on the two figures at the back of the room and Harry called out, pushing Voldemort aside for just a moment. Voldemort bared his teeth and let out a merciless laugh – his wand twitched in Hermione's direction. Before anyone knew what happened, a jet of red light exploded from the end of Harry's wand, forcing him back several steps. Lupin threw out a shield charm, but he wasn't fast enough. Ron's face was set, hard and defiant as he threw himself in front of Hermione, pushing her sideways onto the ground. The light struck him full force in the chest and he was thrown viciously backwards into the door. A sickening crack filled the room and his body slumped heavily to the ground. With a strangled cry, Hermione picked herself up and ran instantly to his side, tears already beginning to stream down her face. Lupin turned back to Harry, thoroughly shocked, but Harry's wand arm was rising again and this time towards his own head. Horror in their eyes, both Lupin and Dumbledore dived forward for his arm.

'Harry, listen to me,' Lupin's voice was harsh and clipped. 'You cannot allow Voldemort to take you like this.'

Green was battling with red. They were forcing each other sideways and backwards, blinking into existence and then dissolving again. With a mechanical scream, Voldemort reared Harry's head backwards and with one final push his arm snapped up to his head. The end of the wand was glowing green; Lupin's breath hitched in his chest.

'Come on, Harry! COME ON!'

Voldemort's red eyes rolled around the meet the werewolf.

'Avada - !'

Lupins eyes gleamed with triumph.

'Yes! That's it, good boy!' he cried.

Voldemort sneered furiously. 'Avada -'

With an almighty crash, the windows in the kitchen imploded, showering the floor with raindrops of glass. Harry cried out again, his back arched and his limbs clenched; his eyes were screwed shut. Hermione, knelt beside Ron, watched in awe as the ceiling above began to scream thunderously. Cabinets, drawers and even the kitchen table began to split and crack. Lupin and Dumbledore threw their hands over their heads. Everything filtered into a deafening silence.


	17. Consequences

**I'm actually pretty nervous about posting this chapter! I don't know what you're all going to think...  
>Best just get on with it then...<br>Here's chapter seventeen. Hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter Seventeen**

_Consequences_

_'Ennervate!'_

There was a buzzing. A low, harmonic sound that resonated through his ears; that was the first thing he recognised. He could hear. It was crisp and clear; it felt as though his ears had just popped. Voices: harsh, worried, angry; screaming whirled through his head. He couldn't process anything that was said, though it was sharp in his ears.

He knew his eyes were open because he could see. Not perfectly, for all he could make out were fuzzy outlines, blurry figures rushing around, more than he thought were in the room earlier, but it was better than nothing.

His body hurt. There was no other way to describe the pain other than, bewildering. He expected to writhe and shriek in agony, but no sound was coming from his lips and no movement from his body. As much as he wanted to scream the pain away, something wasn't allowing him to and so he stayed silent, trying to concentrate on the voices of those around him.

Someone pulled his head roughly to the side; two fingers were thrust onto the side of his neck. The movement forced the pain into that area.

'He's not breathing! Someone help him, please!'

A girl was screaming.

'_Ennervate_!'

He knew that was Lupin. He was surprised his brain was still functioning enough to recognise that, but, as something hard pressed down upon his chest, his head became drowsy, the voices started to fade; the buzzing returned in full force...

Something rested against his breastbone, a spell he did not recognise was incanted and his whole body flailed; arching and then slamming back into the ground. Everything felt fuzzy; a strange tingling sensation was appearing in the tips of his fingers and toes. His precious numbness was fading...

'Do it again,_ now_!'

The same searing pain tore through his chest; it felt as though somebody was trying to claw his heart out. The tingling intensified until eventually, Harry could feel his fingers, his palms, the creaking bones in his wrist. One last fuzzy incantation, the following pain and Harry jolted upright, wrenched back into consciousness. With a snap, the light burst into his eyes.

He tried to open his mouth to speak but the words were slush in his ears. He tried to sit upright but a firm hand pushed him back down.

'Stay down, Harry,' Remus said sharply.

'I need to check on Ron,' Harry slurred, struggling weakly onto his side.

Remus either didn't understand him or ignored him and continued to hold him down. His head was facing the other way, watching something towards the back of the room.

'Please! Is he going to be alright?'  
>Harry heard to girl scream again and it took him a few moments to realise that sound was coming from Hermione.<p>

'What's going on,' Harry said again, more forcefully this time. Every syllable was an effort to push out.

His entire body throbbed in agony. His hands were folded into the fabric of Lupins robes; he scrunched his fists tighter as his reality tried to slip again.

He shuddered; strong hands were placed gently either side of his face.

'Harry listen to me, everything is fine –'

'Let me up!' Harry growled incoherently, he tried to swat Remus' hands away. Several blurred figures left the room quickly, muttering under their breath. Remus blocked his view quickly.

'No, Harry! Lie back down, you're barely conscious!'

To back up his conclusion, Harry felt his hands slip from under him and he collapsed back to the floor again. He imagined this is what being drunk was like – the twins had attempted to explain it to him once. The floor was swirling in front of his eyes. His head felt as though it were trying to focus on too many things at once.

'Albus! Please, he's in a bad way!'

Remus was looking towards the back of the room again. Harry took a second to note that the screaming had stopped. The room suddenly seemed oddly empty.

Dumbledore appeared beside him. Harry tried to focus on him.

'Harry, do you know where you are?'

Harry kept quiet, fighting to make his eyes concentrate on one location. He blinked furiously.

'Are you aware of what has just happened?'

Harry nodded wearily.

'Where's R –' He stopped himself mid sentence as he finally got a good listen to what he sounded like. No wonder Remus was going spare – he was just mumbling an incoherent string of noises.

Dumbledore and Remus shared a look and then, without a word, Dumbledore raised his wand and Harry felt himself being dragged once again back into the murky realms of darkness.

* * *

><p>Harry woke slowly, drained to the very core. He could barely move his eyes, let alone contemplate getting up. But there was one single thought penetrating his blurry mind.<p>

_Ron._

He had to make sure Ron was alright.

He concentrated on trying to move his arms. He was filled with the same burning ache the morning after Remus had been attacked – the morning after he'd been _possessed. _Images of his inward battle with Voldemort came hurtling towards him and he cried out, panic rising in his chest as he struggled to push those agonising moments to the back of his mind.

With gut wrenching effort, Harry tried to push himself to a sitting position, throwing back the covers that were almost tying him down the bed.

'Easy, Harry,' a gentle voice said and a hand suddenly appeared on his shoulder. He jumped at the touch, almost throwing the hand off him and shucking up against the headboard.

He looked around wide eyed, mildly surprised to find he wasn't inside the hospital wing, but instead back inside Grimmauld Place. Remus was sat at the end of the bed, his eyes hollow but watching Harry intently. Harry couldn't meet his eye. He didn't know what to say or do – he just needed to get out. He needed to see Ron.

'Harry, - '

'Don't,' Harry said quickly, trying again to get to his feet. 'I can't right now.'

'Sit down,' Remus said firmly, his hand still attached to Harry's shoulder, pressing him back into the bed. Harry looked up at him, feeling thunderous.

'Get off me,' he snapped, trying to push Remus away.

'You need to listen to me,' Remus said, using a tone that Harry wasn't used to and frankly, didn't care for. 'You've been unconscious, if you go throwing yourself around you're going to do more damage. Now, _sit down_.'

Harry struggled into a more upright position, poised to leap from the bed as soon as Remus relinquished his hold.

'I need to see Ron,' he said flatly. 'Let me see him.'

Remus gave a heavy sigh and ran a hand across his face, looking as though he was about to do something awful. Harry's heart gave a funny twinge in his chest.

'Ron is in the hospital wing,' Remus said softly. He paused for a few moments, his eyes glistening suspiciously in the light. He opened his mouth to speak again and then closed it, looking away.

'What is it?' Harry said.

'I don't know how to tell you this,' Remus said. 'I'm so sorry, Harry.'

'What! For gods sake Remus -'

'The spell Voldemort used…it caused a lot of damage.'

Harry looked at him blankly.

'So, it's going to take him a while to recover?' Harry said quickly. 'That's okay, I can help him.'

Remus gave a pained sigh.

'Harry... Ron isn't going to get better.'

'What are you talking about?' Harry snapped.

Remus shook his head slowly. He didn't need to finish the sentence.

For a moment, Harry thought he'd fallen unconscious again as the shock hit him like a bludger, sending his mind whirling in a tumble of grief. He didn't know how to react. He even forgot how to breathe for a moment.

'You're lying,' Harry said.

Remus shook his head sadly.

'I wish I was.'

'You're _lying,_' Harry said viciously, struggling to his feet again. Remus grabbed at his arm and Harry whirled around, throwing him off and stumbling over to a pile of clothes in the corner of the room. 'I'm going to see him and he's going to be fine.'

He practically fell into a pair of jeans and rammed a t- shirt over his head; he didn't even bother with socks or shoes, before darting from the bedroom, his legs unsteady.

'Harry!' Remus snapped, running after him and grabbing him around the chest. 'For goodness sake, you are going to end up killing yourself!'

'Get off me!' Harry yelled, wrenching himself free and trying to throw himself as quickly as he could down the stairs and into the kitchen. He ran forward and grabbed a fistful of floo powder, stepping into the grate before Remus had even entered the kitchen.

He almost fell face first into the fireplace as he tumbled through, but as he scrambled quickly to his feet inside the hospital wing, Harry realised something was painfully wrong.

An agonising scream pierced the air, shouts and yells followed. Sobbing, great heaving cries came next, echoing around the castle walls.

Harry's heart felt as though it had stuck in his chest, he didn't hear the fireplace roar behind him or see Remus step through beside him. Harry stumbled backwards as Hermione tore past, her eyes wide and terrified and streaming with tears. She took one look at him and then sprinted towards the door, ripping it open and disappearing down the corridor. Harry felt his stomach reel, a surge of nausea overcame him at the sight before his eyes. Mrs Weasley was lying over a body, shaking and sobbing desperately. Mr Weasley stood beside her, a hand caressing her back, his face white and gaunt. The twins and Ginny stood huddled together as Madame Pomfrey bustled around, sniffing and dabbing at her eyes. He felt so small; the room seemed to shrink and twist around violently. Remus turned to Harry looking an uncharacteristic picture of grief. Harry didn't understand – he didn't _want_ to understand. He saw the tuft of red hair poking out from the top of the bed covers and he turned and ran from the room as fast as he could. He heard somebody calling after him, heard footsteps rushing after him, but Harry didn't stop. He couldn't. He ran as fast as he could, pounding out the pain in his body. His insides were screaming. He wanted to tear out his heart so he didn't have to feel any more.

He turned sharply reaching a narrow staircase and flung himself down it, his feet stumbling and slipping as his entire body trembled. He let out a scream, a raw shriek that tore his throat. He spun and slammed his fists into the wall; the pain wasn't nearly enough. He lashed out, kicking and screaming at the wall with all that was left within his body.

A pair of warm, strong hands gathered him up. Harry pushed and shoved, flailing against the grip around him. His eyes seared with wetness, he choked on a thick sob and he screamed again into the fabric now encasing him.

'I know, Harry.'

Harry shook his head, fisting his hands against the material of Remus' robes. His wailing was muffled against Remus' chest; he shook his head desperately.

'It'll be alright.'

Harry tried to tell him, tried to scream that nothing would ever be alright again. Strong fingers cupped the back of Harry's head, his sobs grew louder, more painful, and slowly Harry's body became flaccid in Remus' arms. He wanted to disappear forever, he felt his grief swallow him, his weight dragging against Remus' legs until slowly, they sunk to their knees. He cradled Harry in his arms, holding him tightly as Harry continued to sob and yell the pain away. The tears shook both of them and Remus gripped Harry tighter, for what else could he do?


	18. Grief

**Thanks for the reviews and story alerts for the last chapter! I appreciate them :)  
>So here's chapter eighteen. Pretty angst ridden for the next few chapters, but we can forgive poor Harry.<br>Enjoy!**

**Chapter Eighteen**

_Grief_

'Harry.'

Remus' voice seemed to echo ominously around the deserted classroom. They were sat across from each other and had done so silently for the past twenty minutes. Harry's eyes were fixed to the floor, the rise and fall of his chest was all that you could decipher between death and wakefulness. With considerable effort, Remus had managed to get Harry into the classroom; Dumbledore's Patronus had arrived shortly after.

'Ensure Harry is not left alone.'

Remus had no intention of doing that, even if they continued to sit in silence until Harry gave way to sleep. Remus very much doubted that he would – he could almost see the desire for revenge etched upon Harry's face. Other than that, the boy showed no other emotion, he was completely empty.

Remus knew how he felt, for he had been in the same situation fifteen years ago. He'd wanted to fight, to punish Voldemort and the people who had assisted in James' and Lily's murders. He'd wanted nothing more than to rage and storm until, like Harry, he'd run out of steam and succumbed to the emptiness.

'I don't think I can do this anymore.'

Harry's voice was thick, clogged from the long crying spell. Remus looked at him, not at all shocked to hear those words, he had been expecting them.

Harry didn't take his eyes from the floor; his fingers twitched convulsively in his lap. 'I've had enough. I just want it to be over.'

'It will, and soon.' Remus placed his hand on Harry's arm, giving it a gentle squeeze.

For a few seconds there was silence, until Harry dragged his eyes from the floor to meet Remus' mournful gaze; his own eyes were completely lifeless.

'I killed him,' Harry whispered, his jaw trembling.

Remus leant forward and took Harry by the shoulders. 'No,' he said, giving him a hard shake. 'Harry, look at me – this was in no way your fault. It was Voldemort who killed Ron, not you.'

'It was me,' Harry said bitterly. His throat began to burn again, he swallowed hard and took a steadying breath. 'How - ' his voice broke, he couldn't continue.

Remus paused for a moment, knowing what Harry was asking. 'Voldemort used a spell – one we weren't familiar with,' he said gently. 'There was nothing we could do. After – you were in a bad way; Dumbledore had to spell you asleep. They took Ron up to the infirmary straight away. When we got there, Poppy told us Ron was – that he was going to die. He was unconscious the whole time.' He paused again, struggling to find the words. 'Poppy said he wouldn't have felt anything, he went peacefully as he slept.'

Harry suddenly looked daggers at Remus.

'You think being murdered is peaceful?' he snarled. 'You think being _slaughtered _by your best friend is peaceful?'

'You did not murder Ron - '

I know!' Harry cried. 'Voldemort did!' His face contorted, for the first time, into anguished rage. 'But he used _me_ to do it! And as much as people tell me it wasn't my fault I will _never_ be able to forgive myself for this. And I don't expect Hermione or Mr and Mrs Weasley to either!'

Harry stood sharply, almost toppling his chair. He was still for a few moments, trying to figure out what he wished to do now he was standing.

'I need to go – I have to kill him,' the words rose effortlessly to his lips, like they'd been waiting to emerge the entire time.

'Dumbledore has set up a meeting for tomorrow - '

'No,' Harry cut in. 'Now. I have to go _now._ I want this to be over.'

Remus looked closely at Harry and then sighed heavily. 'I know you do, Harry. But you must think rationally about this.'

'I am!' Harry snapped. 'For the first time ever I know what I have to do, what I _need_ to do!'

'Think back to what Dumbledore told you,' Remus said, getting to his feet also. 'For Voldemort to die completely-'

'Yeah, the soul in me has got to die first,' Harry said angrily. 'So I'll let him kill me.'

'And then who will cast the killing curse on him?'

Harry faltered for a few moments, his wide eyes flickering around the room.

'And,' Remus added softly. 'Who will be there to fight off the death eaters? You cannot do this alone, Harry. We all want to help you. Do this properly, for Ron. When the time came, he would have wanted to see Voldemort finished for good.'

Harry turned his back. 'You don't know what he would have wanted.'

Pushing his chair aside, Harry marched towards the door.

'Where are you going?' Remus called after him.

Harry didn't answer. He felt a surge of adrenaline fueled by hatred, burst inside him. His legs moved quicker, almost of their own accord and before he knew it, Harry was sprinting towards the door, his feet pounding the ground. Remus faltered for a fraction of a second.

It was only when he saw Harry whipping his wand from his jeans did he register what he was going to do. He sprung into action and rushed after him, hoping desperately he wouldn't do anything stupid before he caught up.

He sprinted down the corridor, his breath harsh in his chest as he watched Harry round a corner ahead of him. Remus called out, his own wand ready in his hand.

'Harry!' he called again, sliding around another corner and skidding into the wall. Harry was ahead, drumming forwards. Remus aimed his wand at his legs, incanted quickly and with a resounding crash Harry fell to the ground. He flung himself onto his back and raised his wand to Remus' chest.

His eyes were blazing – a fire there that Remus had never seen before, his face was pulled into a scowl; he looked _dangerous._

'Lower your wand,' Remus said, keeping his voice steady.

'Let me leave,' Harry said coldly, his wand unnervingly still.

'You need to _think_ -'

'I AM THINKING!' Harry thundered, leaping to his feet and marching forward a few steps. Remus stepped backwards once, lifting his head as Harry tried to thrust his wand against his neck.

'This can't go on any longer, I have to end this!'

'You can't!'

'Why?' Harry cried, 'WHY CAN'T I? Why can't I do what he does, why can't I just march in there and -

'And what, Harry?' Remus cut in sharply. 'Kill him? Single handedly? You are _not_ him, that is why you _won't_ and _can't_, because you're nothing like him!'

'I'm as good as,' Harry said, turning away. 'I need to do something.'

'Don't you think,' Remus said, reaching out to grab Harry's arm; his grip tight around his bicep, 'that after your parents died, after Sirius died that I wanted to run straight to Voldemort? I wanted to do something! – Anything! _Anything_ to avenge my friends!'

'So why are you telling me that I can't!' Harry cried, trying to pull his arm away. Remus held him tighter, tugging him forward so they were almost nose to nose.

'Because you'll be _killed_,' Remus growled. 'Dumbledore stopped me running off and doing something stupid, and I am trying to do the same for you!' He gave the boy a hard shake; Harry let his wand fall numbly from his fingers. 'I know you're hurting, _I know_, but if you go running off for revenge, you'll end up getting yourself killed. Do not let your grief overwhelm you, _use it_. Use it to fuel you whilst fighting Voldemort. If you let it overwhelm you it will control you.'

Harry lifted his shoulders in an attempt to shrug.

'I don't care.'

'Yes you do,' Remus said firmly. 'Because letting grief control you and letting it fuel you are two entirely different things. It is the difference between doing something foolish and doing something worthwhile.'

'I don't care,' Harry said, his voice suddenly quiet. It was such a contrast from his earlier screaming that it stunned Remus for a few moments. 'I don't – not anymore. He kills me...so what? Then he kills of that stupid bit that he's using to control me. Then it'll all be over and I won't have to feel anymore. I won't have to tear my heart out every time someone I care about dies.'

'And what about everyone who cares about you?' Remus said.

'Don't -'

'What about me? Dumbledore? What about Hermione, Mr and Mrs Weasley?'

'I JUST KILLED THEIR SON!' Harry roared. 'Of course they're not going to care!'

Harry staggered backwards a few steps, edging towards the door. Remus raised his wand, keeping one hand firmly on Harry's arm.

'I will hex you if I have to,' he said.

'Damn it Remus, listen to me!'

'No, you need to listen to me!' Remus said; the door to Harry's right slammed shut and locked with a click. Harry stood rigid, his breathing fast and angry.

'You did not kill Ron.'

'I was weak,' Harry said, his voice wavering slightly. 'I couldn't push him out because I'm weak. I killed Ron because I – AM – WEAK!'

'You are anything but, Harry,' Remus told him. Harry shook his head and let it drop down, running a hand across his face.

'You need to promise me something,' Harry said quietly. As he looked up, there were tears cascading down his cheeks, his face was blotchy and his jaw was trembling; his entire body was.

'What is it?'

'If Voldemort possesses me again...you have to kill me.'

Remus paused.

'And if I refuse?' he said eventually.

'Then I go now. I'll go to Voldemort, or I'll...I'll do it myself.'

Remus raised his eyebrows. 'Don't even joke about that kind of thing,' he said sharply.

Harry swallowed hard. 'I wasn't joking.'

'It will get easier,' he told Harry. 'I know it doesn't feel like it ever will, but it does. You won't feel like this forever.'

Harry's face crumpled again. 'I don't know how to live with this pain,' he said, his voice clogging with tears. 'It _hurts,_ so much.'

'I can help you,' Remus said. 'We all will. You don't need to make that kind of ultimatum with yourself, or with me.'

'But what else can I do?'

'You can keep living, for all of them.'


	19. Fear of trying

**Here we go then, chapter ninteen. Hope you all enjoyed the last one.  
>Drop me a review and let me know waht you think? I love hearing your feedback! <strong>

**Enjoy :)**

**Chapter nineteen**

_Fear of trying_

In years to come, when Harry looked back upon the week that passed after Ron's death, he would not be able to say much of what happened. The days passed in a blur, melting into a solid mass of endless time. Harry spent the days locking himself away in Sirius' room, just sitting, staring off into space. He couldn't even bring himself to think anymore; he just let the seconds pass and his mind numb over so he just merely existed, instead of lived. People would come, but they were just figures. They would speak, but all Harry heard was a vague noise; the words passing right over his head.

Remus was concerned, to say the least. He often stood in the doorway to Harry's room, watching as he stared off into one corner, loosing himself to solitude. He was refusing point blank to eat, not even acknowledging the food that Remus brought in for him. He hadn't moved from the bed in four days, only to sip his potion which he did every hour, three hours before he slept without fail. Remus had given up trying to speak with him; Harry wasn't ready to talk yet. Remus couldn't blame him. He'd been through so much in the past few months that it was only a matter of time before something of this nature happened, before he shut himself off from the world completely. He wasn't even sure Harry was aware of what was happening anymore. Voldemort couldn't possibly possess him now, for he'd take presence in an empty shell, and what use would that be if it wasn't causing someone to suffer.

The last he had seen Harry interact with anybody was with Dumbledore shortly after Ron had died.

'Severus has concocted a potion for you,' Dumbledore had said, ignoring the fact that Harry wasn't at all in the state to discuss things. He was clinging to Remus like his life depended on it, staring off into the distance with an odd, glassy look in his eyes.

'What does it do?' Harry said. '_Poison me_?'

'It will give the impression of sleep,' Dumbledore said and Harry understood immediately what he meant. Voldemort wouldn't be able to control him if he wasn't really asleep. That was one thing at least. Dumbledore gestured to the potion sat at the front of his desk and Remus picked it up; Harry almost snatched it from him.

'You must take one sip every hour, three hours before you head off to bed,' Dumbledore told him as Harry lifted up the large, cylinder shaped bottle to analyse it. 'Severus has only just mastered it, otherwise he would have given it to you sooner.'

'And what about when I'm awake,' Harry said, his voice coming harsher than he intended. 'Then what? I wasn't asleep then and Voldemort managed to - '

Dumbledore's face was hollow and grave, his age never showing more than in this moment. 'I know,' he said softly. 'But it was struggle for him to keep in control. You did wonderfully, Harry.'

'And how long does this have to go on?' Harry snapped. 'You're just going to let this continue to happen, until the moment comes when we can kill him?'

Dumbledore looked away towards the window.

'Only because we must.'

Even Remus had wanted to rage and storm at him then.

* * *

><p>Remus turned from the doorway and headed back downstairs, where he found Tonks sat at the kitchen table, nose deep in paper work. She looked up as he came in.<p>

'How is he doing?' she asked, putting down her file and pulling her legs up onto the chair.

Remus sighed heavily and ran a hand across his jaw line. 'No better,' he said. 'I don't know what to do – at this rate he's going to end up starving to death.'

'I can't imagine what on earth is going on inside his mind right now,' Tonks said quietly, looking up at the ceiling as though she could see through it. 'Everything that he's been through, I'm not surprised this hasn't happened sooner.'

'We're loosing him,' Remus said, his voice quiet. Tonks reached across the table and took his hand in hers. She squeezed it gently.

'I know you won't let that happen,' she said, smiling. 'You just need to find a way to get through to him, get a reaction out of him.'

Remus lifted his head to look at her, a crease in his brow. 'You can't possibly think - '

Tonks shrugged, playing with Remus' fingers gently. 'It's worth a try. A reaction, even if it is a negative one would be better than nothing.' She paused for a few moments, laying her head on her arm upon the table. 'How are you feeling?' she asked, startling him for a second.

'Oh,' he said, realising what she was referring to. 'I was more worried about Harry if I'm perfectly honest. He didn't do any lasting damage. St Mungo's were able to fix me up easily.'

'How come he was able to fight that, to save you,' Tonks asked curiously. 'But with Ron - ' she trailed off, swallowing the lump in her throat.

'Because Voldemort didn't have full control of him when he attacked me,' Remus told her. 'When he possessed Harry the other day, Harry was awake, he was aware of what was happening, but then so was Voldemort... he was just too powerful.'

'How's Molly?' Tonks asked.

Remus sighed wearily. 'As you would expect,' he said. 'This war has gone on long enough, and it hasn't even started yet.'

Tonks nodded in agreement. Their eyes met across the table and Tonks, brought back into the moment, realised she was still caressing his hand. She went to drop it hastily, but Remus held on, gazing back at her with an intense look on his face. She smiled back at him, wishing the butterflies in her stomach would settle down; she wasn't fourteen any more.

'Harry has been on at me about this for weeks,' Remus said quietly.

'I was swapping firewhisky shots for gossip on you,' Tonks said, grinning mischievously. At Remus' aghast look she added, 'Well, I had to be sure you liked me too.'

'You gave Harry firewhisky?'

Tonks shrugged. 'He was easily bribed.'

Remus laughed, stroking her hand, and was then distracted by a figure appearing in the doorway.

'Harry!' he said, startled.

The boy was stood just outside the kitchen, his hair standing on end and his pajamas rumpled. He was clutching a bottle tightly in one hand, staring at Remus and Tonks with a strange look on his face; like he'd just stumbled in on something really inappropriate.

'Sorry,' he mumbled, his voice barely audible.

'No, no,' Tonks said quickly, 'it's fine. Are you okay?'

Harry turned to Remus and handed him the potion bottle. 'I'm out of potion,' he said.

Remus nodded, placing it down on the table. 'I'll floo Severus,' he said.

'Can you do it now?' Harry muttered. 'I need it.'

Remus regarded him carefully for a few moments before getting up and walking round to the fireplace. 'Would you like some food, now that you're up?' he asked, throwing some powder down into the grate.

'I just want the potion,' Harry said, looking away. 'Then I'll be out of your way.'

'You're not in anybody's way, Harry,' Tonks said, getting up and offering him her seat. 'Go on, sit down and I'll make you some breakfast, though I warn you I'm pretty lousy at cooking.'

Harry stayed rooted to the spot, waiting for Remus to finish speaking into the fireplace. When he pulled his head out he turned to Harry.

'Severus will bring some over this evening.'

He could see Harry's body stiffen, even from across the room.

'What time this evening?' Harry asked uneasily.

'Don't worry, it'll be here in time,' Remus said.

Harry looked away again, unconvinced.

'Why don't you go and lie down, Harry,' Tonks said, collecting up her paperwork. 'You look exhausted. That stuff can't be doing you any favours.'

Remus cringed inwardly, wishing Tonks had been more tactful with her words. She seemed to realised also as she began to stutter an apology.

'Well, you know what I mean,' she said. 'Sorry, I didn't mean it like that – oh god, I'm just going to stop talking. I'll leave you to it.'

She almost ran from the room, dropping several papers as she went. Harry watched them scatter across the floor, not bothering to move when one floated down onto his foot.

'He'll be here,' Remus said again, moving towards Harry and pushing him into a chair. Harry let him, his body was aching and Tonks had been right. The potion only gave the illusion of sleep; his head was exhausted and it was only a matter of time before he eventually fell asleep for real.

'You realise you can't take this potion forever.'

Harry looked up at Remus with a defiant expression. 'I have to,' he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

'Voldemort won't possess you every night,' Remus said. 'He's done what he needs to for now.'

'I can't risk it.'

'You're going to make yourself ill.'

'I'm already ill,' Harry snapped. 'I've got a mad wizard inside my head. It that's not sick, I don't know what is.'

Remus sighed. 'I wish there was something I could do - '

'You know what you can do,' Harry said, looking up at him. Remus shook his head, looking away.

'I already said no, Harry. Dumbledore said we had to wait -'

'Why?' Harry snapped again. 'Why do we? If we do it now, just you and me, then it'll be over...'

'Think about what Dumbledore said,' Remus told him. 'We have to wait. If we kill off the part of him inside you, his actual body will have time to create something else to tether him to life. We can't take that risk.'

'I'm his prisoner,' Harry said. 'He's got me completely trapped. But...if I die - '

'Harry, stop it - '

'If I die, then he can't keep me anymore,' Harry went on. 'He can't have me. Or anyone else. He already took Ron, he's not going to take anybody else.'

'Can you hear what you're saying?' Remus said sternly. 'You're contemplating _suicide. _If you die then Voldemort would have won. If you die, then there's no coming back. You won't see Ginny ever again.'

'I'll see my parents.' Harry's voice had taken on an almost dream like quality. He was staring off into space with a strange smile, like the idea of death was very promising to him at this moment.

'You're letting him win,' Remus said. 'Everything that you've fought for over the years... Remember what you said to me in the hospital wing? You said that you weren't scared of fighting – and that's what you have to do now. It's started; it won't be long before we can finish this for good. But for now, you need to fight through this.'

Harry turned back to look at Remus, his face was hard and set again, like he'd suddenly been steamrolled with that memory. 'But I don't know what else to do...' he said quietly. 'This seems like the only option.'

Remus was shaking his head. 'It's not true, and you know it's not. It's just hard; everybody wants to give in when things get tough,' he said. 'But you're stronger than this, Harry. You have to keep fighting, if not for yourself then for your parents and for Sirius. For Ron.'

Remus got to his feet quickly, taking into account Tonk's earlier suggestion.

'Get dressed,' he told Harry, grabbing a fistful of floo powder. 'We're going to take a little trip.'

Harry shrank back in his chair. 'I don't really feel like it - '

'We're going,' Remus said firmly. 'There's something you need to see. This is for your own good.'

'Where are we going?' Harry asked quietly.

'Somewhere I should have taken you a long time ago.'


	20. Going home

**Here we are then! Chapter twenty. You guessed right in where Remus was going to take Harry! Hopefully it'll knock some sense back into him.  
>Please drop me a review and let me know what you think! I love reading your views.<br>Hope you enjoy :)  
><strong>

**Chapter Twenty**

_Going Home_

Wrapped up in a thick jacket, despite the sunshine outside, Harry made his way into the kitchen looking thoroughly miserable. The last thing he wanted to do was leave the house, but after Remus had insisted so strongly and practically chased him up the stairs to get ready, he'd finally obliged. He pushed open the kitchen door to find Tonks in all her bubblegum pink glory and next to her, looking sheepish, was Hermione. Harry faltered in the doorway for a few moments, unsure what to say. Hermione gave a small smile, and the next moment she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around Harry so tightly it knocked the breath out of him.

'Harry, I'm so sorry,' she said quietly.

Harry pulled away, shocked.

'What on earth are you sorry for?' he asked.

'I didn't even think how this would affect you – how Ron...' Hermione choked back a thick sob and quickly swiped a hand across her face.

'It's okay,' Harry cut in quickly. 'I'm the last thing you should be worried about.'

Hermione frowned at him, brushing her bush hair out of her face. 'Ron wouldn't want you to go on like this,' she told him firmly. Harry felt a twinge of irritation in his gut; apparently Remus and Tonks had filled her in on his behavior. 'Harry,' she continued, 'he wouldn't blame you.'

'Yeah? And how do you know that?'

Hermione gave a gentle smile. 'Because he loved you; you were his best friend.'

She gave him another squeeze and then turned to Remus and Tonks. 'Should we get going then?'

'You still haven't told me where we're going,' Harry said to Remus.

'You'll see when we get there,' Remus told him gently, before gesturing for the two teenagers to stand beside him. 'We're apparating; Tons will take Hermione and you'll come with me.'

Before Harry had chance to object, Remus had pulled him tight to his chest, counted to three and then turned on the spot. Harry felt the awful sensation of being turned inside out, all colours swirled in front of his eyes, and the next moment they'd appeared in a large cemetery, bursting with all kinds of strangely shaped gravestones. The minute their feet touched the ground Harry felt his heart lurch. He knew exactly where Remus had brought him; they'd come to see Ron's grave. He immediately tried to tug away from him but Remus kept a firm hold on his jacket.

'Hold on a minute,' he said firmly, steadying Harry with a sharp tug. 'Hermione and Tonks are going to stay here,' he told him. 'We have somewhere else to go.'

Harry turned his head to look up at him, feeling utterly confused. Tonks and Hermione inclined their heads towards Remus and then headed off in the opposite direction, along a row of particularly brightly coloured graves.

'We'll meet them back here,' Remus said, before pulling Harry into his chest again. 'One, two, three-'

Harry was once again squeezed down a drainpipe before popping back into existence somewhere else. This time, his eyes were clamped shut; though from disorientation or fear of his location, he wasn't sure.

'Look around, Harry,' Remus said gently.

Slowly, Harry opened his eyes. The sight before him nearly knocked him from his feet, he staggered backwards into Remus, desperate to get away.

'I don't want to -' he mumbled, trying to turn away.

'Look at them,' Remus said, keeping a firm hold and trying to turn Harry back around. 'This is what you're fighting for, Harry. Look at them!'

Harry tried to claw his way out of Remus' grasp but the older man was stronger. He lifted Harry off his feet and spun him, taking his chin in one hand and forcing him to look forward.

'Look at them,' he said again. 'These are the people who gave their lives for you. These are the people who you need to fight for. If you give up now, their deaths would have been for nothing.'

Harry stepped backwards again, pulling his chin out of Remus' grasp.

'Ron and Sirius would have died for nothing,' Remus went on, 'You need to make sure that doesn't happen. If you are not living for you, at least live for them. _Fight _for them!'

With one more shove, Remus forced Harry's head towards the two gravestones in front of them. Two names were faded into the stone; Lily and James Potter.

His parents.

An explosion of feelings burst with him; forcing away the numbness that had been encasing him since Ron's death. His legs felt weak, but Remus was beside him, holding onto him and steadying him. Harry didn't cry, or flail about in anger. Instead, he found himself just staring, taking in every piece of information he could from the small pieces of granite. That was all that was left of his parents; all the evidence that they had once been alive.

A series of thoughts shot through Harry's mind, the most prominent being that Remus had been right. His parents had died for him – the proof was right there in front of him and he'd been so ready to give up. So ready to call it quits. But that was the easy thing to do. As Dumbledore had once said; he had to make the choice between what was right, and what was easy. Giving up would mean Voldemort won and Harry knew he couldn't let that happen. Tom Riddle would continue to murder until somebody put a stop to it. And that was his job, Harry thought, though it wasn't tinged with bitterness as it would have been. He could do this. He was stronger, his parents sacrifice _made_ him stronger. He just needed reminding of that.

'Do you think they knew?' Harry asked quietly, feeling Remus step up beside him.

'Knew what?'

'How close I was to giving up?'

Remus was quiet for a few moments, his own eyes suspiciously watery. 'I don't think they would have thought any less of you,' he said gently. 'You've been through so much recently, it was only a matter of time before you felt you were loosing hope.'

Harry jerked a nod. 'But you knew,' he said, 'bringing me here – it would help, remind me.'

'I hoped it would,' Remus said.

Harry swiped at his eyes quickly with his jacket sleeve. 'I didn't ever imagine what it would feel like to see them...' he said, feeling a few rouge tears slip down his face.

'And how does it make you feel?' Remus pressed.

Harry sucked in a deep breath.' Like I've got something worth fighting for,' he said fiercely. 'If I give up, it would have all been for nothing.'

'And I don't think Ginny would have been too happy.'

Harry looked away, thrusting his fists deep into his jacket pockets. 'I haven't spoken to her, not since ...'

'She just needs some time to grieve,' Remus told him gently. 'Ginny loves you, she won't give up on you.'

'How can she still love me?' Harry murmurred. 'Even if it wasn't me who caused Ron's death – I still had a part to play.'

' A part that you could do nothing about,' Remus reminded him. 'Ron would not blame you; I am one hundred percent certain of that.'

'Would my parents?' Harry asked, the question bursting from his lips.

Remus shook his heard fiercely. 'Of course not,' he said. He placed his hands firmly on Harry's shoulders, giving them a shake. 'Harry look at me, I want you to listen to me very carefully.'

Harry dragged his eyes back up to Remus.

'It was not your fault.'

And finally, Harry believed him.

Before he realised what he was doing, Harry threw his arms around Remus, holding him as tightly as he could. Remus returned the hug with equal force, resting his chin on Harry's head.

'Thank you,' Harry said. He felt Remus nod against him and then they disappeared into a mirage of colours once more.

Harry only had a few seconds to right himself as Remus abruptly dropped him and rushed forward, his face suddenly draining of all colour. Harry blinked away the disorientation and then saw the reason why Remus had run off.

He only just caught it, but in the distance down beside Ron's grave there was a swirl of black, death eater robes and the crack of a double apparition. Harry's heart stuck in his chest as he faintly saw Tonk's disappearing into nothingness; her face a picture of complete defiance. Harry ran up beside to Remus who was staring at the point where Tonks had vanished, his breathing ragged and his fists balled tightly.

'Where's Hermione!' Harry said quickly. Remus didn't say anything, nor make any attempt to move. Harry spared him a quick glance and then sprinted up towards Ron's grave.

'Oh god, no,' he muttered, almost skidding onto his knees as he knelt down beside Hermione's frighteningly still body. She was laying face down next to Ron's grave, her hair matted to her head in a thick mess of red. Harry's stomach lurched.

'Hermione,' he said frantically. 'Can you hear me?'

He turned back to Remus.

'REMUS, help me please!'

Finally snapping out of his trance, Remus turned towards Harry and came rushing over; his wand firmly in his hand.

'Hermione! Hermione, it's okay. Remus is here, you're alright.'  
>Remus bent down beside her and, gently placing two hands over her torn shirt, he turned her over. He placed his wand to her temple and said firmly, 'Ennervate.'<p>

Slowly, and with what looked to be severe effort, Hermione managed to prise her eyes open. Her gaze was unfocused as she looked up at Remus.

'They took Tonks,' she managed to whisper. Harry turned to face Remus. For the first time, the look on his face was enough to scare Harry, so much so that he felt inclined to back away a few steps. Remus looked positively murderous; a look which did not suit the mans usually caring demeanor.

'Remus, she needs Poppy,' Harry told him.

With a quick nod, Remus got to his feet, pulling Hermione into his arms and tightly towards his chest. Her face was grey and waxy, her head lolled around as Remus stood.

'Hold tight,' Remus said, and Harry gripped hold of his arm just as the man began to turn on the spot.

They landed with such force that Harry was sure they'd made a hole in the kitchen floor. With Hermione in his arms, Remus started forward, before suddenly realising the kitchen was packed full of people.

Dumbledore stood in the doorway, his face grave; Mr and Mrs Weasley stood together, both of whom were looking shocked; Moody and Kingsley stood in the corner, eyes downcast; Bill and Charlie were shoulder to shoulder, their faces set, hands on their wands; Fred, George and Ginny beside them; McGonagall, Diggle and Emmeline Vance, and Snape who was beside Dumbledore but was now rushing forward to meet them. He placed two fingers aside Hermione's neck and then withdrew, directing Remus towards the sitting room. Harry tried to follow, but Snape stilled with a firm look, before heading out of the room.

'Oh my goodness,' Mrs Weasley whimpered, rushing forward to gather Harry up in her arms. 'What happened?'

Harry allowed her to coddle him for a few moments, before pulling away and addressing Dumbledore, though he was pretty sure Dumbledore already knew what had happened.

'Remus took me to visit my parents,' Harry said quietly; Dumbledore inclined his head knowingly. 'Hermione and Tonks went to see Ron' Harry went on, 'and when we came back, we found Hermione like that.'

'Did she say anything?' Dumbledore asked, moving forward and pushing Harry backwards into a chair; Harry hadn't realised he was shaking.

'She said that they took Tonks,' Harry said. Dumbledore nodded, apparently he knew this. 'We have to help her,' Harry said, knowing what the resigned look on the headmasters face meant.

'We cannot rush,' he said.

'You told me I would know when the time came,' Harry said getting to his feet and moving forward so only Dumbledore could hear him.

'You cannot use that as an excuse to run headfirst into danger - '

'I'm not,' Harry cut in, ignoring the surprised looks that went around the room. 'I'm ready. What Remus showed me today...I'm ready, I can do this.'

Dumbledore regarded Harry silently for a few moments. The rest of the room shuffled in an uncomfortable silence, eager to hear what Dumbledore would say next. He gave the room a sweeping glance, taking in the looks on everyone's faces (Lupin and Snape had reappeared in the doorway) and then looked back to Harry.

'It is time,' he said finally.


	21. It's started

**Hello everyone! Thank you for all the story alerts and reviews for last chapter.  
>I loved writing the second half to this chapter! Snape is so much fun to write. And thank goodness Harry is somewhat back to normal. Although we all love a bit of Harry angst, it gets super depressing to write lol!<br>Hope you guys enjoy! Drop me a review and let me know what you think.  
><strong>

**Chapter twenty one**

_It's started_

Harry sat quietly beside Hermione's make shift bed in the sitting room. He watched the gentle flutter of her eyelids, the slow rise and fall of her chest, thanking god for keeping her alive. He ran a hand across his face, unaware of just how tired he felt until now. He felt a gentle hand upon his shoulder.

'Go and get some rest, Harry,' Remus said quietly, taking him by the elbow and pulling him to his feet.

'I don't want to leave her,' Harry said.

'She's sleeping – she'll be fine. Severus and I will watch her.'

Harry looked up at Remus, fear evident on his face. 'I don't want to sleep – not without that potion.' Remus opened his mouth to reply, but another voice cut him off.

'The Dark Lord will not possess you tonight.'

Snape appeared suddenly in the doorway, a large collection of vials in one hand and a book nestled in the crook of his arm. He marched forwards towards Hermione, almost bundling Harry out of the way, and settled himself in the chair beside her. Harry cocked his head, bewildered by the almost paternal expression Snape was wearing.

'How can you be so sure of that?' he said.

Snape cocked an eyebrow at him curiously. 'Having been a servant of the Dark Lord for many years, I am somewhat attuned to his behavior,' he said, setting the vials on the table next to him. 'He will know we are coming, I am most sure of that.'

Harry and Remus exchanged a wary glance. 'So how come he's just waiting for us?' Harry asked.

'Because, Potter, the Dark Lord believes this will be an easy victory for him,' Snape said, now paying more attention to his book than the two men in front of him. 'With the ability to possess you, he believes the battle is won.' Snape tore his eyes away from the page and looked Harry directly in the eye. An unfamiliar expression swept across his face as he did so, and he turned away quickly, not quite blushing. 'He will not possess you tonight,' he finished, and then held his book high above his face, signaling the conversation was over. Remus took this as his opportunity to drag Harry from the room and up the stairs, the boy's protests falling on death ears.

'Hermione will be fine,' Remus reassured him. 'Severus patched her up when we returned, there was no serious harm done.'

'You're sure?' Harry demanded, turning around and halting mid step. Remus smiled at him gently.

'I am one hundred percent positive, now if you don't move up these stairs I will be forced to spell you to sleep.'

Harry scowled at him.

'How can you be so laid back,' he snapped suddenly. 'Voldemort has Tonks. He's taken her, you know he's probably going to kill her - '

'He won't kill her,' Remus said quietly.

Harry raised his eyebrows, startled at Remus' tone. 'How can you be so sure?' he asked.

Remus cocked his head to the side, regarding Harry with a soft gaze.

'If not belief, what do we have?'

Harry was stunned into silence for a few moments.

'Tonks said that to me once.'

Remus nodded sadly. 'And to me,' he said. 'And at this moment, it has never held more truth.'

'I'm sorry,' Harry said quickly. 'For snapping – it's just -'

'I know,' Remus cut in.

'You must be so worried. I know I am and I'm not even the one in love with her.'

'I told her, you know,' Remus said, attempting to push Harry back up the stairs again.

'Really?'

'In sorts. But I'm very sure she knows how I feel about her now.'

Harry smiled at his friend gently. 'Did she return the feelings?'

Remus had the courtesy to allow a small blush to grace his face, but said nothing.

'We leave tomorrow evening,' Remus told Harry as they reached his bedroom door. 'There's a meeting in the morning to finalise plans.'

Harry faltered in the doorway, swallowing hard. 'I can't believe this is finally happening.'

Remus looked at him worriedly.

'I thought you said you were ready?'

'I am!' Harry insisted. 'I really am. It's just - '

'You don't know how it'll feel for all of this to finally come to an end?'

Harry nodded. 'It's been my whole life,' he said quietly. 'And for all I know, this time tomorrow I could be dead.'

'As could I,' Remus said.

Harry breathed a silent sigh of relief, pleased that someone else was harboring the same fears as he was. Taking the opportunity of being alone, Harry walked forward and hugged Remus as tightly as he could, hoping the action would communicate what he wasn't sure he could say in words. Remus returned his hug with equal force, pulling Harry tightly into his chest.

'Are you afraid?' Harry mumbled.

'If you'd asked me that several months ago, I would have said yes,' Remus said, holding Harry at arms length. 'I used to believe there was no place in heaven for a creature like me.'

Harry's eyes grew wide.

'You really believed that?' he said, stunned. 'Remus, being a werewolf can't change how pure your heart is or how good your intentions are. For you, it's an affliction. For Greyback, it is an addiction. He would have been pulled to the darkside long before he was bitten and that makes all the difference in the world...' He trailed off awkwardly. 'What?'

Remus was smiling broadly at Harry, shaking his head gently. Harry cocked an eyebrow.

'_What_?' he asked again.

'When did you become so insightful?'

'You didn't answer the question,' Harry reminded him with a smirk.

Remus took a deep breath. 'I'm not afraid anymore,' he said. 'Thanks to you.'

Harry felt himself blush but grinned up at Remus anyway. The two friends filtered into silence and just looked at each other for a few moments, both lost in thoughts.

But, out of nowhere, Harry's suddenly began to turn increasingly sour. Hours ago, when they'd returned home from the graveyard with an unconscious Hermione, he'd been so ready to fight, but out of honesty, for the good of the wizarding community. But now the time was actually dawning, his stomach began to churn with an unfamiliar hatred and he felt consumed by a strange desire for revenge.

The stomach turning anger suddenly welled up in his chest and threatened to suffocate him, choke him. He held it back, pushing it down until it was simmering gently in the pit of his stomach. All those sadistic, cruel deeds that Voldemort had used him to carry out, and soon he'd be able to put an end to it. How Harry wished he could make him suffer. How he wished to tear him apart bit by bit.

A firm voice suddenly cut through his reverie.

'You're not him, Harry,' Lupin said, placing his hands on Harry's shoulders. 'He may be a part of you at the moment, but you are nothing like him. Stay true to yourself. Stay true to who you really are.'

Harry let the words wash over him again as the memories of what had occurred over the last few weeks came crashing through his mind.

'Harry,' Remus said sharply. 'This is not the way to go into war. You must fight for good, not for revenge.'

'I know,' Harry said quietly, still struggling with the burst of anger within him. 'I don't want to fight like this. I don't know how to make these feelings go away.'

'First of all, you need to start breathing again,' Remus said, giving him a slap on the back. Harry hadn't even realised he'd been holding his breath. 'Just focus on everything you were thinking at the graveyard. Bring that to the forefront of your mind. Your desire for revenge can be fulfilled once Voldemort is dead, but do not let that be the reason you are fighting.'

'It's not,' Harry said. 'I don't think it ever was.'

The next morning, Harry woke slowly as the sun began to seep through the curtains. He rolled over and checked the clock hovering above his bedside table. The green flashing numbers told him it was only just 7 AM.

In less than twelve hours the Order would be heading off into battle - firstly, to ambush Voldemort's headquarters and rescue Tonks and then to finish him off once and for all (though Harry knew things wouldn't ever be that simple.) He'd eat his wand if they all got out of there unscathed.

He swallowed hard and laid staring up at the ceiling, his heart pounding furiously in his chest. Odd, how it beat so valiantly on what could potentially be the last day of his life.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself out of bed. After throwing on some clothes and washing quickly, Harry headed downstairs. He faltered by the sitting room door, listening for any signs of life beyond. Just as he was about to risk entry, the door swung open and Snape appeared, grabbing Harry by the arm and pulling him inside. The door closed quickly behind them.

In the softly lit room, Harry could see the lines etching Snape's sallow skin. He was no older than Lupin, but appeared far more lined ,though he still retained his curtain of dark hair. Years of servitude to the Dark Lord had obviously taken their toll on Severus Snape.

The Potions Master settled himself in the chair he'd taken the previous night, Harry was unsure whether he'd moved at all, and gingerly brushed the hair out of his face. Harry noticed his arm was trembling somewhat; the dark mark stood out brashly against his pale flesh.

'Your mother wouldn't have wanted you to fight,' Snape said suddenly, filling the tense silence in the room.

Harry whipped his head up to look at him.

'Sorry?' he spluttered.

'Your mother,' Snape said evenly, 'She would not want you to risk your life.'

Speechless, Harry just stared across the room at Snape, whose own eyes were fixed on Harry like a hawk. It was the first time Harry had ever seen a spark of life within the dark orbs; the mention of his mother had done that.

'How would you know what my mother would want?' Harry said. Snape rolled his eyes.

'Potter, if you have forgotten already that I knew your mother, perhaps it would be best for you to stay at home this evening. Your forgetfulness will only bring more risk to yourself or, worse, to others.'

Harry waved a hand dismissively. 'Yeah, I know that you knew each other, but how well did you know her? I mean, Remus didn't even realise you two were keeping secrets together.'

'There were many things that your father and his circle of friends were unaware of.'

Harry's eyebrows shot up his forehead. 'And what does that mean?' he asked warily.

'Your mother and I knew each other from when we were children – before even Lily knew she was a witch. We grew up together, in the same neighborhood, through school and eventually through Hogwarts. It was only when your father came into the picture did your mothers and my friendship...dwindle, shall we say.'

'Friendships don't dwindle,' Harry cut in quickly. 'If you were really friends, then you wouldn't have let my father come between you...' he trailed off quietly, lost in the look ghosting across Snape's face.

'Ah,' Harry said awkwardly. 'You didn't just think as my mum as a friend, did you.'

Snape had the courtesy to shake his head and look away; Harry followed his lead, feeling more and more bewildered as the conversation went on.

'Before your mother died, she asked me to do one last thing for her.'

Snape looked back to Harry; his adams apple dipped anxiously before he spoke. 'She and I made an unbreakable vow.'

Harry shook his head. 'What!'

'Potter, if you cannot work it out for yourself - '

'No, I understand,' Harry said quickly. 'But, why did you agree? If you fell out over my dad...'

'As you said, true friendships never dwindle,' Snape said. 'I would have done anything for your mother.'

'Why are you telling me this?' Harry asked, his eyes travelling to Hermione who appeared to be fast asleep on the sofa, her head gently falling to one side. 'Why now?'

'Because,' Snape went on, 'the promise I made your mother is about to be fulfilled or broken. If I have my way, I will fulfill her wishes.'

Harry nodded awkwardly. 'Okay,' he said. 'What was the promise you made her? This unbreakable vow, what was it?'

'I promised her that I would keep you alive.'

Harry's jaw dropped.

'And what happens if you break this unbreakable vow?' he asked shakily.

Snape shifted on the sofa.

'I will die.'

Harry felt like his stomach had dropped to his knees. Snape of all people, promising to keep him alive? After all that hatred between him and James, after all the bitterness that had occurred through Harry's school years, Snape was still prepared to die in order to keep him alive.

'Is this why you said my mother wouldn't want me to fight?' Harry said angrily. 'Because you want to keep yourself alive?'

'I am not worried about how I will fare,' Snape said heatedly. 'But because I made a vow to your mother, one that I would like to keep – not for my sake, Potter, but for your mother and for what remains of her now. For you.'

'But you hate me!' Harry almost cried.

'It does not affect the situation,' Snape said. 'We have our differences, but we also have one thing in common, and sometimes that is all it takes. You must not fear it Potter, for our fates were entwined long before you were alive.'


	22. Saying goodbye

******Here's chapter twenty two!  
>There is a rather ridiculously 'bluergh' Harry and Ginny moment at the end of the chapter. Personally, I HATE Harry and Ginny. I always thought it was the most unlikely match, but hey ho! Hope you guys enjoy.<strong>

**Chapter twenty two**

_Saying goodbye_

Harry stared across the room at Snape, a frown puckering his brow.

A cog suddenly whirred inside his head; it seemed to click loudly into place.

'This is what I dreamt about, isn't it,' he said, placing his hand against the doorframe to steady himself as the memories of the past weeks came rushing back. 'The promise you made to my mother, the secret you've kept from everyone – it was the un breakable vow you made.'

Snape's face was void of any emotion as Harry continued.

'You mean nobody knows about this? Did my dad know?'

Snape placed his book upon the table and folded his arms. He gazed away as he spoke.

'As I said, there were many things that your father was unaware of.'

'And what about your promise to Dumbledore,' Harry cut in quickly, eager to say everything that was on his mind. 'In my dream, you said you'd kept your promise to Lily and to Dumbledore -'

'Even I am yet to discover what promise I made to Albus,' Snape cut in, a curious look in his eye.

Harry tired to stop his jaw from hanging open again. He leant harder against the doorframe as the images of his dream burst through his mind. Snape had clearly mentioned a promise to Dumbledore – but if Snape didn't know anything about it…

'It hasn't happened yet,' Harry breathed.

'Apparently not,' Snape said.

'But if we die tonight, then it won't happen...'

'Perhaps it is not meant to happen,' Snape suggested, glancing quickly at Hermione who appeared to still be sound asleep. 'Perhaps the Dark Lord was just attempting to make you question your judgment about Albus, just as he tried to do with me.'

Harry shook his head. 'But you sounded so sure so, _relieved _almost, that you'd not broken your promise to Dumbledore. Surely that has to mean something.'

Snape watched him curiously for a moment.

'Do not get ahead of yourself,' he said quietly, his brow creased.

'I'm not,' Harry insisted.

Snape cut in quickly.

'You are,' he said coldly. 'You are giving yourself false delusions.'

It was Harry's turn to frown. 'What?'

'You believe because this _'promise'_ is still yet to happen, it therefore must. You believe this will ensure you survive this evening.'

Harry faltered for a few moments. He hadn't even realised he'd been thinking that but, as the words fell from Snape's lips, he realised that's exactly what had passed through his mind.

'It has to mean something,' Harry said again. 'Voldemort wouldn't plant that inside my mind without a reason.' He scratched his head for a moment, his eyes clouded with thought as he leant against the doorframe again. 'You said yourself, Voldemort wanted me to see that dream...what was he trying to tell me...'

'Potter, you are setting too much store by this - '

'But you said!'

'I know what I said,' Snape growled. 'But that does not ensure that whatever happened in your dream will happen in the future. Nobody can predict the future. It is impossible.'

Harry shook his head defiantly. 'No, this means something. I'll figure it out -'

He stopped speaking abruptly as Snape suddenly marched across the room and took him forcefully by the arms, giving him a hard shake.

'You cannot allow this to control your mind,' he said. 'You are going into battle this evening, you will need to be focused.'

'But I need to figure this out,' Harry said quietly, his eyes almost pleading.

'Why? Snape breathed. '_Why_ is this so important to you?'

'Because I need to know what you are going promise Dumbledore!' Harry said. 'I need to make sure you don't do something as ridiculous as making an unbreakable vow to keep me alive! I cannot have that on my conscience, no matter what your reasons were for doing it...didn't you even stop to think about how I would feel about this?'

Snape looked taken aback for a few moments. He relinquished his hold on Harry's arms.

'This bothers you?' he asked curiously.

'Of course it does!' Harry almost cried. 'I don't want another person's death on my shoulders, I can't handle that.'

'Potter, it is almost guaranteed that people will loose their lives tonight -'

'That's different!' Harry argued. 'Everyone is fighting for a better world. If they die, they'll know they died trying to make a better place. If you die, it would have been because you didn't keep your promise to my mother.'

'A worthy death then,' Snape said.

Harry threw his hands up in the air, completely exasperated. 'This is insane!' he said. 'One minute you can't stand the sight of me, and the next I find out you've made an unbreakable vow to keep me alive. You have essentially resigned yourself to death.' He spun around, ready to head out of the door when another thought suddenly struck him. Harry turned back to Snape, who was still staring at him.

'Why you?' he said. 'Why did my mum pick you to do it. She had other friends, Remus could have done it, Dumbledore even. Why _you_?'

'Because she knew I would do what needed to be done,' Snape said.

Harry shook his head. 'And what does that mean?'

Snape hesitated for a few moments. 'It means...that I would not break the vow – whatever it took, I would not break your mothers vow. That is why she chose me.'

Cursing Snape for the bombshell he'd just dropped on him, Harry left Hermione sleeping in the front room and Snape pondering over his thoughts. He was sure there was something more, something Snape wasn't telling him. What had gone on between him and his mother all those years ago...

Harry pushed open the door to the kitchen and wandered inside, almost colliding with a figure beside the table.

'Good morning.'

Breaking free of his thoughts, Harry was startled to find Ginny standing beside him, a gentle smile gracing her face.

'How're you feeling?' she said.

Harry looked around, feeling like he was beginning to go mad.

'What are you doing here?' he asked. 'Do your parents know you're here?'

Ginny nodded. 'They were the ones who told me to come actually,' she said quietly, beckoning Harry over to take a seat. 'You're leaving this evening, aren't you?'

Harry nodded, turning around so they were sitting face to face. He gazed at her, taking in every tiny feature of her face. If this were to be the last time they saw each other, he wanted to take the time to remember how beautiful she was.

'It'll all finally be over,' Harry said, reaching forward to take her hand.

'And what will come of you?' Ginny said quietly. 'What happens if you die?'

Harry shrugged. 'Then you grieve and you move on,' he said.

'And what if I don't want to move on?'

'Ginny, this is something I have to do...'

'I know,' she said softly. 'I wouldn't dream of stopping you from going. I just...want you to know how I feel before you leave. If it's going to be the last time I ever see you.'

She reached forward and cupped his face with her hand. She pulled him towards her slowly and the next thing Harry knew, her lips were upon his. His entire body tingled and he pulled her into his arms, suddenly aware of everything that he could be giving up come this evening. His heart almost split in two at the thought of never seeing her again.

'You are the bravest person I've ever met,' she whispered softly into his ear. 'Never forget that. Even when you feel like all hope is lost - ' she placed her hand gently over his heart – 'it's what is in here that counts. Do not let him conquer that.'

Harry nodded, leaning forward to rest his forehead against hers. They sat in silence for a few moments, just the sound of their breathing filling the room; he played with her fingers softly in his hand.

'Ginny, can you ever forgive me for what happened to Ron?' he said.

'Harry – it wasn't your fault -'

'Just, please,' he cut in quickly. 'Say you forgive me, I need to hear it from you.'

Ginny kissed him swiftly on the lips once more.

'I forgive you,' she said, before rising from the table and heading over to the fireplace. She took a fistful of floo powder before turning back to him and smiling, her eyes brimming with tears.

'I love you,' she said, before stepping backwards into the grate and then she vanished in a cloud of emerald green.

Harry sat at the table, feeling completely numb. His hands trembled in front of him, his knees felt unsteady and he was glad to be seated. His head was swimming with a thousand thoughts and feelings, his body shivering, his lungs constricted. But, deep down within his chest he felt the steady pulse of life within him. The thing urging him to do what was right, to go and fight for Ron, for Sirius, for his parents, for Ginny, even for Snape, his heart clanging against his ribs gave him the courage to get to his feet when Dumbledore suddenly appeared in the doorway and gave a nod of his head.

He'd never felt more terrified in his life – but he was ready.


	23. Preperations

**Here we are then, chapter twenty three. A relatively short chapter before the beginning of the end!  
>enjoy.<strong>

**Chapter twenty three**

_Preparations_

After a few moments silence in which everybody took their time seating themselves, the table finally began to relax. The buzz of apprehension and excitement which had vibrated the room in prior meetings had returned. Dumbledore seated himself at the head of the table, tucking his wand into his robes. The room was full of everybody who was going to be fighting – Harry was surprised at just how many people had crammed themselves into the small kitchen. As well as the Order, there were several older students that had come from Hogwarts and a number of witches and wizards that Harry had never seen before. Snape stood warily in the corner, his arms folded and his eyes glued to the back of Harry's head.

Kingsley Shaklebolt cleared his throat and got to his feet.

'We all know the plan,' he said, addressing the room. Several heads around the table nodded. 'We wait until Dumbledore gives us the signal.'

'Who is to go to their hideout?' Mrs Weasley called from the end of the table. Her hands were wound tightly around Arthurs, their faces both pale yet frightfully determined. This time, it was Dumbledore who got to his feet.

'There will be five,' he said quietly. 'Remus, Bill, Charlie, Kingsley and Severus.'

Harry whipped his head up from where it had been resting upon his hand.

'I want to go,' he said. 'I want to help find Tonks.'

'Harry, I - '

'This is my battle,' Harry reminded Dumbledore. 'And if it starts at his headquarters rescuing Tonks, then I want to be there.'

Dumbledore exchanged a wary glance with several others until finally relenting and giving his head a small nod.

'If you wish,' he said quietly.

Harry looked across the table at Remus, who was smiling, somewhat nervously, back at him.

'Then that is settled,' Dumbledore continued. 'We have our volunteers. Once Tonks has been rescued, it will not be long until Voldemort follows. We all know the next part of the plan. Has anybody any questions?'

Nobody raised their hands.

'Right,' Kingsley said, pushing out his chair and heading towards the fireplace. 'We have exactly one hour before we leave. Those of us going to Voldemort's hideout should stay behind so we can go over our plan one last time. Harry will need to know where he fits in.'

The room filtered out slowly; Harry didn't miss the fleeting glances that Mr and Mrs Weasley shot him, nor the concerned faces of Diggle and Vance, even McGonagall was wearing a frown far too relaxed – people were nervous and nerves would only count for one thing. Mistakes.

Speaking from experience, Harry knew once thrust into the throes of battle, things would become instinctive. But he himself, had never had to prepare for one before. In the past, he Ron and Hermione would make an impulsive decision and when they did finally have time to form a plan, it was usually too late...

'Harry?'

Harry was pulled from his reverie by Remus' voice. He realised he was still sat firmly within his seat, the others had gathered around a map Kingsley had produced from his robe pockets. Snape was at the back of the group, acting as though he didn't need to look where he would be going. Whether that was a good thing, Harry wasn't quite sure...

'Sorry',' he said quickly, getting to his feet and joining them. 'So, what's the plan? Surely Voldemort will notice of the six of us apparate directly into his hideout.'

Harry watched as Snape resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

'We'll be going in twos,' Kingsley said. 'Myself and Severus, you and Remus, and Bill and Charlie. From what Severus has told us, there are four different entry points – we will be covering three of them.' He pulled the map open across the table to reveal a large coil of tunnels and corridors. Harry stared at it suddenly feeling way out of his depth. 'These are the corridors you'll be taking,' Kingsley continued, pointing to two sets of squiggly lines way out to the east. 'Severus and I will take these ones, and Bill and Charlie will take those. We have twenty minutes to search our way through the hideout until we meet here - ' he circled a large room on the map ' - where Tonks should be. Once we have her and if we can, we apparate directly out to the meeting point in the forbidden forest. Dumbledore has lifted the wards for now,' he explained, as Harry was about to bring him up on that point. 'If we cannot apparate for any reason, we take these three corridors and head outside. If we get separated, keep following the walls, this is essentially just a circle of rooms, we'll bump into each other eventually.'

'And if we get captured?' Bill asked.

'Red sparks,' Kingsley said. 'A time old method, but it works. We'll know where you are.'

'Why won't we be able to apparate out?' Harry asked nervously.

'It won't take long for Voldemort to realised we're within his headquarters, Harry,' Remus told him. 'He may cast anti apparition wards to stop us from escaping.'

'We also imagine the place to be crawling with Death Eaters,' Kingsley added quickly. 'Severus informed us there was a meeting not too long ago.' He turned to Harry, his face suddenly hard. 'Expect to fight,' he said firmly. 'If you are not prepared to kill you will need to stun and you'll need to do a good job of it. This isn't the time to fool around. Voldemort means business. We know he's there, and he'll probably we waiting for us.' Harry felt his stomach reel slightly. He resisted the urge to raise an eyebrow at Kingsley's harsh words and shared a quick glance with Remus who, judging from the scowl on his face thought the same as him.

'Harry knows all that,' Remus said. Kingsely looked up from his map, gave Remus a quick nod and then gathered his parchment back into his robe pockets.

'We leave in thirty minutes.'

Harry didn't miss Kingsleys jittering shoulders as he swept past. Apparently, even the most experienced Aurors suffered from nerves.

Bill and Charlie followed him quickly, muttering to each other about counter curses and jinxes, their faces alight with determination. Harry was just about to question Remus about something when Snape cleared his throat behind them.

'It would seem Miss Granger has awoken.'

Harry turned and Snape gestured towards the door. Hermione, looking pale and tired, was stood in the doorway, her hair far more frazzled than usual.

'So,' she said. 'What's the plan?'

* * *

><p>'Are you insane, Hermione?' Harry spluttered. 'You've literally just woken up.'<p>

Hermione folded her arms across her chest, scowling as much as she could, given the large bruise that had formed over her right eye. She stopped quickly with a wince and relaxed her expression.

'Harry, I am more than capable - '

'Are you forgetting what the Death Eaters did you back at the grave yard?' Harry said. 'You could have died!'

'And how many times have you almost died this year?' Hermione snapped back at him. She shook her head. 'That's besides the point. Harry, I want to fight. Don't you see, I _have_ to do this. Not just for myself... but for every muggle born out there terrified of what Voldemort will do to them. For my parents who won't be able to sleep safely in their beds.' She paused and her eyes brimmed with tears. 'For Ron,' she said. 'Surely, you of all people can understand that.'

Harry chewed his bottom lip anxiously. Of course he understood that. How could he not? How could he deny her the right to fight?

'I don't want anything to happen to you,' he said. 'We've already lost Ron - '

'How many times do you have to be told?' Hermione said angrily. 'People want to fight, we all have our own reasons for this battle. You are not the only one who has a debt to settle.'

Harry swallowed hard. Deep down he knew Hermione was right. And deep down he knew he could say nothing to deter her. She'd be at the battle, fighting alongside him whether he liked it or not. As Ron had said to him once, '_Just, accept our help and be grateful for it_.'

And that was all he was going to be able to do.

He blew a resigned breath through his nose. 'Okay,' he said quietly. 'Dumbledore's organised everything.' He raised his head to look at Hermione. Her eyes were wide, but she was staring at him intently. 'The Order, all the Aurors Kingsley was able to recruit from the Ministry and anybody else who wants to fight are going to apparate to the clearing in the forbidden forest. Dumbledore will lift the wards so you can get in easily. Once our team gets back with Tonks, we'll meet you in the clearing. It won't be long before the Death Eaters decide to follow us and until Voldemort arrives we just have to hold our own.'

Hermione regarded Harry silently for a few moments. 'And what happens when Voldemort arrives.'

'Dumbledore makes the first move,' he said bitterly. 'He's made that very clear. He wants me to wait for the opportune moment.'

Hermione gave a quick nod. 'Rightly so,' she said. At Harry's scathing look she said, 'We only have one chance to get this right.'

Harry's heart began to flutter anxiously. He realised in that moment that he hadn't told either Ron or Hermione about what the plan concerning him and Voldemort. He hadn't had a chance to tell Ron...after what happened... but Hermione – he still had time.

He opened his mouth to speak, but words seemed to fail him. Could he tell his remaining best friend that in order for Voldemort to die, he himself would have the killing curse thrown at him once more? Could he also burden her with the fact that if Voldemort possessed him at the time, he could drag Harry into death with him – that either way, there was a high chance that Harry wouldn't make it out of there alive? He swallowed again and turned to Hermione. She was sat patiently, aware that he wanted to say something. He opened his mouth once more, but the door was suddenly pushed open and Remus, Snape and Kingsley appeared in the doorway. All three had their wands at the ready.

'It's time,' Remus said gently.

Hermione immediately threw her arms around Harry, before he even had a chance to stand.

'See you on the other side,' she said, kissing him quickly on the cheek. 'Please be careful.'

Harry smiled at her before pulling away. 'I'll do my best,' he said.

He followed the three men into the kitchen, leaving a wet faced Hermione in the living room. Bill and Charlie were waiting at the table, their faces full of apprehension.

Dumbledore was stood beside the door.

'I wish you the best of luck, gentlemen,' he said softly. He chanted a quiet '_Portus_' and held up a rather soggy looking wellington boot. It began to glue blue and Harry just managed to get his hand to it in time before everything swirled inside out and Dumbledore was whipped from his vision.


	24. The fortress part 1

**Here we go then, chapter twenty four. I think I was half asleep when I wrote this chapter so there might be some spelling errors or it may be rubbish in general!  
>Anyway, finally we're off to Voldemorts 'lair' woop!<br>Enjoy. **

**Chapter twenty four**

_The fortress. Part 1_

They appeared on the edge of a grassy cliffside with a splintering crack; the boot fell to the ground, forgotten. Harry stumbled forward as he tried to regain his footing; Remus lunged forward and caught him by the elbow just before he toppled over the edge. Harry's stomach gave an uncomfortable squirm. At least 70 feet below them was a surging river, winding through the trees for as far as the eye could see. Harry could hear the roaring waters from where they were stood.

Leading down to the river was a craggy pathway, broken, chipped and falling away into the oblivion below.

'We couldn't have apparated closer?' Bill remarked sourly, testing his footing on the top of the pathway.

Kingsely shook his head. 'The wards go this far back,' he said.

'Where is this place anyway?' Charlie said, stepping forward to peer over the edge.

Snape muttered a Lumos and guided them to look at a certain point in the distance. Harry squinted. He could just make out a building through the darkness, surrounded by thick forest. The trees overhung like claws and disjointed arms, giving the fortress an even more ominous feel.

'How do we get there?' he asked, breaking a tense silence. He eyed the rocky path anxiously.

Snape didn't speak, but answered his question by heading forward, stowing his wand within his robes and stepping gracefully off the side of the cliff. Harry stifled the urge to cry out as he and the others ran forward. Breathing a silent sigh of relief, he saw Snape beginning to make his way down the slope and onto the pathway.

'Right,' Kingsely said, pushing Bill and Charlie forward. 'I guess we should get moving. We've got a good walk before we even reach the fortress.'

Bill jumped down first, then reached up to help Charlie who was hovering nervously at the edge. Bill gave an irritable sigh.

'Charlie, you work with _dragons_ for merlins sake -'

'I know,' Charlie snapped, taking Bills hand. 'But this is high up.'

Harry and Remus jumped down next, followed by Kingsley who landed awkwardly on an upturned root. Remus steadied him swiftly and they began their rocky descent down the cliffside.

Before long, they'd reached the bottom of the path where the river spread wide across to the forest the other side. Harry eyed the racing current with caution.

Charlie made to pull out his wand but Kingsley quickly placed a hand around his arm.

'No magic,' he said. 'They'll be able to pinpoint our location.'

'Then how do you suggest we get across?' Charlie said. 'I don't fancy my chances swimming.'

'We'll have to find the weakest point,' Remus said.

'Downstream, there's a crossing.' Kingsley gestured down to their right. 'It's not ideal, but it's safer.'

Harry felt Remus place a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He thought it unnecessary as he didn't have any problem with water, but it brought comfort anyway.

They trudged down the rivers edge in single file. The ground was muddy and prone to falling away underfoot, as Charlie had already discovered. Luckily Snape lunged out and caught him just as he began to slip into the river. He was now scowling in the darkness, as though it were Charlie's fault his robes were sodden and sticky with mud.

'There,' Snape muttered suddenly, coming to an abrupt halt.

Here, the river was shallower; Harry could see the rocks underneath the ripples of water. Harry was just about to protest how unsteady they looked when there was a loud crack, one of the rocks gave way and was swept up by the current. He looked nervously at Remus who looked as though he was thinking the same thing.

'There is no other place to cross,' Snape told them, catching the looks on their faces.

'I'll go first,' Kingsley said and before anyone could object he had pulled up his robes and stepped straight out into the river.

The water lapped viciously at his knees and he struggled for a few moments as he tried to gain his footing. He moved quickly up onto the first rock and then followed the others until he'd reached the far side.

'Watch as you get in,' he told Bill who was stepping up to go next. 'The current has got some force behind it.'

Bill, followed by Charlie and Snape made the journey across the stepping stones with relative ease; Charlie had slipped again, this time on a rock that was beginning to untangle itself from a bed of weeds it was resting in. Snape quickly righted him again and gave him a sharp warning to get his act together.

'After you, Harry,' Remus said, gesturing for Harry to go next.

Gingerly, Harry waded out into the river. The water was ice cold, biting into the skin around his knees and gluing his trousers to his calves. He shivered and pulled his foot up onto the first rock. Steadying himself, he stepped over to the next rock and followed the natural pathway to land the other side. He was no more than halfway across when a loud crunch froze him to the spot. He looked up; Snape and Kingsely were looking around.

'Harry, don't move!' Remus called from behind them.

Another crunch, louder this time, and Harry felt the rock beneath his feet begin to move. He thrust his arms out to stop himself toppling into the river altogether.

'Harry, keep moving. That rock isn't going to hold much longer-'

'Kingsley, if he moves the rock will go with him!'

'Enough!' Snape called, stepping forward to the riverbank. 'Potter, you are going to have to jump.'

Harry raised his eyebrows.

'I'm not even halfway, I'll never make it!'

Snape hitched up the bottom of his robes and waded out into the water. He kept close enough to the bank that the current didn't sweep him away. He held out his hand to Harry.

'Jump,' he said again.

Harry hesitated. The water was surging around his makeshift pathway; the rock gave another crunch beneath his feet.

'_Jump_, Potter,' Snape growled.

With a deep breath, Harry thrust himself forward – just as the rock tumbled from under his feet. The sudden surge of water from upstream dislodged his stepping stone, it ripped his footing away from him and he flailed desperately as he slipped into the bitter cold. There was a cry from behind him but it was muffled by the sounds of the water roaring in his ears. The current dragged him under for a brief moment; he managed to pull himself to the surface, coughing and spluttering. A strong hand grasped his own and for a moment, Harry thought he was safe.

He didn't see Snape topple into the water, he felt it instead. The man pummeled into him with such force that all the wind was knocked from his stomach. He tried to gasp in some air but received a lungful of water instead. Harry was dragged under the water again; his eyes stung and his lungs were burning. The hand that was wrapped around his own moved to push him back above the water. Snape kept a firm hold on his chest when suddenly they were dragged from the water with such speed Harry almost lost his grip on reality. When he dared to open his eyes again, shivering and freezing cold, he found himself sprawled on the forest floor the opposite side of the river. Kingsley was bellowing at Bill and Charlie who both had their wands out. Remus had joined them somehow, and Snape was pulling himself to his feet.

'Up, Potter,' he rasped as he steadied himself on all fours.

Harry nodded wearily and tried to pull himself to his feet.

'...stupid!' Kingsley was yelling. '...any idea what you've done! Everyone get moving, _now_!'

Harry was practically dragged to his feet by the thunderous Auror; Remus snapped something at him and shoved him back, pulling Harry upright himself.

Snape was still struggling; as Harry turned he noticed suddenly with shock, the stark terror on his face. The man was ghostly pale, his eyes fixed on something in the distance. Harry ripped himself from Remus' arms to look.

_Dementors. _

Hundreds of them. Gliding gracefully through the forest towards them.

Voldemort knew exactly were they were and he'd sent his soldiers out to deal with them.

With not much air in his lungs, Harry rasped and gestured frantically to the trees behind them. Remus whipped around quickly, saw what Harry was pointing at and staggered back slightly.

'Move!' He cried, pulling out his wand. '_Now_!'

Harry's heart almost stopped in his chest. He tapped his pockets down quickly and found, with numb relief, that his wand was still lodged firmly within his back pocket. He ripped it out and turned on his heel, ready to follow Bill, Charlie and Kingsley who were already fleeing through the trees. He looked back over his shoulder to Snape who still seemed to be struggling.

'Go!' he growled, withdrawing his own wand. 'Get moving, Potter!'

Harry didn't need to be told twice.

He ran as fast as his legs would carry him. His chest was on fire. He clawed in air with a gasp as he ran, desperately trying to pound feeling back into his frozen feet. He felt Snape on his heels, yelling at him to keep running. Remus was beside him, a frantic crazed look in his eyes as the three of them weaved through the trees and leapt over fallen trunks and roots.

'Where are the others?' Harry cried.

'Doesn't matter now,' Snape rasped. 'We keep moving – LEFT!' he cried suddenly. Remus grabbed Harry's wrist and tugged him sharply, changing their course. The Dementors were closing in around them.

'We've got to fight!' Harry shouted, his knuckles white from their firm grasp on his wand.

'Do you have a death wish?' Snape bellowed back.

Remus tugged on his arm again and they took another sharp left, avoiding a sudden drop to a rocky cavern below. He stumbled and Snape steadied him with a firm shove on his back. Shadows were creeping in around them. Harry could hear the rasping breath of the Dementors behind them, above them... he looked to his right and almost fell over in shock. They'd caught up. They were right beside them.

Harry shook his head as he ran, grimacing as he tried to drag in another breath.

'They've got us!' he cried, pulling out of Remus' grasp. 'I'm _not_ going to die here!'

He came to such an abrupt halt that a few of the Dementors overran them. Snape and Remus staggered to a stop. They held their wands out defiantly, desperately gasping for air.

'Go back to your master!' Harry bellowed between ragged breaths. 'Tell him to come and fight for himself!'

The Dementors drew in closer.

'You don't frighten me!' Harry cried. 'This is not your battle! And it is not mine! You don't need to do this!'

Harry turned to Snape who was staring back at him with an odd expression on his face.

'They will not listen to reason,' he told Harry quietly, as if it should have been obvious.

'Then we'll make them! EXPECTO PATRONUM!'

The forest was filled with a dazzling light. An unearthly glow erupted from the end of Harry's wand sending him staggering backwards a few steps. Snape steadied him, watching intently at the look of determination on Harry's face. With a shaking hand, Snape held his own wand out in front of him, thinking of the only happy thought he'd ever had in his life.

'EXPECTO PATRONUM!' he bellowed. '_EXPECTO PATRONUM_!'

A magnificent doe burst from the end of his wand and charged down the first line of Dementors. Harry's stag reared back on itself and tore through a second and third. They heard Remus cry out beside them and the forest was filled with three incredible white figures, dancing their way through the Dementors forces.

'EXPECTO PATRONUM!'

_'Stand aside girl...stand aside'_

Harry could hear his mother scream just as clear as he could back in third year. His eyes seemed to glaze over and he found himself watching the endless green glow of the killing curse. He heard Remus call out to him and he quickly shook his head to clear it. He could do this..._ he could do this. _

'...don't loose focus!' Remus was yelling. 'Remember why we're doing this!'

Harry nodded at him and opened his mouth to bellow the spell once more.

'EXPECTO PATRONUM!'

Three more voices rang together through the night sky. Harry risked a look behind and found Bill, Charlie and Kingsley sprinting towards them, wands aloft and three more Patronus' rocketing through the air. The fresh attack sent an extraordinary wave of power straight at the Dementors.

A line of black hoods tried to force its way through the Patronus', dodging quickly and heading straight for where Harry, Remus and Snape were standing. With lightening reactions, Bill charged his Jack Russell straight though them, disbanding the line and sending them fleeing straight back towards the fortress. The others soon followed, the white glows faded and all six of them slumped to the ground exhausted. Harry's hands were trembling, his knees were weak, there was an insane ringing in his ears. He could barely lift his head off the ground.

There were muffled groans around him and he could hear rustling as people pulled themselves to their feet. Harry rolled onto his back and closed his eyes, taking a few moments just to focus on getting some air back into his lungs.

'Alright there, Harry?' Charlie said from beside him.

Harry didn't answer, afraid that he'd pass out or throw up if he spoke or moved.

'Harry?' Charlie said again. 'Harry?'

Another set of feet moved beside Charlie's. 'Is he alright?'

'I don't know – Remus, I think Harry's hurt!'

The ground vibrated in Harry's ear as Remus came running towards him. He felt a cool hand on his forehead and another on his chest.

'Deep breaths, Harry,' Remus told him gently. Harry obliged, trying to steady his spinning head. Three breaths in and it had an opposite effect. Shivering from freezing robes, Harry felt his head begin to swim viciously. The world tilted and Remus' voice faded from his ear.

He welcomed the black that enveloped him.


	25. The fortress part 2

**Here we are then. Chapter twenty five! Only ten or so more chapters until we reach the end :(  
>Thanks to everyone who is reading and I hope you guys enjoy! <strong>

**Chapter twenty five**

_The fortress. Part 2_

Noise was the first thing that returned to Harry. His head felt fuzzy, his ears were still ringing and there was an odd numbness in his fingers and toes.

'Harry?'

A cool hand was placed on his forehead.

'Can you hear me?'

Harry opened his eyes groggily. The sky was dark now, the stars bright through the tops of the trees. A vial of something foul smelling was suddenly thrust in front of his nose. He recoiled violently at the strange liquid and oddly, felt instantly more awake.

'What the hell is that?' Harry spluttered as he allowed Remus to pull him to his feet.

Snape was smirking beside him. He bottled the vial and tucked it back within his robes.

'My own creation,' he said.

'How're you feeling, Harry?' Bill asked as he, Charlie and Kingsley appeared beside him.

'Fine,' Harry said quickly. 'I'm fine.'

He watched as Remus pulled something from his pocket and handed it over. Harry crinkled the wrapper in his hand.

'Eat it,' Remus said firmly, as Harry went to stow it in his jeans.

'You brought chocolate on a rescue mission?' Charlie asked.

'You never know when you might need it –_ all of it_, Harry,' he said. 'We don't want you fainting on us again.'

Cheeks flushing, Harry stuffed the remainder of the chocolate into his mouth and swallowed quickly. Satisfied, Remus turned his attention to Kingsley.

'Voldemort will be well aware of our presence by now.'

Kingsley was silent for a few moments. He shared a quick glance with Snape and then said, 'We should continue with the original plan. We still have the element of surprise. The Death Eaters won't expect us to have all the exits covered.'

'But the Death Eaters will be waiting for us,' Bill said. 'There's no way they'd leave any area unprotected.'

'No,' Kingsley agreed, 'but instead of fighting a whole army of Death Eaters, we'll just face two or three at a time. Voldemort will have them scattered throughout the building.'

The group nodded their approval. 'Sounds reasonable,' Charlie said.

'We all know who is taking which exit' Kingsely said withdrawing the map of the fortress from his robes. 'Remember, if everything goes according to plan, we meet here - ' he tapped a spot on the map about a mile away from where they were currently stood. 'We'll apparate back to Hogwarts from there. If things go astray - '

'Which is the most likely outcome,' Charlie muttered.

'Then get out as soon as you can,' Kingsley carried on, shooting a glare in the Weasleys' direction. 'Red sparks if you're in serious trouble, green when you've found Tonks.' He turned to the two red heads. 'Bill, Charlie, Tonks is your responsibility. We'll hold off the forces until you get her out – understood?'

They nodded nervously but Harry could see the gleam of determination in their eyes. He suddenly had a feeling that neither of them would be leaving the building without the young Auror. He wondered if that was the reason Kingsley had assigned the task to them.

'Harry, you are to stay with Remus, do you understand me?' Kingsely was staring at him now, his face stern. 'You do not leave his side, and you follow his instructions to the letter.'

Harry turned to Remus and nodded quickly. 'Of course,' he said, though he couldn't help feeling he was being slightly untruthful.

Snape, who had been brooding quietly for the last few minutes, suddenly made his presence known by pulling out his wand and illuminating the forest around them. Harry watched him curiously as Snape took the map from Kingsley and muttered a lengthy incantation under his breath. The map glowed for a few seconds and then the tunnels and corridors depicted in the fortress began to swivel and change direction. Bill and Charlie's mouths dropped open; they'd obviously picked up on something that Harry hadn't.

'Are you serious?' Charlie said, watching one particular corridor which was now appearing and disappearing frantically on the map.

Snape nodded. 'Of course I am serious, Mr Weasley. I hope you didn't think this was going to be a simple task,' he said, taking in the looks on the youngest party members faces. 'This is the Dark Lords Fortress. It is riddled with enchantments and traps.'

'It's like Hogwarts,' Harry said, watching the map intently. Voldemort had apparently picked up a few ideas from the castle during his time there. He looked up to find Snape and Kingsley staring at him with an odd expression.

'How so?' Bill asked.

'Well,' Harry pointed to the re-arranging corridors, 'at Hogwarts you have to wait for the staircase to take you up to the right tower. It's just the same here – look.' He held his finger over one wall on the map. 'It disappears three times and then appears again. It's a pattern.'

'Yeah, but I swear the staircases at Hogwarts had a mind of their own sometimes. They seemed completely unpredictable.'

Harry shook his head. 'Voldemort wouldn't have seen it that way. There would have been a pattern in there to him somewhere.'

After a few more odd looks from the rest of the team, Snape broke the strange silence by clearing his throat. 'Perhaps, it is time we were moving.'

'Right then,' Kingsley said. He muttered an 'incendio' and the map burst into flames. It fizzled quietly and fell to the ground with a hiss. 'See you on the other side.'

Harry and Remus watched as Snape and Kingsley, and Bill and Charlie began to disappear through the trees. Wands drawn, the light of their Lumos' slowly ebbed away into darkness, leaving the two wizards standing alone. After a moments silence, Remus gestured for Harry to follow and they started off in the opposite direction. Harry used his wand to light his way through the trees. He stumbled a few times over upturned roots and rocks buried beneath the leaves, but quickly righted himself when he saw Remus vanishing into the darkness. Harry couldn't count how much time had passed; his robes were dry now (he guessed Remus had dried then when he'd passed out) but the cold night air was still biting into his skin and making it difficult to think.

Out of nowhere, the Fortress suddenly loomed over them. Moss covered bricks tumbled to the ground, vines and weeds crawled up the side of the building, clawing their way through the broken windows and cracks in the wall. The fortress seemed smaller up close, but with a coy smile from Remus, Harry deduced magic had something to do with the buildings decrepit appearance.

'Doesn't look like much,' Harry said. 'I bet Voldemort has one hell of a defense behind those walls.'

Remus nodded as they began to make their way around the side of the building. Harry expected to see Bill and Charlie emerge the other side, but as they followed round, the building seemed to stretch and grow, reaching deeper into the forest. Harry ran forward, utterly perplexed.

'Everyone ready?' a voice called through the darkness.

'What the - ' Harry muttered, still trying to peer around the edge of the building. He shook his dizzy head and moved back beside Remus – the wall returned back to normal and the fortress shrank back to its normal size.

'On three!' the voice called. Harry spun around. It sounded as though Kingsley were stood right next to him.

'Focus, Harry,' Remus said quickly, his wand drawn and ready.

With fumbling hands, Harry pulled his from his jeans and turned to face wall. He wasn't entirely sure what he was supposed to be looking at...

'Voldemort's not going to make it easy,' Remus reminded him. 'There's a chance things are going to get a bit strange in there...' he trailed off quietly. 'I have a feeling it's going to be far more difficult than Kingsley appreciated.'

'How so?' Harry asked.

Remus smiled. 'I had a rather interesting conversation with Severus - ' He cut off quickly as Kingsley's voice once again echoed around them.

'One!'

Harry and Remus both readied themselves.

'Two!'

The wall in front of them began to tremble. Bricks fell to the ground in a dusty avalanche as an opening began to peel open in front of them.

'Three!'

'STUPEFY!'

Harry hardly had time to react as Remus dragged him to the ground. He felt the stunning curse breeze past his ear and he rolled quickly back onto his feet. The wall had split into a large archway, much like the one that appeared on Diagon ally. A large, darkened corridor stretched onwards in front of them, lit only by a few flickering lanterns – it didn't appear to go anywhere.

'Stupefy!' Another stunner, though this one was badly aimed, whizzed through the air. Harry blocked it easily; the light from his shield cast a shadow of a disillusioned figure creeping along the wall. Both Harry and Remus clocked the Death Eater and fired two vicious stunning spells straight towards them. With a strangled cry, the figure slumped to the ground and gradually rippled back into existence. With a look, Remus warned Harry to stay where he was and stepped from the forest into the corridor. Harry felt his heart begin to slam against his ribs as Remus suddenly evaporated from sight. He peered back into the corridor with wide eyes, searching desperately amongst the shadows for any sign of him.

'You can step through now Harry.'

Harry stepped forward and instantly the room around him morphed with a loud groan. He turned sharply back to the opening, only to find the archway had disappeared. The wall had resealed. From outside, the corridor was lit, but from where Harry was stood now, the lamps were extinguished, leaving little light within the room. Tentatively, Harry moved forwards towards Remus, who was illuminated in the light of his Lumos. Harry cast his own and then found himself staring at a crossroads. Two more corridors either side had stretched into existence and disappeared round the corner into nothing – Harry could barely make out the outline of the wall it was so dark. He swallowed against the anxiety in his throat.

'We are never going to get out of this place,' he murmurred.

Remus smiled gently at him. 'We go straight on,' he said. He then gave Harry a little shove forwards. 'You stay in front of me and in my eyesight at all times.'

Harry pushed down the irritation he felt building. He could tally off the times Remus and Kingsley had spoken to him like he was a child that evening.

'And what if you suddenly disappear?' Harry asked. 'In horror films, it's always the people at the back who get taken by the creature.'

Remus chuckled lightly and gave Harry's shoulder a quick squeeze to get him walking. 'If I am taken by a creature,' he said lightly, 'then you keep going, understand?'

Harry nodded hesitantly, not particularly liking the idea of being left alone within Voldemort's fortress.

They walked for several minutes in silence; Harry's eyes were wide and alert as he tried to scan through the darkness in front of them. His wand hand was shaking slightly, the light from his Lumos scattering around the tunnel. Adrenaline pumped through his body, waiting and expecting a Death Eater to leap out at them any moment. He could hear Remus' footsteps and steady breathing behind him – it brought some comfort at least.

When they finally reached the end of the tunnel, the corridor swerved so sharply to the left that Harry almost walked straight into the wall. Remus tugged him back by his collar and directed him towards a series of rusty looking doors further down.

'Where are we now?' Harry asked quietly.

'I haven't the foggiest,' Remus murmurred back. 'I'm just following Severus' instructions.'

Harry hesitated, lowering the light of his wand to look at Remus. '_Snape's_ instructions? I thought Kingsley was in charge - '

'Kingsley is an experienced Auror, but he lacks the inner knowledge that Severus has. Trust me, we are better off following his instructions.'

Harry raised an eyebrow skeptically. 'I wouldn't be so sure - '

He was cut off by an ear splitting explosion from further up the corridor. A ball of orange erupted from nowhere and came barreling down the tunnel towards them. Remus threw up a shield with lightening reactions, his arms trembling as the fire dispersed around them and carried on through the darkness. They didn't have time to recover as, seconds later, another explosion rocked around them. Harry staggered sideways into the wall; Remus erected another shield as a second ball of fire came tumbling towards them.

'Get behind me!' he called to Harry who was still supporting himself on the crumbling wall beside him.

There was a loud cry of 'Reducto' and the wall Harry had been leaning against suddenly caved in. He yelped and fell backwards, pin wheeling his arms. His eyes saw the pile of bricks beneath him, but he collapsed onto them helplessly – his head collided with a loud thwack. Instantly, his vision smeared. His mind registered Remus now dueling fiercely with the figure that had appeared out of the shadows, but his eyes wouldn't focus. The Death Eater was still firing balls of fire aimlessly at Remus, who was deflecting them easily. Apparently, this guy only had one party trick. Out maneuvering him quickly, Remus ducked to the left and fired a vicious cutting hex towards the Death Eater. The man crumpled to the ground in an instant, blood pooling around him. Remus was at Harry's side in an instant. He muttered something under his breath and Harry's vision suddenly faded back to normal. He breathed a sigh of relief and thanked Remus, pulling himself onto his feet.

'Alright?' Remus asked him.

Harry nodded, a dull ache was now ebbing towards the back of his head. 'Yeah – best not tell Madam Pomfrey about that.'

Remus eyed him cautiously for a few moments. 'You don't feel sick, or dizzy?'

Harry shook his head. 'No – it just aches.'

'That was extremely lucky,' Remus breathed, he sounded agitated. 'If you hit your head again...'

'The accident was months ago,' Harry reminded him, brushing himself free from dust. 'I'm sure it's healed by now.'

Remus didn't look so sure. 'Even so,' he said, 'We'll have to be extra careful...' He trailed off, a curious look in his eye as for the first time he registered the rooms leading off from the corridor they were in. Wand ready, the two of them crept forward, stepping over the fallen Death Eater.

Rust had made the bolts on the doors impossible to open by hand but with a quick, 'Alohamora,' the first door on their right swung open. The smell was the first thing to hit Harry. The room was pitch black but Remus stepped in anyway. He raised his wand and almost fell backwards at the sight before him. The light cascaded over a shrunken figure, laid limply in the corner of the room. Chains bound what was left of the mans wrists and ankles to the wall. There was blood smeared across the walls and the floor. Remus stepped back out and closed the door. He turned to Harry who was still staring with shock.

'Whatever happened in there, it wasn't by magical means...' Remus tried to say, but Harry shook his head.

'I dreamt...' he began awkwardly.

Remus frowned and gestured for him to continue.

'The night you were attacked... the night _I _attacked you, I was dreaming,' Harry told him quietly. 'I dreamt you were inside a room, you were chained up to the wall – _that _wall.'

'You've seen this place before?'

Harry shook his head. 'Not the Fortress no,' he said. 'But I've seen this room...' Harry looked up at Remus with a pained expression. 'Remus, I think this room was meant for _you_.'

A voice suddenly echoed out of the darkness.

'Very good, Mr Potter.'

Harry felt his blood run cold. He raised his wand shakily and staggered backwards.

Death Eaters. Three of them, hoods up and faces covered, were walking towards them. Remus placed a hand on Harry's shoulder, stalling him from legging it up the corridor. There was a breathy chuckle behind them and Harry whipped around to find two others blocking their only means of escape. They were trapped.

'Expelliarmus!'

With a cry of surprise, Harry felt his wand ripped from his grasp. One of the Death Eater's opposite caught it swiftly. He ran his fingers across it for a few moments, seemingly admiring the craftsmanship before holding up in the light of his own wand. With a cruel laugh, he then snapped it in half as if it were a twig.

Immediately Harry felt his world come crashing down around him. The weight of it almost sent him to the floor.

His wand. The Death Eater had broken his wand.

He was helpless.

The Death Eater held up his hands and the broken pieces clattered to the ground. Harry turned desperately to Remus, but he didn't seem to have noticed. He was staring at the man in front with such hatred in his eyes that Harry instantly knew who he was.

'Long time no see, Lupin,' the man snarled.

That _voice. _

'He was one of your own kind,' Remus said, his voice level.

'I did what needed to be done,' the man said. 'I had to follow orders.'

'There are other ways. You needn't have killed that man, Fenrir.'

Greyback laughed, a harsh sound that made Harry flinch. He pulled down his hood to reveal a frighteningly scarred face. His appearance had shifted even farther toward werewolf then man; he threaded clawed fingers through his mane of stringy hair.

'But he tasted so _good,_' he whispered, stepping closer. His eyes were flickering to Harry. He almost had a hungry look about him. Remus quickly shifted so Harry was behind him.

'Don't even think about it,' Remus warned sharply. 'If you come any closer I will kill you where you stand.'

Fenrir laughed bitterly.

'With no wand?' he mocked. 'How do you propose to do that...'

His eyes suddenly gleamed with excitement.

'A good old fashioned dog fight,' he snarled, curling back his lip with laughter. 'How about it Lupin?'

The other Death Eaters closed in slightly. Remus looked around, his expression betraying nothing of what he was feeling.

'Kill me if you must, but Voldemort will want Harry for himself.'

'Believe me, Lupin. I will take most pleasure from this.'

Before Harry even registered what was happening, Greyback flung himself forwards with a snarl.


	26. Fending off Fenrir

**Chapter twenty six**

_Fending of Fenrir_

Remus shoved Harry sideways as Greyback sprung forwards towards them. Harry fell to the floor, right at the feet of a hooded Death Eater. He reached up, snatched the wand from the Death Eaters hand and cried 'stupefy!' all in one swift movement. The surprised expression never left his eyes as the hooded man fell to the ground in a heap.

Harry scrambled to his feet and threw the wand into the air, emitting a fountain of red sparks. He turned, ready to run back to Remus, and found a pair of hands around his neck. He struggled furiously, kicking and wriggling, but the hands just lifted him off the floor as if he were a rag doll. They slowly began to squeeze.

Through blurred vision, Harry saw Remus and Greyback grappling furiously. Both men had teeth bared and for the first time, Harry saw the wolf within struggling to break free.

Suddenly, just as Harry thought he was going to black out, he heard a ferocious cry from further up the corridor. He pulled his eyes open long enough to see Snape and Kingsley barreling down towards them. Snape's wand was raised; he yelled something Harry couldn't quite comprehend and all of a sudden the grip around his neck slackened. He fell to the ground, rolled onto his back and saw the death eater falling towards him. He threw himself sideways and was hoisted painfully to his feet by a rather disheveled looking Snape. His hair was wild, there was an impressive cut running the length of his forehead and a slightly crazed look in his eyes.

'Move Potter!' he cried, trying to tug Harry down the corridor.

'Wait! Hang on!' Harry pulled himself free. 'I'm not leaving Remus!'

'Kingsley has it covered,' Snape told him sharply. When Harry went to protest again, Snape gave him a quick shake. 'He'll be fine, Potter,' he said. 'Lupin can handle himself.'

With a quick backward glance, Harry allowed Snape to pull him down the corridor.

'Where are we going?'

'We're getting away from Greyback,' Snape said. 'The last thing we need is for one of us to get _eaten'_

Harry smirked and was about to comment when Snape came to such an abrupt halt that Harry almost toppled over him. His grip around Harry's bicep tightened.

They had appeared in the same corridor they'd been in seconds before. Remus and Greyback were still battling furiously, a Death Eater lay on the ground and Kingsely was dueling two others backwards down the corridor.

Harry stared for a few moments, then stepped backwards to peer around the corner they'd just rounded. Once again, he could see Remus and Kingsley, but this time the two Death Eaters were sprawled in a heap.

'He knows we're here,' Snape murmurred beside him. 'He's playing games.'

'What is he waiting for?' Harry growled. 'Instead of switching corridors around why doesn't he just come out here and finish us off?'

There was silence for a moment before Snape said,

'He is waiting for the opportune moment.'

Shocked by his words, Harry whipped his head around to look at Snape. The potions master was regarding him with a curious look in his eye.

'Move! MOVE!'

Kingsley was pounding up the corridor, waving his wand frantically around him. Remus was close behind; he was bleeding profusely from several wounds on his face but was sprinting unhindered to where Snape and Harry were stood.

Behind them, Voldemort had sent in reinforcements.

The Dementors were back.

Instantly, the tunnel was hit with a piercing coldness. Harry felt himself begin to tremble; his breath fogged in the air. He stepped backwards, his feet already wanting to flee the scene, but Snape held him steady.

'There's nowhere to go,' he said.

Harry stared at him wide eyed, but knew exactly what he meant. If they ran, the corridor would just lead them back round in one big loop. Voldemort had them trapped.

'What do we do?' Harry asked, just as Remus and Kingsley reached them.

'Keep moving,' Kingsley said.

'We can't!' Harry protested. 'We'll just be running in a circle.'

All four of them looked down the corridor, desperately hoping for a solution to appear. Harry pulled his wand and stepped forwards.

After everything that he'd been through, after fighting them off once already – this was how he was going to die? Having his soul sucked out by Dementors suddenly seemed a more terrifying way to go than letting Voldemort finish him off.

He went to raise his wand, but as he did so the corridor suddenly tilted. He blinked furiously, trying to steady his vision. He opened his eyes again and realised with a jolt, it wasn't just his eyesight. Kingsley, Remus and Snape were all looking incredibly confused as well.

Harry staggered to the left as the corridor continued to tilt; the three men went with him, falling into the wall – the whole corridor was moving, _rolling_ even. The corridor gave a jerk and Harry fell forward into Remus who managed to catch him before they both tumbled to the floor. Harry saw the Dementors swoop past and then suddenly, they were gone.

The corridor had taken then to an entirely different part of Voldemort's fortress. The Dementors, the Death Eaters and Greyback had all vanished. They'd been left behind.

'What was that?' Harry asked, steadying himself as the corridor rolled to a stop. He looked towards Snape for an answer, but the man was looking just as perplexed as everybody else.

'Voldemort wouldn't voluntarily save us,' Harry said.

'Kingsley!' came a relieved voice from behind them.

Bill and Charlie Weasley stood side by side, both grinning stupidly, and between them was a pale, bloody, but well and truly alive, Tonks.

'How on earth did you manage that? Look at you, completely unscathed...' Remus said, sounding impressed. He raced forwards and took Tonks in his arms. 'Are you alright?'

Tonks nodded against his chest. 'Fine,' she said. 'Nothing that can't be fixed.' She gave a brief smile.

'We found Tonks where you said she'd be,' Bill said to Snape. 'We had to take out about six Death Eaters before we could get to her.'

Snape curled his lip. 'Impressive, Mr Weasley.'

'We've got what we came for,' Kingsley interrupted, ' So we need to get out. It won't be long before he sends another round of reinforcements our way.'

'Can we apparate out?' Charlie asked.

Bill turned quickly on the spot, only to fall straight to his knees. His failed apparating crack rang around the tunnel.

'It would appear not,' Snape said grudgingly.

'Then how do we get out?' Charlie said. 'Where even are we?'

Snape shook his head. 'Even I have not been this far inside the fortress.'

Harry was just about to open his mouth to speak when suddenly, his skull erupted in a scolding blaze. He cried out, slamming his palm against his scar. The pain was so intense he promptly vomited. He found himself being held up by several pairs of hands.

'Harry?' Remus' voice was frantic in his ear.

A burst of pure elation suddenly shot through Harry's chest and he knew immediately what had happened. How Bill and Charlie were able to find Tonks so easily; how the Dementors hadn't gotten the better of them in the forest, how Greyback and his Death Eaters hadn't killed them. Voldemort had ordered them not too.

'He's...happy,' Harry grunted through a clenched jaw. He cried out again as another pang of joy filled him. 'It...was...a...plan!'

'What's he talking about?' Bill asked worriedly. 'What does he mean a plan?'

'Severus doesn't even know where we are...' Kingsley said darkly. 'We've been lured here.'

A high pitched, mechanical screech rang around them, confirming every single one of their fears.

Through the pain, Harry felt his limbs go rigid. Remus' hands tightened around him and gently began to pull him backwards.

Through the darkness, Bellatrix Lestrange emerged, followed by several, if not all, of Voldemort's most loyal subjects. Lucius Malfoy stood beside her, his long blonde hair swimming around his shoulders. There was an ugly smirk on his face, and Harry felt Remus tense beside him.

Bill and Charlie pulled their wands; Kingsley and Snape stepped forwards.

'Your master send you to do the dirty work, has he?' Bill snapped.

Lucius chuckled dryly. 'Oh no, quite the contrary.'

The dust around them began to whip and spin.

A black, robed figure suddenly swirled into existence, mere centimeters in front of them. His red eyes and snake like appearance were unmistakable, but Harry still found himself wishing it were somebody else, _anybody else._ The pain in his scar intensified for a moment, before suddenly, it vanished completely and he was able to pull his eyes open for the first time to stare his opponents in the face.

There were lots of eyes staring back at him.

Harry shrugged Remus' hands off him.

'Can't fight me alone?' Harry snarled. 'Thought you'd bring all your mates to give you a helping hand?'

'There are merely here to observe your demise,' Voldemort hissed. 'Once you are dead, my Death Eaters will be ready to take out the rest of your pathetic little order once and for all.'

He stared at Voldemort, recalling Dumbledore's words in his mind.

_'Wait for the opportune moment.'_

He had to lead Voldemort back to the clearing...but how?

Harry's heart almost skipped a beat. This was the part he was dreading. He'd have to fight. He'd have to fight and _survive _in order for the plan to work. He couldn't let Voldemort hit him with Avada Kedavara until Dumbledore gave the signal, otherwise everything would have been a waste of time. He fingered the Death Eaters wand carefully. Fighting Voldemort without his own wand was going to be tricky.

But he'd give it his best shot.

'What are you waiting for then?' Harry said, wishing his voice sounded stronger than it did.

Just as Voldemort went to raise his wand a series of red and green sparks blasted all around them. Snape and Kingsley had sprung into action, the Death Eaters retaliating quickly. To Harry's right, three Death Eaters were advancing, pushing Bill, Charlie and Tonks back around a corner until they were out of sight. He had no time to help, as out of nowhere, Voldemort screamed the killing curse and thrust his wand towards Harry.

'EXPELLIARMUS!' Harry bellowed, raising his wand to meet the spell.

The two jets of light bounced off each other, just like they had done in the graveyard a year ago. Green battled red furiously, jerking and spinning off around the walls. Harry felt his arm trembling with the force of the spell, but there was a sudden burst of energy within him. He could do this, he knew deep down he could hold Voldemort off long enough to get back to the clearing.

Out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw a deadly green jet of light fly past and miss Remus by inches. He staggered back slightly, shocked by the near miss and then dived back into action again, returning fire and hitting a Death Eater squarely in the chest.

Loud booms were echoing around the corner where the Weasleys and Tonks had disappeared off dueling. The walls shook and began to crumble, spilling dust into the air.

Harry shielded himself as a large slab of concrete came tumbling down and Voldemort's curse got the better of him momentarily. The green light slid further towards Harry and with a cry, Harry tried to push it back again. He allowed a grin to grace his face as the red light crept further and further up towards Voldemort. He grit his teeth, felt sweat on his forehead as he clasped his wand with both hands and pushed harder.

'My lord!'

The panicked voice of Lucius Malfoy distracted him momentarily. Voldemort whipped his head around, fire in his eyes as Lucius withdrew from dueling Snape, sensing that his master was struggling. Lucius snarled at Harry, and hurled a cutting hex towards him just as Voldemort tried to shove him aside.

'I alone must kill him!' Voldemort screeched, but the damage was already done. Entirely focused now, Harry gave one final push, and the connection broke. Red light spilt out everywhere and wands were suddenly forced into the air, clattering loudly against the walls and floor. Lucius looked dumbfounded for a moment before, in a fit of pure rage, Voldemort grabbed him and spun on the spot, disappearing from sight in a whirl of debris and smoke.

Sensing trouble, the other Death Eaters began to flee and Harry, pushed beyond his limits, let his arm fall to his side. His head was reeling, he couldn't focus on anything. He could still hear shouts and explosions but his mind wouldn't process what was going on.

He'd done it.

But he'd have to do it again.

Next time he'd be ready.

'Harry!' Remus called loudly over the commotion. 'We've got to get going, _now_!'

Snape ran up beside them, trying desperately to work out which route to take out of the fortress.

Neither of them saw Bellatrix Lestrange creeping out of the shadows once more; a look of pure madness in her eyes.


	27. Race against time

**Here's chapter twenty seven! I decided to post this early because I got over-excited as I started writing a sequel today!  
>I'm now officially hooked on writing fanfiction.<br>Hope you guys enjoy :)**

**Chapter twenty seven**

_Race against time_

Harry saw her out of the corner of his eye but his body, so weary, so heavy, wouldn't move. He was so tired. Time seemed to slow down as she ran forward, her face twisted into a mechanical grin, a screech so psychotic that everyone stopped and turned. Her hands were raised above her head -

And she plunged a knife straight into his stomach...

Harry looked up, straight into the glassy madness that was portrayed in the eyes of Bellatrix Lestrange. She smiled, tracing her fingers slowly, gently, across his jaw line, coming to a stop against the side of his neck.

'Your heart is pure...' she whispered, her fingers soft and tender against his skin. 'Yet it is so weak.'

She bent close and placed a kiss softly over Harry's lightening bolt scar.

'You've lost, Harry Potter.'

Harry reached out, grabbing her hands, his breath harsh and tight, his eyes locked with hers. 'So...have...you.'

Bellatrix looked back at him, her features softened for an instant, her eyes filled with something close to regret.

'I know.'

And then she tugged.

Harry gasped, the air rushed from his body in one swift movement, rendering him completely numb. There was no pain – just an odd emptiness as he watched the familiar jet of green light race towards Bellatrix. As she crashed to the ground, Harry caught sight of Snape beyond, wide eyed and shocked. Harry staggered backwards, his legs moving of their own accord. He fell back into strong arms, allowing them to lower him to the ground. He watched in morbid fascination as his warm blood spilled over his hands and fingers, cascading down his trousers to the ground. Other hands tugged on his top, pulling it aside to reveal a sickening, gaping hole in his skin. They pressed hard onto his stomach, a frantic attempt to stop the blood weeping through. Harry wanted to tell them not to bother, but no air reached his lungs. He tried to claw in a breath and a pain shot through his chest, so severe it almost ripped him from consciousness. His head lolled back against someone's shoulder, the world was beginning to dissolve.

'Harry, Harry! Look at me. _Look at me_.'

He tried to pull away from the blackness attempting to consume him. Spots were dancing in front of his eyes, but he dragged them up to meet the frantic gaze of Remus Lupin. Harry smiled. Of course it would be Remus. He was always there.

'Just breathe,' he said desperately, holding Harry close to his chest. 'Slowly, in and out, like me. Do it with me.'

Harry tried so hard to draw in that breath, to match the comforting rhythm of Remus' breathing. He gasped deeply as something caught at the back of his throat. He tried to swallow but his throat seized, his entire chest seemed frozen and something warm dribbled from the corner of his mouth. Colours and sounds blurred into one, but he kept his gaze on Remus.

'We have to move him.' Snape's voice came from beside him, muffled by the sound of loud bang from further up the corridor.

'Take him,' Kingsley ordered, looking over his shoulder as a series of cracks and shouts cascaded towards them. 'I'll get Bill and Charlie.'

Remus tried to smile, but he looked so sad; his eyes were glistening and, as Harry tried to blink away the darkness, he found his own were burning.

'Lupin, we have to leave,' Snape said again, his voice taking on a strange tone.

'We can't apparate with him,' Remus snapped. 'He's already loosing too much blood.'

Snape looked unsure for a few moments, his eyes following the sounds of dueling just up the corridor.

'Quickly then,' he said eventually, prizing Remus' hands away from Harry's stomach.

Blood began to seep over his side onto the dungeon floor. Snape's gaze grew frantic, stunned by the sight beneath.

'It is deep,' he said, pulling up his sleeves and pressing his hands down upon the open wound. Harry cried out, his face loosing any colour it had left.

'Do what you can, then we must leave,' Snape said as Remus began incanting under his breath. He could feel Harry's soul being pulled away – it would not be long before his own began to follow. Snape shook his head slightly, trying to clear the numbness that was beginning to cloud his mind.

A horrendous scream suddenly ricochet off the walls, followed by another loud bang. There were several cries and seconds later Bill, Charlie and a disheveled looking Tonks sprinted around the corridor. Tonks was limping and there was an impressive cut down the side of her face. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and Snape noticed there was an extra wand between the three of them. He did not need to ask what had happened.

Remus glanced briefly at Tonks, not allowing his relief to distract him from his task. Tonks knelt down beside him, placing a comforting hand around his shoulder, watching intently as he tried to close the wound in Harry's stomach.

'We need to leave,' Bill cried, skidding to a halt beside them. His eyes travelled to Harry's shivering body on the ground.

'What happened?' he asked quickly, shooting a glance over his shoulder.

'Bellatrix,' Remus replied. 'I can't stop the bleeding!' he cried desperately, spiraling his wand in another symphony of movements. Another crack exploded up the corridor. Wheels of dust fell to the floor as the walls shook and splintered. Bill and Charlie ducked quickly as a slab of concrete fell to the ground.

'We have to go,' Charlie said.

'We can't apparate with Harry,' Remus snapped.

'He'll die anyway!' Charlie snapped back. 'He's got a better chance apparating then he has staying here.'

Another bang, louder this time and the whole corridor rattled dust and debris to the floor.

Remus was torn. He looked down at Harry, whose eyes were clouded and full of pain, and he wondered just how aware he was of what was going on. His eyes drifted to the blood spilling under Snapes hands onto the floor.

'Okay,' he said finally, struggling to his feet.

'I'll take him,' Snape said, reaching over to pull Harry into his arms. He straightened up, sagging slightly under the weight and the sudden weakness that had consumed him.

'On three,' he said and they all turned simultaneously on the spot.

Snape fell to the ground as soon as his feet hit the soft earth. He looked around hoping and praying that they'd reached their location.

More apparating cracks filled the air, and Remus, Tonks, Bill and Charlie stumbled forward into the forbidden forest.

'Severus? Remus?'

Snape breathed a shaky sigh of relief as he heard Dumbledore rushing over to them. They'd reached the clearing – the rest of the order was only meters away.

'What happened?' Dumbledore demanded sharply.

'Bellatrix stabbed him,' Remus said shakily. 'I couldn't stop the bleeding -'

Dumbledore bent down, directed Snape to lay Harry flat and quickly performed a diagnostic charm.

'His pulse is weak,' Dumbledore muttered. 'He has lost too much blood.'

He reached over and took Harry's face in his hands.

'Harry open your eyes, we need you to stay awake,'

'...hurts,' Harry whimpered.

'I know it does,' Dumbledore said gently. 'Just hold on a bit longer, we're going to make sure you're alright.'

Harry tried to nod but a searing pain shot through his chest once more. His entire body arched with it and he cried out, tears falling freely from his face. The pain had arrived now, bursting into existence so unexpectedly. The shock had faded and he was left with a bewildering burning in his stomach.

Dumbledore had began incanting something furiously under his breath. Remus had knelt the other side of Harry and Snape was stood watching the scene; he could almost feel the pain that Harry was in, their souls were still tied together and Harry's was beginning to drag Snape's into darkness.

'Just hold on a bit longer, Harry,' Remus was saying, threading his fingers through Harry's damp hair, his eyes fixed intently on whatever Dumbledore was doing. Waves of blue light were radiating from his wand. They would flow freely for a moment and then fizzle into nothing; Dumbledore's composure was beginning to wane. The more frustrated he got the bigger the waves and the louder his incantations; Remus had never seen Dumbledore loose control before. It was a very odd thing to witness.

Finally, one of the waves finally latched itself onto Harry's stomach, closing around the wound and forming what looked like a protective shield across his skin.

Harry screwed up his face, what little breath he had left hitched as a sob in his chest.

'You're alright, Harry,' Remus said. 'Dumbledore is helping.'

Harry reached up and grabbed Remus by the wrist.

'...don't let go...Remus...please.'

'I'm not going anywhere.'

With one last shuddering breath, Harry let his eyes fall closed as he drifted into the welcoming blackness. His hand slipped back to the ground with a muffled thump.

'Harry…_Harry_!'

Remus turned to look at Dumbledore, his eyes wide with shock.

'He's not dead,' Remus pleaded.

Dumbledore shook his head, his expression completely unreadable. 'No.'

'Then what!' Remus cried. 'What's happened to him! Why have you stopped?'

Dumbledore turned to Snape whose face had drained of all colour. The man looked very unsteady on his feet; Dumbledore regarded him with a curious expression.

'I believe it is out of our hands for the moment.'

Remus clambered shakily to his feet. 'What does that mean!' he bellowed, stumbling forwards towards Dumbledore. He clutched at the front of his robes with trembling hands. 'Why aren't you saving him!' He gave the old man a hard shake.

Dumbledore didn't even try to shake his grasp. He just stood solemnly, looking down at Harry's still body on the muddy ground.

'It won't let me,' he said quietly. 'It would appear it's not my job to save him.'

'SO YOU'RE GOING TO LET HIM DIE?' Remus bellowed.

'Not at all,' Dumbledore said. 'It would seem somebody else is in control at the moment...' he trailed off, his eyes glancing upwards for the briefest of moments. 'We'll know when it is time to help him again.'


	28. Reunited

**Chapter twenty eight**

_Reunited_

Darkness and light. It is odd that a simple change in colour holds entirely different meanings. White is safe and comforting – it is home. Black is unknown. It is nothing. And though not easily scared, he was unnerved, for wherever he looked there was only darkness stretching on for eternity. There was no sound, no movement, only him in this wide open space. Another thought struck him – how odd it was to feel claustrophobic in such an open place. He could move anywhere he wished, but he felt trapped, tethered entirely to the black surrounding him. It felt wrong – he didn't belong here.

Something flickered in the corner of his eye. It was bright and he immediately felt drawn to it. He headed forward finding that he was walking on a strange surface. He was unsure what, though it was hard under his feet.

'I wouldn't go that way.'

Well that was impossible, he was sure he just heard a voice. One he hadn't heard in a while and one that filled him with intense pain and guilt.

'Are you ignoring me now?' the voice said with a hint of a smirk.

Harry turned around and a smile lit his face.

'Alright mate,' Ron said. He looked content, relaxed, like he was completely at ease here. 'How's your stomach?' he asked, gesturing towards Harry's shirt. It was ripped, he noticed, at the point where Bellatrix had driven the sword through his stomach. He pulled his shirt aside, grimacing at the gruesome hole in his body.

'It doesn't hurt,' he said, unsure whether that was a good thing or not. He traced his fingers over the hole and laughed as Ron visibly winced.

'Harry, that's gross – stop it.'

'Sorry,' he said, pulling his shirt down – the light behind Ron caught his eye again...

'Don't look at it,' Ron said, 'It's easier if you try to ignore it.'

'What is it?'

Ron turned and looked over his shoulder, momentarily distracted.

'On,' he said simply, dragging his eyes away to find Harry looking back at him, his face the picture of guilt. Ron held his hands up, grinning.

'I know what you're going to say – Harry, if I was angry with you, do you think I'd be here?'

Harry shrugged, running a hand wearily over his eyes. 'Where is here, anyway?' he asked.

Ron shook his head and shrugged. 'Not sure. It's okay though.'

Harry looked at him, puzzled. 'You stayed here? The entire time? Why didn't you go on?'

'It wouldn't let me,' Ron said. 'Every time I tried to get near it, the light would go out.'

Harry swallowed thickly. 'Do you think it would let me?'

Ron eyed him carefully; he looked much older than his years; he was almost x-raying him like Dumbledore would have done.

'Do you want it to?' he asked, mysteriously.

'I don't think so,' Harry said, shaking his head, staring back at the flickering ball – it seemed so far away from him.

'Wow,' Ron said suddenly, pulling him from his reverie. He was staring down at his feet, a strange twisted smile upon his face. 'Snape's trying to save you,' he said grimly. 'When did that greasy git suddenly get a heart?'

Harry laughed. 'He's not as bad as you think...once you get to know him.'

'Are you sure?' Ron said. 'After all the things he did to you?'

'We found a common interest...' Harry frowned suddenly. 'Wait, Snape's trying to what?'

Ron pointed towards his feet and Harry ran over to meet him. He found himself looking through what appeared to be a huge pain of glass beneath his feet. He was high above the forest, as though he were in the sky itself, staring down at the clearing below.

Remus was knelt next to Harry's lifeless body, one hand stroking his hair, his face gaunt and lifeless. Snape was stood above him looking almost as bad as Harry did, aiming his wand directly over his chest and chanting something with an intense expression. As Dumbledore appeared to be yelling instructions at them both, Snape wavered on his feet, wiping a sleeve across his sweaty brow, and then he cast the spell once more. Harry watched his own body arch and then fall to the ground, his pale head rolling around in the leaves.

'Am I dead?' Harry asked, shocked.

'Not really.'

Harry groaned. 'Can you stop being so cryptic? You're starting to morph into Dumbledore.'

Ron laughed but cut off abruptly as Harry launched himself at him, overcome with the need to explain himself and wrapped his arms firmly around him.

'I'm so sorry Ron – I missed you so much…'

'I don't blame you, Harry. I really don't.'

'But I didn't stop him, I couldn't!'

Ron clapped him hard on the back and pulled away. 'I mean what I said. If I was angry with you, I wouldn't still be here.'

Harry sighed heavily. 'Hermione misses you.'

Ron nodded. 'I know,' he said, his throat tight. 'I miss her too.'

'Can you forgive me, for ruining what you had?'

'How many times - '

'Just say it,' Harry cut in, 'please. I need to hear you forgive me.'

Ron sighed and smiled gently. _'I forgive you_...You're my best friend Harry, nothing will ever change that.'

Harry looked down at his body again. 'Have you been watching all the time?' he asked.

Ron shook his head. 'Not all the time. I can only see certain things.'

'Like what?'

'Well, I know that you and Ginny are pretty much together now,' Ron said with a raised eyebrow. Harry felt his gut clench.

'Yeah...' he said awkwardly. 'But I really love her Ron, I've never felt anything like it before.'

'I know,' Ron said reassuringly. 'I trust you wont hurt her...' he trailed off, following Harry's eyes through the glass below them. Remus was now leant over Harry, his hands pushing fiercely upon Harry's chest; Snape was bent over the grass now, struggling to catch his breath, Dumbledore looked positively bewildered - an expression Harry had never seen cross his face before.

Ron looked horrified.

'What on earth is he doing?'

'It's a muggle method. CPR, it's called,' Harry said, turning away. It was difficult to watch the two men, battling to save him, knowing they were fighting a loosing battle. If they couldn't save him, Snape would be next. Two lives lost for the sake of one. Harry shook his head, there was _nothing_ right about that.

'Remus is good for you Harry,' Ron said, watching as Remus continued to pump his arms up and down, almost frantically now. 'He's done more for you than I ever could...'

'It's different Ron,' Harry said gently. 'I need you to be my best friend, not my dad.'

'You think of Remus as your dad?'

Harry nodded. 'He's been there for me when nobody else was. It's hard to explain. You and Hermione helped in a different way, but you couldn't be there all the time, it would have been ridiculous of me to expect that. But Remus, he was there _all the time_. He wouldn't push me, but he'd be there to catch me when I needed it. I've never had anybody do that for me before...After you...died...he stopped me from doing something very stupid.'

'I know.'

Harry pulled his head up quickly. 'You saw that?'

Ron nodded. 'I'm glad to see you were so upset about me,' he said, grinning. 'But if you ever do something as stupid as trying to run off to kill a mad wizard by yourself again, I will have to kill you.'

Harry laughed. 'It's a bit late for that isn't it?'

Ron shrugged. 'No.' He pointed down beneath his feet again. 'Look.'

Harry didn't need to look. He could _feel_ it. A gentle tugging, like someone had grabbed hold of his ankles and was attempting to pull him through the glass separating him from his body. He staggered slightly, surprised at the odd feeling. He could see Remus below, shouting with an utterly confused expression at Snape who was pulling himself up from the grass. He suddenly looked better, in fact, he was almost smiling. Dumbledore was aiming his wand once more, the same blue waves as before were pulsing outwards and this time, were firmly attaching themselves to Harry's stomach.

'You have to go back,' Ron said. 'People need you down there.'

'What about you?' Harry said, wincing as somebody tugged on his ankles again. 'I don't want to leave you here.' Harry looked beneath him again – colour was retuning to his pallid face.

'Come with me,' he said.

Ron raised an eyebrow. 'How am I supposed to do that?'

Harry shook his head. 'Who knows! But there's a reason, I swear there is, for that light not letting you through. I bet you anything it was waiting for me.'

'Harry...'

'No Ron. We can do this! Just...I don't know, hold on to me or something.'

'Harry,' Ron said gently, prying his friends hands from his arms. 'I can't go back with you.'

Harry swallowed hard. 'Why not,' he demanded, sounding all of ten rather than sixteen.

'There's a reason that I haven't been allowed to go on yet,' Ron said calmly. 'And I don't think it's to come back with you,' he added quickly as Harry went to interrupt. 'I think it was to make sure _you _went back.'

'But I don't want to go back without you,' Harry said quietly. 'Why don't you want to come back!'

'You've managed alright without me so far,' Ron said.

There were silent for a few moments, watching the scene beneath them.

Dumbledore was still chanting rhythmically.

'Nothing can bring people back from the dead, Harry,'

'Will you stop that!' Harry said with a frown.

'What?' Ron said, laughing.

'You sound like Dumbledore. It's really unnerving.'

'Sorry,' Ron said. 'But you know I'm right. You need to go back without me.'

Harry shook his head, still not wanting to leave. 'What if you get stuck here?'

Ron turned to look at the light again. It had drifted closer and was twinkling brightly. When he turned back, a smile had lit his face.

'I think I'll be okay. I've done what I need to do.'

Harry folded his arms. 'I haven't said I'm going back yet. Like you said, nothing can bring back the dead.'

'Ahh, but you're not really dead.'

Harry whacked Ron upside the head. 'Then what is all this for!'

Ron was thoughtful for a few moments. 'This is...making sure you make the right choice.'

'Which is going back?'

'Which is going back,' Ron repeated. 'Harry, people down there need you.'

'And what about you?' Harry cried. 'People need you too! _I_ need you.'

'You'll be fine, Harry.' Ron patted his shoulder gently. 'Remember what Remus told you? Just remember, the guilt will fade and the memories will help – even it it's just a little.'

Harry felt another tug on his legs, this one much harder and he almost felt himself slip through the glass pane beneath him.

'I think it's time to go,' Ron said with a grin. 'For both of us.'

Ron held his arms out and Harry grasped him tightly.

'At least I get to say goodbye this time,' he said tearfully. 'I'm so sorry Ron.'

'I know,' Ron said, pulling backwards with a stupid grin on his face. 'I'll be watching – if you do anything to hurt Ginny... I'll send down some lighting or something to strike you.'

Harry laughed. 'Don't worry. She's the most important thing in my life now. Or she will be when all this is over.'

Ron nodded. 'Take care of yourself, Harry...tell Hermione...well, she already knows.'

'I'll see you again,' Harry said, holding out his hand. Ron shook it fiercely, laughing again.

'Seriously mate, just go!' he said. 'People are waiting for you down there.'

And with one last, almost lethal, tug Harry found himself falling and tumbling through the blackness. Within seconds the light burned so brightly, Ron was gone and Harry's world dissolved into white.


	29. The final battle

****Thank you to everyone for the reviews and story alerts :) Here's chapter twenty nine! Dun dun duunnn...

**Chapter twenty nine**

_The final battle_

A violent gasp of air forced air back into his lungs, sending an acid burn through his chest. The next breath wasn't quite so difficult to catch and the third was easier still. There was an odd tingling sensation about halfway down his stomach and he reached with clumsy hands to feel what it was. Somebody stopped him from reaching his goal.

'Harry!'

With surprising ease, Harry managed to pry his eyes open. The forest was dark, but an odd light hovered in front of his eyes. He batted it away irritably.

'Can you answer me?'

Harry shifted his body slightly and blinked to readjust his sight. Dumbledore was stood over him, the light was glowing brightly from the end of his wand. Remus was beside him on his knees, his brows pulled together tightly and Snape was further back, looking as horrid as Harry felt.

'Y-yeah,' he said shakily. 'I'm fine.'

Remus let out a sigh of relief before pulling Harry tightly into his side.

'What happened?' Harry asked, allowing Remus and Dumbledore to pull him to his feet. He swayed slightly before his head cleared enough for him to stand unassisted.

'Bellatrix stabbed you,' Remus told him. Harry nodded, remembering with hazy thoughts the sheer madness reflected in her eyes.

'I died,' he said, glancing quickly over his shoulder at Snape who was still a few feet behind them. He frowned curiously.

Dumbledore intercepted their glances with a knowing nod.

'An unbreakable vow,' he said.

Remus' eyebrows angled upwards.

'What?' he demanded, looking between all of them.

'It was only a matter of time before you discovered the truth,' Snape said wearily.

Remus looked to Harry for conformation.

'He made an unbreakable vow with my mother,' he said quietly. 'To keep me alive.'

Remus' jaw was working on silent words. He turned around to face Snape and they stared at each other in silence for a few moments. Snape's expression betrayed nothing of what he was thinking, but there was something about their silent interaction which intrigued Harry. Eventually they broke eye contact and Remus' face was slightly more drawn than before.

'We'd best get moving,' he said stiffly. 'The Order is waiting for us.'

'Where's Kingsley?' Harry asked as Remus took him by the elbow and began to direct him towards a circular clearing where the trees grew sparse.

'He didn't make it,' Snape replied quietly.

Harry felt his chest constrict with guilt but Snape rounded on him quickly. 'Now is not the time,' he said firmly. 'We can mourn those who have been lost when the time comes. For now, there are more pressing matters at hand.'

Regrettably, Harry knew Snape was right. Feeling guiltier by the second, he tired to push all thoughts of Kingsley aside. He had to be focused.

Just as Harry was beginning to wonder where on earth everyone was, a strange tingling passed over his entire body; the hairs on his arms stood upright. He stopped for a moment, unsure what to make of the odd sensation. Remus pushed him forward and suddenly, the clearing was fit to burst with people. Harry raised his eyebrows.

'I love magic,' he said with a grin. 'How did you do that?'

Dumbledore chuckled beside him. 'It is merely a protective spell,' he said. 'It will stop the Death Eaters knowing we are here until we _wish_ them to know we are here.'

Harry nodded. He turned to look back and saw now that they were encased by what appeared to be a large circular bubble. The trees outside looked distorted, as if he were looking through cellophane. He was aware now of the amount of noise inside the protective shell. People were bustling about, there were several younger witches practising defensive spells in the corner; Harry could see Mad Eye and some of the Aurors organising people into groups. Tonks was beside him, looking weary and favouring one leg but otherwise she appeared to be coping just fine. She caught Harry's eye and shot him a quick smile.

'How did you get so many people?' Harry asked, his eyes surveying the large crowd. There were several people he hadn't seen before, Aurors dressed in impressive red robes and a large group of seventh year Hogwarts students he recognised. The Order stood grouped together in one corner, Bill and Charlie had joined them moments before.

'People want to fight,' Dumbledore said simply.

'Harry!'

A familiar bushy haired girl came sprinting towards him from the crowd. She enveloped him in a huge hug, pinning his arms firmly to his sides.

'I was so worried!'

Harry chuckled lightly into her hair. 'We're fine, everybody...' he trailed off and pulled away from Hermione's vice like grip. 'Almost everybody,' he finished.

Hermione gave him a knowing nod.

'What's going on now?' Harry asked.

'Moody has just briefed everybody,' she told him. 'We're just waiting for Dumbledore to give the signal.'

Harry nodded, and as he did a striking pain shot through his forehead. He shook his head, trying to clear it but instead, he found himself looking down at a group of cowering Death Eaters.

'Go now!' a voice roared in his ears.

'Harry?'

Hermione waved a hand in front of his face. 'What's happened?'

He went to respond but another stab of pain pulled him from her and once again he was staring at the cloaked figures. He glared down at Lucius Malfoy who was cowering on the ground in a mess of blood and the remains of his death eater robe.

'Lucius, how you've disappointed me,' the voice said, almost soothingly to the writhing man on the floor. And with a stab of green light, the blonde haired man fell still.

'Harry!'

'They're coming,' Harry said quickly, rubbing away the last traces of pain in his scar. He turned to find Remus, Dumbledore and Snape looking down at him. 'Any minute now...he just killed Malfoy.'

Snape's face fell slightly. 'Malfoy was always a foolish man,' he said quietly.

'Are we ready?' Remus said, turning to Dumbledore.

The old man nodded slowly. 'If Harry is.'

All three men turned expectantly to Harry. He looked up into their faces and gave what he hoped was a reassuring nod, though it felt more like his neck had gone into spasm.

'I'm ready.'

His eyes lingered on Snapes for a few moments longer until a series of apparating cracks punctured the air. Automatically, everyone turned towards the sound; the protective bubble was suddenly filled with a tense silence.

Dumbledore raised his hand slowly. Men and women alike readied themselves. Harry saw the Weasleys in some sort of a group hug towards one side of the shield. Moody patted Tonks' shoulder as she moved over to take Remus' hand. They looked at each other for a few moments before she released him and took a firmer hold on her wand.

Hermione slid her hand into Harry's and gave him a gentle squeeze. His heart rapidly picked up pace as they waited for Dumbledore to give the signal.

To their left, the trees began to rustle and shake. Hermione gripped his hand harder and Harry instinctively placed himself ahead of her.

Two Death Eaters suddenly stepped into the moonlight, oblivious to the large group of people standing meters in front of them. Everybody froze.

Harry felt a twinge in his scar – Voldemort was just as nervous as he was. He could feel the apprehension radiating through their connection as they waited.

The two Death Eaters came to a stop just outside the protective barrier. They said nothing, but withdrew their wands and began to wander around the perimeter. The one on the left, shielded by a cloak, gestured to something in the distance. Seconds later, three more Death Eaters joined them.

'They know we're here,' Harry whispered to Dumbledore.

He nodded slowly, and studied Harry for a moment.

'You truly are ready?'

'For the first time, I really think I am.'

Dumbledore's eyes shone with pride and he turned to face their comrades hidden amongst the trees. Raising his wand into the air, a shower of red sparks fell gracefully to the forest floor and those towards the back of the group were now paying full attention to the wizard in front of them.

Dumbledore said nothing, but instead turned back to face the Death Eaters.

The odd tingling sensation passed over Harry once more. The five Death Eaters came to an abrupt halt. Through the darkness, Harry could still make out the look of shock in their eyes as they turned to face the army right in front of them.

In silence, deadly green jets of light soared from within the group, each hitting a target dead on. The Death Eaters all collapsed forward in a heap, unmoving. Harry turned around, shock clear on his face. He hadn't been expecting that...

Dumbledore was stern faced and had one hand wrapped around Hermione's wrist. His own wand, along with Snape, Remus, Bill, and Charlie's were all pointing forward. Hermione's hung limply at her side. Before Harry had the chance to ask what had happened, several loud apparating cracks tore through the air.

'They're here!' Harry cried.

'Everyone down!'

The people surrounding Harry threw themselves to the ground, shielding their heads with flailing arms and protective charms. Distracted by the red sparks that had begun to detonate in the air, Harry stayed upright glaring through the trees in a desperate attempt to locate Voldemort. Lupin reached up and tugged him down, shoving him firmly into the ground as another batch of red sparks shot overhead. Harry gave him a grateful glance before leaping to his feet. Bill, Charlie, Fred and George were hot on his heels, scrambling up and running off towards a thick collection of trees a few meters ahead, taking down two Death Eaters who'd appeared from the foliage. Mad-Eye and Tonks were next, running in the opposite direction and closely followed by Mr and Mrs Weasley; Harry had never seen them looking so determined. Dumbledore and Snape moved beside Harry, just as Lupin was getting to his feet. Wands at the ready, they stood shoulder to shoulder, brothers in arms as they scanned the trees ahead of them.

'This is it, isn't it,' Harry said, glancing sideways at Dumbledore.

The old man turned to look at him, and for the first time in years Harry saw a huge smile grace his face. He swept his beard over his shoulder and held his wand aloft, sending out a fountain of green sparks.

'Yes it is,' he said simply, before crying a spell Harry was unfamiliar with and marching forward into the fray. Harry, Snape and Lupin all exchanged amused glances and then, Snape ran forward also, pointing his wand directly into the face of an emerging Death Eater

'_Crucio_!' Snape roared, knocking the Death Eater off their feet and into a writhing heap on the ground. Harry raised his eyebrows.

'We're not holding back then,' he muttered to Lupin. Remus shook his head.

'It's now or never,' he said, looking round at Harry. He reached forward and squeezed his shoulder tightly. 'I'm proud of you. Sirius, your Mum and Dad - they'd all be proud of you. You know who you truly are. Don't forget that.'

'_Stupefy_!'

'_Crucio_!'

Two disgruntled cries soared in Harry's direction and he threw himself behind a tree, just as the spot he was standing in erupted into flames. Remus dived in the opposite direction, swallowed up by a crowd of battling Aurors and Death Eaters.

'Come out, come out wherever you are!' an unfamiliar voice crooned. Harry pointed his wand around the side of the tree, chanted 'Stupefy!' and listened happily as a loud thud acknowledged his spell had hit target. He poked his head around his shield and watched the scene before him with wide eyes. Where only moments before there had been nobody around, the entire clearing was now full of people, battling and fighting with and without wands. He watched in awe as Charlie knocked a Death Eater clean out with a rather impressive right hook before gathering his wand and stunning two more in quick succession. Fred and George stood back to back, yelling identical spells at Death Eaters who were now sprouting scales, feathers and large unbalancing tails of all shades and textures. Snape looked almost gleeful as he battled his way through his former comrades; laughing at one point as Yaxley (now sporting a dashing set of yellow canary wings) stumbled forwards into a tree and knocked himself out. Dodging another set of deadly looking spells, Harry ran over towards Hermione and Ginny...wait a minute Ginny? Harry faltered mid-step. He hadn't even realised she was there... she shouldn't be there at all! His heart stuck in his chest. The two girls had been surrounded by a large group of Death Eaters. Just as he pulled out his wand to help, a huge explosion rocked the air, throwing him backwards into the trunk of a tree. He cried out as an impressive circle of stars burst in front of his eyes; Hermione looked out for the count but was quickly rescued by a bloody Tonks, who levitated her behind a nearby bush. Ginny righted herself quickly and sprinted off towards her brothers, shooting Harry a furtive glance. Deliriously, Harry pulled himself to his feet as another spell ripped up a fountain dirt behind him, showering battlers in a mixture of mud and debris. Harry wiped a sweaty hand across his head, smearing dirt on his face and was suddenly hit from behind with a painful stinging hex. He yelped and spun around, only to be hit again, this time in the face. A masked Death Eater snarled viciously at him, raising his wand to cast something more deadly; the green glow was already at the tip of his wand. Harry, blinded by pain and fueled by adrenaline, ran forward and tackled the man to the ground, stabbing his wand through the eyehole of the mask. The man closed a hand around Harry's throat, clamping down on his windpipe. Harry gagged loudly, trying to shake the man off. With one hand on his wand, he landed a punch to his face and gasped out 'Stupefy!' watching in relief as the man sagged underneath him. He didn't have time to recover though, for another set of spells were sent in his direction, this time from two advancing Death Eaters. Harry leapt to his feet, stumbling backwards over the fallen man and dueling fiercely. His breath came in ragged gasps as he tried to draw enough air back into his lungs to fight back. Scanning the clearing, hoping desperately for somebody to come and aid him, Harry saw that somehow the Death Eaters were beginning to outnumber the Order. Dumbledore was holding his own, of course, but Fred and George were now supporting an unconscious Bill and a blood streaked Ginny was limping towards Tonks to give her a helping hand. Distracted by the scene in front of him, he didn't realise one of the Death Eaters was preparing to throw a killing curse at him. Seeing the green glow, Harry froze, quickly throwing up a shield charm. The curse exploded off, throwing Harry backwards and rebounding into the Death Eater who'd cast it. The second wasted no time in attempting to curse another one, but just as he lifted his wand to incant, somebody tackled him from behind. Harry laughed in relief as Lupin came thundering forward, his own wand aglow with the deadly curse. With a simple chant, the man tipped forward, stone cold dead.

'Okay?' Remus called, scrambling to his feet and scanning the clearing. Harry nodded quickly, though his legs felt incredibly wobbly under him. He opened his mouth to respond, when Mr Weasley suddenly tore past him, and with a feral war cry he landed a spectacular curse on two Death Eaters who were back to back. They slumped to the ground in a heap. Harry was unsure if they were dead, but the moonlight reflecting off their pale skin made them look like skeletal corpses.

'Watch out!'

Harry turned to whoever had screamed, and was once again pulled to the ground by Lupin. Dedalus Diggle wasn't so quick, and was caught in a bloody spray of green light, which sent him careening backwards into a ditch. Another spell siphoned past Harry's head, slicing his cheek as though it were a scalpel. He immediately felt the trickle of blood as it seeped down his face and neck. Lupin looked at him worriedly before tugging him backwards into the ditch where Diggle was now laying unconscious.

'Alright?' Lupin asked quickly, pulling Harry's head up.

Taking a moment to steady himself, Harry nodded, though his head began to spin dangerously. 'I'm fine,' he said. 'It's just a cut.'

Suddenly, another scream rang through the air, followed by several loud bangs and cracks. Remus pulled Harry further into the ditch, shielding themselves in amongst the bushes. Through wide eyes, Harry watched as Ginny was knocked off her feet, caught swiftly by Tonks who was just about managing to hold her own. Harry went to leap to his feet, but Lupin pulled him back down.

'She's fine, Tonks has her,' he said fiercely, holding onto Harry.

'I need to help her!' Harry cried, struggling against his hold.

'Hold on a second,' Remus told him sharply.

Startled by his tone, Harry followed Remus' eyeline. His eyes were locked with Dumbledore's who, looking entirely in the opposite direction, managed to knock out six Death Eaters at once. Dumbledore's gaze was enough to freeze Harry to the spot and he knew full well what that look meant.

Mere moments later, the loudest apparating crack Harry had ever heard burst through the air. He clamped his hands over his ears as a fountain of red sparks accompanied it, showering over the battlefield and cascading to the ground as tiny flecks of fire. Harry felt his heart catch in his chest as none other that Lord Voldemort appeared in the centre of the clearing, his black cloak floating around his ankles and his wand held firmly in front of his face. As the dust settled and Voldemort came firmly into existence, Dumbledore caught Harry's eye. He could almost feel Dumbledore's voice entering his mind.

'_Stay where you are – wait for the opportune moment_.'

Harry tried to steady his breathing.

This was it.


	30. Face off

**You'll be forgiven for being a bit confused by what's happening in this chapter. I confused myself when I wrote it, but I think it makes sense now...**

**If it doesn't, let me know lol!  
><strong>

**Anyway, hope you guys enjoy!**

**Chapter thirty**

_Face off_

Everybody froze. Even the Death Eaters, though those now sporting tails courtesy of the Weasley twins had some trouble staying upright.

Voldemort took an overcompensating breath, his eyes greedy and bright.

He turned on the spot, his robes trailing in the mud, until he found the face of the man he was looking for.

'Albus Dumbledore,' he hissed, leaning forward to give a bow. Dumbledore didn't move. From where Harry was laying, he could see the mans wand dangling pathetically by his side. Why wasn't he preparing to fight? He wanted to crawl forward to get a closer look, but a sharp glare and a firm hold on the back of his collar from Remus told him to stay put.

'Tom,' Dumbledore replied evenly.

'Let us cut the niceties Albus,' Voldemort said. 'You know what I want.'

Dumbledore stepped forwards. Harry didn't miss Voldemort's body stiffen slightly. His long fingers curled tighter around his wand.

'You are foolish Tom,' Dumbledore said quietly. 'You are out numbered - '

'That is of little consequence,' Voldemort snapped. 'Your minions can fight their little battle, but once I am finished with Harry Potter, I shall be in control. And I will kill off every last one of them.'

'You will not have Harry Potter!' A voice yelled out from the crowd.

Voldemort didn't even turn to see who had spoken. Instead he raised his hands and with a thunderous roar and a ferocious gust of wind, those in front of him were thrown backwards into the air. The Death Eaters took their opportunity, running forwards to form a line of defense. Wands out, they stared down the row of people who were now struggling to their feet. Harry watched with wide eyes; he followed the cloaked outline of Snape who'd taken this opportunity to slip away unnoticed into the trees. He disappeared in silence, followed quickly by Tonks.

'You will listen to me and listen well!' Voldemort shouted, marching forwards to meet his Death Eaters. 'If you want to live, you will give me Harry Potter. If you do not, then I will have my Death Eaters strike you down one by one until one of you has the common sense to confess.'

Harry felt his heart sink. They were trapped. The Death Eaters had everybody surrounded, even Dumbledore wouldn't be able to take them all on and survive.

And yet nobody had said a word. Nobody had turned and pointed to where he was hiding. They were all staying silent.

'Very well,' Voldemort hissed. 'Yet, I regret spilling magical blood.'

'You do not need to do this, Tom,' Dumbledore said.

'Out of my way, old man,' Voldemort spat. 'You cannot fool me with whatever trivial plans you have concocted.'

'You will not have Harry Potter,' Dumbledore continued as if he hadn't been interrupted. As if it were a pre planned cue, the row of Order members and Aurors suddenly unleashed dozens of curses and hexes, firing straight for the Death Eaters in front of them. Dumbledore stepped swiftly to the side and raised his wand; his eyes were the picture of a challenge. Voldemort hissed furiously and raised his hands, instantly pelting his former teacher with unforgiveables. Battle broke out once more. Chaos ensued as explosions rocked the ground beneath their feet, trees uprooted and curses tore through the air, aiming for anybody who wasn't quick enough to move out of the way.

'What do I do?' Harry asked frantically, turning to Remus.

'You wait,' Remus told him firmly.

Harry watched, horrified as Voldemort continued to throw curse after curse at Dumbledore with increasing force. Surprised at how nimble he was for his age, Harry was impressed at how quickly Dumbledore was able to block and shield himself, batting away the curses as if they were flies. Voldemort roared another curse and with a casual flick of his wand, Dumbledore stopped it before it had even moved an inch from his fingers.

Furious, Voldemort thrust his wand above his head.

'ENOUGH!' he screamed.

The wind around them began to pick up speed. It pulled and pushed everyone further backwards, dragging roots and trees and anything it could carry away from Voldemort. Harry and Remus ducked their heads into the ground, the dust and debris stinging their eyes. Harry could just make out through the trees Snape holding onto Tonks, pulling her into his side as he tried to secure his grip on a tree trunk. Dumbledore struggled forward against the wind, shielding his face with one arm. His feet slipped on the muddy ground, his robes catching on twigs and broken branch. With a shout and a ferocious whip of his wand, Dumbledore ceased the wind almost instantly. Before anybody noticed, Dumbledore was raising his wand again, a determined gleam in his eye. The pieces of broken branch floated off the ground, hanging menacingly in the air like deadly mobiles. With another flick of his wrist, the branches went soaring towards Voldemort and his Death Eaters. The hooded figures staggered backwards. Those quick enough dived to the ground or shielded themselves. Others were skewered almost instantly, the branches ripping through their broken bodies.

Slicing his wand through the air, Voldemort stopped Dumbledore's attack with a snarl. He marched forwards, teeth bared, slashing through the air with his fists. Harry turned his head, horrified to see witches and wizards falling to the forest floor. Their bodies crumpled to the ground as if they'd been smashed over the head with something solid, and they lay unmoving, their chests unnervingly still. With a gleam of panic, Dumbledore instantly erected a shield around the people gathered behind him. His arms shook with the force, and for the first time Harry noticed that Dumbledore was not the man he once was. He was old. He didn't have the energy to do this. Holding a protective shield over a large group of people was tiring for anyone...

And suddenly, Harry knew what was going to happen before he could do anything to stop it.

Voldemort raised his wand. In a fraction of a second, the deadly green glow was pulsing towards Dumbledore, tearing its way through the air towards the most powerful wizard in the world.

And he was just standing there, arms raised as if he were accepting his fate.

He turned his head, his eyes finding those of Snape who was well hidden within the trees. Harry watched, terrified, as time seemed to slow down. The two men were having some kind of silent interaction, their eyes focused on each other and nothing else. Snape glanced quickly at Harry, his face pained, before he looked back to Dumbledore and gave a quick nod.

Seemingly satisfied, Dumbledore turned back to Voldemort and in that moment, the green light of the killing curse struck him full force in the chest.

Harry's mouth fell open in a silent scream. He tried to get up, but Remus tugged him back down again, practically laying over him so he couldn't move. Screams erupted from the fighters within Dumbledore's shield, which slowly fell to pieces and broke. Acting off impulse, the Weasley sons, and Aurors nearby erected another, quickly protecting their army – or what was left of it.

For a moment, it seemed as though Voldemort could hardly believe his luck. His arm was still hovering in the air, his wand pointing to where Dumbledore had been stood. He threw his head back with a roar of laughter. The Death Eaters began cheering and jeering, until one voice drew them all back into silence.

'You shouldn't have done that, Tom.'

Voldemort whipped around, his face pulled back into a snarl as Harry moved out of the darkness.

'You are a coward, Harry,' Voldemort hissed. 'You wait until your precious Dumbledore has fallen until you come crawling out of the shadows.'

'I won't let you murder anybody else.'

The corner of Voldemort's lips twisted into a smile. 'Oh how noble,' he sneered. 'How do you propose to stop me?'

Harry took a firmer grip on his wand. 'I've stopped you before, I can do it again.'

'Luck!' Voldemort bellowed. 'My foolish mistakes have allowed you to get the better of me in the past. But not this time.'

He raised his wand so quickly, Harry hardly had any time to react. He threw his arms over his head as a deadly curse sliced past him. He looked quickly, frowning.

'You're not going to kill me, Riddle?'

Voldemort let out a soft chuckle. Harry's insides instantly filled with dread.

'I'm going to make you wish you'd died the first time around.'

* * *

><p>Remus watched horrified as Dumbledore's body crashed to the forest floor. Harry was already scrambling desperately to his feet. Remus reached over and took him firmly by the shoulders, keeping him close to the ground. Harry struggled furiously against him.<p>

'This is it Remus,' he whispered, his eyes wide and alive. 'I have to end it.'

Remus relaxed his hold slightly.

'You are sure?'

Harry nodded. 'I know it. I can end it now.'

The fabric of Harry's jumped slid through his fingers as the boy pulled himself to his knees.

'You have to finish the job,' Harry whispered, his eyes wide. 'I know it was supposed to be Snape...'

'The unbreakable vow,' Remus said with a nod.

'He'll die when I'm hit with the curse,' Harry said quietly. 'There's nothing to protect him, nothing to tether him to life. It's your job now.'

Then, he launched himself forward into Remus' arms. Remus held onto him tightly, wishing he didn't have to let him go.

'Thank you,' he heard Harry whisper, before he pulled back and was on his feet. Remus watched, with his heart in his mouth as Harry marched off out of the clearing towards Voldemort. His wand was in a vice grip at his side, his shoulders set.

Feeling sick to his stomach, Remus quickly cast a disallunment charm on himself. He spotted Snape and Tonks on the other side of the clearing and, sticking to the shadows, quickly made his way to them. He hastily erected several privacy spells as he approached them, his eyes on Harry the entire time. Once satisfied, he took Tonks gently by the hand.

'Remus?' she whispered.

'What plan does Potter have?' Snape murmured, keeping his head forward, his eyes on the scene in front.

'I don't know,' Remus said. 'He just said it was time.'

Snape nodded along. 'We have to wait until Voldemort casts the killing curse before we can finish him for good.'

Remus felt a rush of anxiety. The thought of Harry out there alone, without being to intervene or help was almost heartbreaking. And the guilt of Severus' impending death...how there was nothing that could be done.

'We need to move Albus' body,' Tonks said quietly.

'Not now,' Snape told her. 'The most important thing now is Potter.'

Remus let go of Tonks' hand and moved round beside Snape.

'What did Dumbledore say to you?' he asked. Snape stiffened slightly.

'I don't - '

'Don't play dumb Severus,' Remus said, trying to keep his voice passive. 'If it involves Harry, then I have a right to know.'

Snape raised an eyebrow but didn't turn. He was watching Voldemort with an intense gaze. Remus began to speak again but Snape held up a hand to cut him off.

'What?' Remus asked, irritated.

'The Dark Lord is planning something,' he said.

They all turned their heads as Harry called out to Voldemort.

_'You're not going to kill me, Riddle?'_

Realisation hit Remus so hard he almost toppled over.

'Voldemort knows,' he whispered.

Snape was nodding beside him. 'He is aware that if he possesses Potter and then casts Avada Kedavera -'

'Once we kill Voldemort, he'll be able to drag Harry into death with him,' Remus breathed. 'But then he knows a part of him lives within Harry? He knows Harry won't die when cursed?'

Snape took a moment to scowl at Remus. 'Of course he knows. He's had full access to the boys mind for weeks now. He was always going to know.'

'But then surely, he knows he'll die as well – once the piece within Harry is gone -'

'He believes he is stronger. He believes if he can drag Potters soul beyond the veil, then he'll be able to find a way back.'

Remus' eyes went wide.

'Using Harry's body?' he said hoarsely. 'He'd take him over completely.'

'More than that,' Snape said in an awed voice. 'Harry Potter would become the Dark Lord.'

Silence fell for the few moments it took for everybody to gather their thoughts.

'You knew,' Remus growled. 'You knew -

'I assure you, Lupin,' I have only just received the information.'

'Dumbledore?' Remus shifted his gaze to the body of the former headmaster sprawled within the leaves. 'Albus knew this?' Remus all but bellowed. 'Then how in gods name does he expect Harry to win! Voldemort would have been planning this all along. He's just waiting for one of us to storm in there and finish the job!'

'This is not the time to loose your head, Lupin,' Snape snapped.

'What do we do?' Tonks asked, cutting in before Remus could retort. 'If we go out there we not only risk Harry, but ourselves and everybody else.'

'We must make sure Voldemort doesn't possess Harry,' Remus said. 'It's our only hope.'

'One of us will have to kill Voldemort,' Tonks said, but Snape was already shaking his head.

'He will not die. The piece of soul residing in Potter must die first.'

Remus swallowed hard. 'One of us will have to kill Harry, to stop Voldemort possessing him.'

Snape turned his head.

'Yes,' he said quietly.

'Kill Harry?' Tonks echoed, shocked.

'You did not think to fill your girlfriend in before we left?' Snape sneered. 'If we use the killing curse, Potter will not die,' he provided. Tonks expression changed from shock to pure confusion.

'But you will,' Remus said softly.

'My life is of very little consequence,' Snape snapped. 'I accepted my fate many years ago.'

'But you were the one who was supposed to kill Voldemort,' Remus said. 'It was your job to finish it.'

'I did not know things would come to this,' Snape said. 'Albus was unaware of the unbreakable vow I made with Lily and even he couldn't have foreseen this. It is, it would seem, the way things were meant to be. The task falls to you now, Lupin.'


	31. The enemy within

**I re-read this today and actually cringed at the encounter between Harry and Remus at the end. It's horribly sickly! But oh well, hope you guys enjoy anyway! **

**Chapter thirty one**

_The enemy within_

_Voldemort raised his wand so quickly, Harry hardly had any time to react. He threw his arms over his he__ad as a deadly curse sliced past him. He looked quickly, frowning._

_'You're not going to kill me, Riddle?' _

_Voldemort let out a soft chuckle. Harry's insides instantly filled with dread. _

_'I'm going to make you wish you'd died the first time around.'_

* * *

><p>Harry's insides were lined with an ice cold dread. Voldemort's words echoed around the forest, flowing on the wind to all those surrounding. They both stood frozen to the spot, eyeing each other, both waiting for the other to make the first move.<p>

In one second, Harry had decided his plan of action; whether it would work was another matter entirely. Using all the strength he could muster, Harry pointed his wand towards the ground and yelled 'Incendio!' Voldemort staggered backwards as the ground at his feet erupted into flames. He hardly had time to react as two trees either side of him came crashing to the ground; the flames leapt onto the trunks, surrounding Voldemort in his own burning prison. He began slashing furiously with his wand; the Death Eaters attempted to help, casting any kind of water related spell they could think of. It wasn't until one of them finally turned around did they find out why their efforts were futile. The shield protecting those fighting on Dumbledore's side had fallen. Instead of using their wands to protect themselves, they were all pointing towards Voldemort, keeping the fire burning in unison.

Snape looked on from the shadows with wide eyes.

Whatever he'd been expecting, it had not been that.

'What is he doing?' Remus muttered beside him. 'He knows the killing curse has to be cast for Voldemort to die completely…why won't he stop?'

'He is caught up in his desire for revenge,' Snape replied. 'He will not stop.'  
>He turned to Lupin. 'You must go now. Kill Harry whilst Voldemort is unable to fight back.'<p>

Lupin faltered for a moment, but a quick shove from Snape sent him racing forwards into the fray.

'Cover him, Miss Tonks,' Snape directed, and he too headed out from the trees.

Harry stared at the burning mass in front of him. He could hear Voldemort's screams through the desperate roars of the Death Eaters. One of them, someone Harry didn't recognise, lifted his wand to fire towards him but a shriek tore through the air, stopping him in his tracks.

'HE IS MINE!' Voldemort screeched through the flames. 'I ALONE MUST KILL HIM.'

The Death Eater was lifted off his feet and thrown backwards viciously into a tree trunk. He collapsed in a heap at the feet of Lupin who had suddenly come racing through into the clearing. He was looking at Harry with an odd expression in his eyes; his wand was raised and he opened his mouth to say something –

Suddenly, the flaming tree trunks in front of him gave an almighty bang. There was a pulse of pure white light, before it cascaded upwards in a gigantic orange fireball. The force threw Harry backwards, burning his face and body. He fell with horrendous crack, which he could only imagine was a rib, or worse, snapping inside him. Silence filled the air, and then an intense ringing pounded through his entire body. Death Eaters standing too close now ceased to exist, their ashy remains carried along by the wind.

Harry tried to force his eyes open. He lifted an arm agonisingly towards his face, rubbing at the dirt and Death Eater residue covering him. His body shook and as he tried to pull himself to his feet he found his arms trembled under his weight.

Eventually, the noise began to return. Harry could hear the screams of his friends just across the clearing; there was a voice calling his name. Straining his eyes, Harry looked to where the voice was coming from. Remus and Snape were both staggering towards him, both blackened by the explosion but otherwise unharmed. Harry spared them a seconds glance and then looked towards the flaming trees where Voldemort had been imprisoned -

He'd gone.

The flames had trickled down to nothing. All that were left were the blackened carcasses of the tree trunks and Voldemort's black cloak lying across them. Harry's body stiffened. He recalled, vaguely, what happened at the ministry when Voldemort had possessed him. How his body had seemingly vanished in a cloud of dust –

And then how he'd been in such agony.

'…Harry?'

Harry snapped his head around to Remus. 'Voldemort's gone,' he said, his voice rising slightly. 'His body – it's gone, but he's here somewhere.'

The remaining Death Eaters were now being rounded up by the rest of the army. People were cheering, celebrating already. They weren't aware that things hadn't ended yet.

'He's going to possess me,' Harry muttered, wincing as his chest gave an almighty throb. 'I have to get out of here.'

And before Remus or Snape could make any comment, Harry had turned on his heels and begun running further into the forest.

'Harry!' Remus called as Snape looked around desperately for any sign of Voldemort. He knew that Harry wouldn't be able to simply run away from him. It was now or never; they had to cast the killing curse.

'Do it,' Snape said to Remus as they ran after him. 'You have to kill him now – you know what'll happen if the Dark Lord possesses him.'

Remus gave a sharp nod. 'Harry, stop!' he cried, 'Harry, you need to listen to me!'

Both men picked up speed, but Harry was running so fiercely that it was impossible to get a good aim at him. Snape grabbed Remus by the arm and shouted a stunning curse. It caught Harry by the ankle, toppling him over head first into the mud.

Crying out in pain, Harry tried to struggle back to his feet again and in the moonlight, Snape caught a glimpse of the fear in the boy's eyes; he looked terrified.

Remus aimed his wand again, the green glow began to emerge and he opened his mouth to enchant when suddenly –

A gust of wind forced the two men forwards onto their knees. The trees shook furiously; leaves tore through the air like knives; Remus and Snape both threw their hands over their faces as one of the trees began to uproot. Grabbing him by the shoulder, Snape just managed to pull Remus out of its path before it fell to the ground with a crash – and the wind suddenly disappeared, as quickly as it had come. Gingerly, both men got to their feet and looked around. Ahead, Harry lay in amongst the leaves. His body was still, but the scream that filled the air was unimaginable.

Harry slammed back into the ground as the wind tore around him. He tried to lift his head, but his adrenaline was slowly leaving him; his energy reserves were fading fast. He took in a deep breath and made to stand again.

But, before Harry could even get one foot steady, before he could comprehend what was happening, a blinding flash of pain erupted within him.

_No!_

_Not after all this!_

Voldemort had caught him. He was an idiot to think he could outrun Lord Voldemort.  
>He'd been so stupid.<p>

And he began to scream.

He could hear a cry nearby, one that mimicked his own pain.

Voldemort was burning through him, splitting his mind open. He could see every dark deed Voldemort had done, he could see every moment of torture he'd placed upon his victims, and he could _feel_ it. Their screams echoed around his head, mingled now with his own. Harry tried desperately to shake it from his head, to think of anything else. Instead, images of blood, torture, _murder_ flashed through his mind. Images of small defenseless children cowering in fear, being beaten and broken, men and women writhing on the floor, bleeding, _dying._ The faces of his parents, lifeless and still pushed their way through next, Cedric in the graveyard, Sirius falling through the veil; his own wand forcing Ron backwards through the air and his body, cold and pale upon a bed.

'_See this, Harry? _Voldemort's silky voice penetrated his thoughts._ You did all of this. Everything you touch turns to poison. You murdered your best friend... What makes you believe you deserve to live?'_

Hearing that made Harry realise -

Fighting off a small part of Voldemort's soul was difficult enough, but to fight him off whole as he attacked, ripping apart every shred of reality within Harry's mind, would just be too much. He felt the energy draining all too quickly. He could almost_ see_ it, as Voldemort thrashed around wildly within his head.

I can't do this. Not anymore.

'You can't give up Harry,' a voice said softly beside him. He managed to turn his head slightly to see Remus looking down at him. Snape was beside him, his own face contorted in pain that mirrored Harry's. 'This is it,' Remus was saying. 'You can do this. Think about what you are fighting for!'

'I don't want to fight anymore!' Harry cried his back arching with pain as Voldemort grabbed hold of this thought. He began to toy with it maliciously.

'_Don't fight, Harry. Let go. Let me in.'_

'You can't give up now,' Remus said quietly. 'Not after everything you've been through.'

Harry clenched his eyes shut again, trying anything to shake the tirade of images flashing through his mind. He clawed desperately at his forehead but Remus' hands held him back. The man tried soothing words but Harry shouted over him.

'It doesn't matter now,' he shouted between ragged breaths. 'Dumbledore said – it's over.'

'It's not over, Harry!' Remus bellowed.

'Please Remus!' Harry sobbed, his body flailing upon the ground, but his eyes were so intense they froze Remus to the spot. 'DO IT!'

'He'll take you with him, Harry!' Remus cried. His hands curled around Harry's face, clutching at him desperately.

'It's your only hope,' Harry rasped. 'He'll kill you if you don't. He'll kill everyone!'

Almost buried with grief, Remus didn't move. He couldn't. His wand was stuck at his side, he couldn't make his body obey.

'Remus,' Harry cried out again, curling in on himself with the pain, 'I accepted my fate many years ago.'

Snape looked up sharply. Pain radiated through him at an intense speed. He wondered how Potter could remain conscious, let alone able to carry out a conversation. His own words, echoed in Potters voice stunned him. Perhaps they had more in common than they'd realised all these years.

'Do it Lupin,' Snape rasped, just about holding onto his wits. The pain was enough to send anyone insane.

'I – I can't.'

'Please.' Harry's voice was so quiet now, Remus struggled to hear him. He looked up at Voldemort's seemingly lifeless body surrounded by the Order, the Death Eaters held back by the Aurors. What use was that when Voldemort's consciousness was tearing apart the boy in front of them? His old body was dead, but as he'd planned from the beginning, Tom Riddle could acquire a new one...

And Remus knew he couldn't let that happen.

With a stab of grief straight through his heart, he raised his wand to Harry's temple. Harry was nodding fiercely now, silently willing Remus to do it quickly. He wanted this over with.

'I'm so proud of you, you know that,' Remus said.

Harry was still nodding. 'I'm not scared,' he choked out, his voice clogged with tears.

Remus shook his head and weaved one hand through Harry's mess of hair. 'No,' he said soothingly. 'There's no need to be.' He swallowed the thick lump that had formed in his throat. It hurt to speak.

'Close your eyes, the pain will be over in a moment.'

Silent tears cascaded down his cheeks as he watched Harry's eyes clench shut. Remus looked quickly to Snape.

'Thank you, Severus,' he whispered.

Snape inclined his head, and then he too forced his eyes to close.

Remus drew in a shaky breath; it barely reached his lungs. His wand shook beside Harry's head. And he opened his mouth.

_'Avada Kedavra.'_

The forest fell silent.


	32. Emptiness

**Chapter thirty two**

_Emptiness_

Two figures lay unmoving in the fallen leaves. The third sat beside them, staring off towards the clearing where cheers of joy and celebration could just be heard. They carried on the breeze to where the bodies of Harry Potter and Severus Snape lay peacefully; almost as if they were sleeping. Remus stared at them, watching and waiting for any sign that they could still be breathing. He leant over and gently pulled back one of Harry's eyelids. The emerald green was still present, but they stared lifelessly up at Remus' face. Time had passed and there was still nothing there. Voldemort had won. He'd pulled Harry with him into death – there was just the sickening possibility that Voldemort could use Harry's body as a portal to revive himself.

Remus' stomach gave an uneasy clench. No. Harry was strong. Even in death, Harry wouldn't allow that to happen.

He had no idea how long he'd sat there, but heard people calling for him, calling for Harry, even calling for Snape.

'There's still time,' Remus muttered to himself. 'He could still come back.'

Out of nowhere a soft, painfully recognisable voice came from behind him.

'It's over, Remus. It's time to let him go.'

Remus spun around, wand drawn, ready to face whoever had snuck up on them. Surely the autumn leaves would have given away their presence?

He stopped short, certain he was loosing his mind. His heart stuck in his chest.

'Lily?' he whispered, unbelieving, his body numb with shock.

The pale form of Lily Potter seemed to float majestically in front of him. Her hair fell past her shoulders, just as it had all those years ago. She looked no different than the day she died.

She smiled sadly and stepped forward to meet him.

'Don't worry,' she laughed, 'you're not going mad.'

'What is this?' Remus asked anxiously. 'Why are you here?'

'I'm here for you,' she said, taking Remus' hand in her own. 'I came to help.'

Remus shook his head and ran his free hand across his eyes. When he opened them again, Lily was still there, grinning now.

'It's been a long day,' Remus said.

'Doesn't make me any less real,' Lily said.

'Real for me? Or really…_real_.'

Lily said nothing, but continued to grin at him. 'James sends his love,' she said. 'And Sirius too. They're so proud of you. _I'm_ so proud of you. I can't thank you enough for what you did for Harry.'

Remus swallowed the lump that had begun to swell in his throat. He gave a quick nod and turned back to look at the two bodies behind him. How small they seemed now.

'Dumbledore is dead,' Remus told her. When he turned back Lily was nodding.

'I know.'

'I don't understand it. Why would he let Voldemort get the better of him? It doesn't make any sense.'

Lily smiled again. 'There are many things about Albus Dumbledore that we shall never know. I believe there are far too many secrets buried there.'

'You mean he had a reason for it?'

Lily laughed. 'Of course he did. But we won't know what it was…'

Remus raised his eyebrow. 'Are all spirits as annoyingly mysterious as you?'

They both fell silent for a few moments. Lily moved around him to where her son lay and bent to kiss him on the forehead. She ran a hand over his hair.

'He's gotten so big,' she said. 'He looks exactly like James, doesn't he?'

Remus managed a small smile. He swiped quickly at his eyes. 'He's the spitting image,' he said quietly. The smile faded quickly. 'I don't know what to do,' he said suddenly. 'What do I do now?'

'Take him home,' Lily answered. 'Take him where he belongs.'  
>Remus shook his head furiously. 'There's still hope, there's still a chance he could come back.'<p>

'You need to let him go,' Lily said again. 'When he's home, you'll need to say goodbye.'

'What will happen to him? If Voldemort dragged him- '

'He'll come to no harm. He'll be at peace. I promise you.'

She ran her hand across Harry's head one last time and then got to her feet. She stopped beside Snape and a pained look fell across her face.

'He was a good man,' she said quietly. 'Make sure people know that. He should get the recognition he deserves.'

Remus nodded. 'I know.'

Nearby, a voice rang out through the trees. Remus turned, and in the distance could just make out the figure of Arthur Weasley coming towards them. His wand was lit as he attempted to tread his way carefully over roots and branches.

'You have to go now,' Lily said.

Remus faltered for a moment, before he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder.

'Take them home.' Lily said softly.

Taking a deep breath, Remus walked to Harry and carefully pulled him into his arms. He was so light; Remus had no trouble manoeuvring his wand to cast a levitation charm on Snape. With a whispered incantation, Snape's body lifted off the ground and began to float beside Remus.

With one last look at Lily, Remus started off through the forest.

It wasn't long before Arthur spotted him and begun running. His face drained of all colour as he saw Harry lying limp in Remus' arms and then, Snape's body beside him. He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. Remus screwed up his face in an attempt to keep some dignity, but a few rogue tears escaped.

'It's over,' he whispered. 'Voldemort is gone… Harry's…'

Arthur made to move forwards, but found his legs wouldn't obey him. 'Is he…?'

Remus gave a quick nod and pulled Harry closer into his chest. 'He's gone. It's over.'


	33. There's still hope

**Here we are then, chapter 33! Almost at the end now. Thank you for everyone who is reading and reviewing. I love that you guys are enjoying it! :)**

**Chapter thirty three**

_There's still hope_

It was over so quickly, he didn't even realise what had happened.

A pulse of green light shattered his entire world and then, nothing.

There'd been a struggle before hand, he remembered that.

And pain, there had been a tremendous amount of pain…

'_You're a coward.'_

Harry whipped his head around, expecting to see somebody standing behind him.

But he couldn't see _anything. _Just an odd darkness encasing him.

'_You chose death because it was the easy option.'_

Harry spun around again.

'Who's there!' he called.

A dark voice chuckled in the emptiness.

'_You forget me so quickly?'_

Harry felt dread flow like ice through his veins.

'You're dead,' he whispered. 'You should be dead!'

'_Oh I am, in the technical sense of the word.'_

Harry paused. 'I don't understand. Your body was destroyed. The part of your soul inside me was destroyed - '

'_And what about _my_ soul?' _the voice hissed.

Harry nearly threw his head back and roared with laughter. The idea of Lord Voldemort having a soul was insane.

Instead, he was filled with a burning rage, a desire to lash out and vent all of his frustration and agony on a voice that was mocking him in the dark.

'You don't have a soul,' Harry growled. 'All the things you did – all those people you _murdered._ To be as vicious, as cruel as that – you don't have a soul. All that's left within you is an empty gaping hole. You are nothing.'

The voice was silent for a few moments before it began to laugh. '_For one who gave up on life so easily, you speak with such ferocity…you'd almost think I'd killed you myself.'_

'I didn't give up,' Harry countered, his voice breaking slightly as he said it. 'I didn't want to die!'

'_But you did,_' Voldemort said. '_Weakness is a beautiful thing, Harry. I could feel you giving up, feel you losing hope…I won. I dragged you here with me. Admit it. You are weak; you have lost all your Gryffindor courage. _You_ are nothing, not I. _

Harry swallowed back the lump forcing in his throat. Voldemort was right. He'd given up…

But surely he had the right to give up? His life was his own, why should his thoughts and feelings be dictated by others? He'd struggled through so much; Voldemort was causing him so much pain…who wouldn't have given up?

'_Your parents wouldn't_,' Voldemort whispered. '_They fought until the bitter end. Your mother died for you, Harry_.'

'Stop it,' Harry shouted. 'You've got what you wanted! You won! What else do you want from me?'

There was silence for a few moments before Voldemort's voice rang out once more.

'_I want your soul, Harry….'_

Harry raised his eyebrows.

'…my soul?'

'_Imagine the possibilities! Think what we could do together, if you gave yourself to me, if we became one! You'd be alive again; you'd get to see your precious werewolf - _'

This time, Harry did throw back his head and laugh. 'You may have taken my body, my life, my friends and family, but there is no way in hell I will let you take my soul! You are right; I did give up too easily. I didn't fight hard enough to rid you from my life once and for all!'

'_And what is it you plan to do to stop me_?' Voldemort hissed. '_Your friends will move on, they will forget you, and you will be stuck here for eternity, bound only to watch, never to intervene!'_

Harry felt almost as though he'd been punched in the gut. He was drawn back several weeks to when he sat within Dumbledore's office, before Ron had died, before he'd been possessed, before he'd set foot on the Hogwarts Express. He remembered how he had wondered what it would feel like to be trapped within a frame, watching as a ghost in the shadows, unable to act or intervene.

This is what it felt like. He'd watch Ginny move on, fall in love with somebody else. He'd watch Remus and Tonks grow old together and have children of their own. And then he'd watch them all die. What kind of existence was that? His heart gave a painful throb in his chest. They'd all carry on living their lives….without him.

'_Sounds a little more appealing now, doesn't it_,' Voldemort said, a smile in his voice.

'I won't join you,' Harry said. 'And you know that. So what exactly is your plan?' Harry laughed bitterly. 'There is literally nothing else you can do to me!'

It was Voldemort's turn to laugh. It exploded through the darkness with such force Harry staggered backwards a few steps. It echoed through his head, deafening him.

'…_Harry Potter…the boy who lived…. I am going to destroy you_.'

The darkness Harry was cocooned in suddenly gave a tremendous jolt. He stumbled sideways, throwing his arms out to balance himself. With a whirl of colour the darkness began to swirl into a new scene. Images flashed in front of his eyes, blinding him but pulling him forwards to the point in time Voldemort wished him to be. There was a pulse of white light and then Harry found himself staring at the cold, pale body of Ron Weasley. Harry cried out, trying to turn away. As he did so, he stumbled across the lifeless forms of his parents and Sirius.

'You've already shown me this!' Harry cried. 'The past can't be changed, even if I did join you!'

He turned his back again and this time the body of Remus fell in front of him, blood trickling down his forehead, his wand discarded to the side. Harry felt himself cry out again. Next to him lay Ginny, beautiful even in death.

'_But the future can be!_' Voldemort called out. '_Is this what you want, Potter! Do you want your friends to perish?'_

Next fell Mr and Mrs Weasley. Their bodies crashed to the ground with such force Harry could hear bones crunch and splinter. Their eyes rolled around to stare directly at him.

'You can't make that happen!' Harry bellowed. 'You're stuck here with me!'

Voldemort cackled harshly. '_Do you really think I would be trapped here for the rest of eternity, Harry? Unlike you I am not weak. Unlike you, I have the courage to fight for my right to survive.'_

'Yeah and just how do you plan to do that?'

'_There are two options,_' Voldemort said. '_Either you join me and we go back together, as one. Or I take your soul by force. You are an exceptionally powerful wizard, Harry. And with me by your side we could do great things.'_

'You already know my answer,' Harry said.

'_Well then_,' Voldemort said. _'I am disappointed. Let us hope you have more fight in you than last time, Harry, an easy win is so very boring_.'

And then the world turned inside out.

It was as though he was back in the forest. The pain was agonising. His body felt as though it was being squashed in a vice; he could barely breathe.

'STOP IT!' Harry cried out.

'_Not until you give me what I want_!' Voldemort bellowed back.

Harry's entire body began to shake, convulsing in such massive movements Harry was sure his bones were going to break. He cried out again, trying anything to escape the pain but to no avail. Voldemort had him, and he was going to win!

'_Come on, Harry. There's still fight left in you, I can feel it_!'

The pain was suddenly ripped away, leaving Harry completely empty as a strange voice entered his dark world. He stumbled backwards letting his body get used to the feeling of having control over his limbs again. Whose voice was that? And more importantly, how was he hearing it?

Before he had time to comprehend these thoughts the pain was back again, tearing through him like an animal tearing through flesh. Harry fell to his knees, clutching his head. His scar was on fire; it felt as though it was melting through to his skull. Nausea rolled around in his stomach when suddenly –

'You weren't supposed to go like this. This wasn't how things were meant to be.'

Harry dragged in a gasp of air.

'Remus,' he choked out, spitting traces of blood from his mouth. 'It's Remus.'

'_He's saying goodbye, Harry_,' Voldemort snarled. '_Even he has given up on you!'_

'No he's not!' Harry choked, struggling to his feet once more. 'He's telling me not to give up!'

'_It's too late! You are already mine! Look at yourself!'_

Harry glanced down at his trembling hands with wide eyes. They were almost transparent, resembling the Tom Riddle horcrux in the Chamber of Secrets during his last moments of life.

'What's happening to me?'

Voldemort laughed viciously. '_Exactly what I said I would do. I am taking your soul. Then the pathway will be free for me to move back beyond the veil and be reborn!'_

'You don't have a body - ' Harry cut himself off before he could even finish the sentence. He already knew what Voldemort was planning. 'You're going to use my body,' he said disbelievingly. 'Use my body to carry on murdering people? Don't you think people would realise!'

'_By then it would be too late!'_

A burst of agony shot through Harry once more and he was thrown to the floor.

Fight for Remus, he told himself. Fight for Ginny. Fight for Hermione!

He clenched his eyes shut and focused all his energy on picturing their faces. He saw Remus coming to collect him from the Durselys, holding him back when Sirius had fallen through the veil. He saw his own body broken and bruised on a table whilst Remus fretted over him and called desperately for Snape through the fire.

Somewhere in the distance, he could feel the pain ebbing away slightly. Feeling crawled back into his fingers and toes.

He pictured Ginny on his birthday when they kissed for the first time. Pictured her as they walked through Hogwarts together, laughing by the lake and flying together in Quidditch.

'_Stop this_!' Voldemort screeched.

'I hope this hurts!' Harry cried out, now picturing meeting Hermione for the first time on the Hogwarts Express. 'Because I am not fighting for myself! I am fighting for my friends, my family. And that is something you don't have! And something you will never have!'

Harry let himself be overcome by the images of his friends. He let them swarm around him and encase him in a shield that protected him from the pain. Voldemort bellowed furiously in the background, trying desperately to get a hold on Harry again.

'_You will regret this_!' Voldemort cried. '_YOU WILL REGRET THIS!'_

With a throb of brilliant golden light, the black world disappeared. Harry felt the light pound through his body, ripping through every inch of him until suddenly –

He dragged in an enormous breath and shot upright in bed. The hospital wing spun in front of him, the silence was thunderous in his ears. But there were a pair of hands, holding him upright, keeping him safe and grounded in this reality. And without looking, he knew who was there.


	34. Grounded

**The penultimate chapter! Oh :( **  
><strong>Hope you guys enjoy! <strong>

**Chapter thirty four**

_Grounded_

Remus sat alone in the hospital wing. People had come and gone in the past hours, several with such horrible mournful expressions paining their faces that Remus couldn't even bare to look at them. His eyes stayed fixed on the body that was laying in the bed beside him. Hermione, Ginny and Mr and Mrs Weasley had sat with him for the first few hours. Nobody said anything. Occasionally Hermione would get up and move to the bed where Snape lay, and then over to where Dumbledore's body was, but she stayed silent the entire time.  
>In the grounds, noise of celebration crept through every now and then, only to be repressed by the sound of grief. No-one was quite sure how to react, with Dumbledore gone how was the wizarding world going to move forward? Where would they start?<p>

The Daily Profit hadn't even released a paper. Even the Minister of Magic had no idea what to do.

Poppy hovered in the corner of the room for a while, sniffing into a tissue, before she too disappeared into her office leaving Remus alone with his thoughts. The sun was beginning to rise, streaming through the slits in the curtains illuminating Harry's colourless face. Remus sighed heavily and ran his hand over Harry's hair.

'Your mother said I had to say goodbye,' Remus told him quietly. He laughed, giving his head a shake. 'You can't even hear what I'm saying. How am I supposed to say goodbye to you when you can't even acknowledge it.'

He sighed again and hung his head. Allowing his tears to finally roam free.

'Come on, Harry,' he said, grabbing one of the boys hands in his own. 'There's still fight left in you, I can feel it!'

The doors to the Hospital Wing opened slowly and Tonks appeared in the doorway. There was an impressive set of cuts on her face and she was still limping, but she was otherwise unharmed. She'd refused to let Poppy treat her, saying what were a few trivial cuts and bruises when people had died – her body was perfectly capable of healing by itself.

'Remus,' she said quietly, walking over beside him. She placed a hand on his shoulder. 'You need to sleep.'

'How can I say goodbye to him?' Remus whispered, looking up at her. 'This is Harry, he's survived so much -' He turned back to the bed again. 'You weren't supposed to go like this. This wasn't how things were meant to be.'

'Remus, please,' Tonks said. 'Harry's still going to be here, nobody is going to move him or touch him until you are ready. But you have to get some rest.'

Remus rubbed his hands over his face several times, but finally he got shakily to his feet. He took one last look at Harry and was about to step away when suddenly, Harry's body gave a jolt. Remus stopped in his tracks, pulling against Tonks' hand in his own.

'What is it?' she asked.

'He – he moved,' Remus said. 'His body – it moved.'

Tonks' eyes filled with tears. 'You've been sat with him a long time,' she said. 'It's only natural - '

But she never managed to finish her sentence. Her eyes grew wide as she too saw Harry's body give another jolt, larger this time. Remus raced back to his bedside almost tumbling over a chair and grabbed him by the shoulders.

'Harry?' he called.

Harry's entire body began to shake violently on the bed. Remus stepped back, completely bewildered.

'Get Poppy,' he said. It was the only thought that came into his mind. Tonks raced off to the Mediwitches office as Remus leant forward and took Harry by the shoulders again. Hope was building so strongly in his chest he felt as though his ribs would burst open. He gave Harry a hard shake.

'It's Remus, can you hear me?'

Harry's body was trembling so brutally, Remus was sure he was going to tip right off the bed. He struggled to hold Harry steady when suddenly the cabinets of potions and bottled goods began to vibrate, sliding across their shelves and smashing into messy puddles on the floor. Bed frames rumbled against their fittings, the lights exploded into nothing with small bangs. Remus threw his hands over his face just as Tonks and Madam Pomfrey came running out of the office. The magic in the air was static, bouncing round the room, cracking holes in the walls and ceiling.

'What's happening?' Tonks called over the electric hum vibrating around the room.

'I don't know!' Remus shouted, still struggling furiously to hang on to Harry's writhing body.  
>The noise in the room came to a brain numbing crescendo as all the windows in the infirmary imploded simultaneously. With an ear splitting crash, glass showered the entire room. On instinct, Remus conjured a shield charm around Harry and himself; Tonks mimicked for her and Poppy and then, without warning and with an enormous gulp of air, Harry burst upright. Stunned to his very core, Remus could do nothing more than exert a huge laugh of pure delight. Tonks and Poppy stood mesmerised, unable to comprehend what had just happened.<p>

'Easy,' Remus said soothingly as Harry tried to rip himself out of Remus' grip. He struggled frantically for a few moments. 'It's okay, Harry, it's me Remus. You're safe.'

Still gasping for breath, Harry turned his head to face Remus who smiled back at him. 'You're safe now. It's over.'

Harry battled inwardly for a few moments, his eyes wide and frantic, his hands twitching in his lap.

'Voldemort's gone,' he managed to croak. 'He's gone.'

Remus nodded. 'He's gone,' he repeated softly. 'You did it.'

Harry swallowed loudly. 'What about Snape?' he asked. 'Where is he?'

'He's right over here, Harry,' Tonks said, her voice wavering slightly. Her hands still shook in shock as she pointed to where Snape lay.

'Is he alive?' he demanded.

'I'm sorry - 'Tonks said.

Harry made to move off the bed but found that he didn't have a single drop of energy to lift himself. He cried out in frustration, running an agitated hand across his face.

'What is it?' Remus asked. 'What do you want us to do?'

'Check if he's alive,' Harry said, gesturing frantically. 'If I died, he died. But I'm not dead, am I.'

Remus regarded Harry for a few moments, wondering if he was the only one who detected the air of uncertainty in his voice.

'No, you're not dead.'

'I'm alive, aren't I, so he should be too!'

'Harry – Voldemort was tethering you to life, Severus had nothing to hold him here after you passed.'

'CAN YOU JUST CHECK?' Harry bellowed, trying frantically to push himself up. Remus made to move but Tonks was next to Snape in an instant. With a wave of her wand, she cast a diagnostic charm on the still figure.

'I don't believe it,' she said. 'I don't -' She bent forward and quickly thrust her fingers against the side of the mans neck. 'Oh my god, Remus, he's alive!' she cried, turning around to face them. 'His heart is beating, he's alive!'

Madam Pomfrey was next to move to the bed. She too cast the same diagnostic charm. 'I can't believe it,' she said, stunned. 'His vitals are completely normal – he should wake within a few hours…' She turned back to Harry and Remus. 'But he was dead. No spell, _nothing_, can bring people back from the dead.'

'I never died,' Harry said forcefully. 'So Snape didn't either.'

'What about Albus?' Madam Pomfrey asked, excitement getting the better of her.

Remus was shaking his head. 'He won't come back.'

'But how do you know?'

'Voldemort killed him in battle. There was nothing to keep Albus from passing beyond the veil. He's gone.'

'We need to tell people,' Tonks cut in suddenly. 'People need to know you're alive, Harry! You're the hero of the wizarding world!'

'No!' Harry cried out. 'No, just, not now. I can't -' he took a deep breath in. 'Not now. Please.'

'Okay, whenever you're ready,' Remus told him. 'You need to rest; your body must have been through a terrible ordeal. Are you in pain?' he asked as he noticed Harry gritting his teeth.

'I think I broke a rib in the forest,' Harry mumbled.

'Poppy, can you give him something?'

Madam Pomfrey nodded and quickly took over two bottles of a bright green liquid, she went to pass them to Harry but saw his hands were still shaking violently. She handed them to Remus instead.

'Take both,' she told him. 'I'll be right in my office. I have to work on a few things for Severus when he awakes.'

'I'm going to go and notify McGonagall,' Tonks said. 'Just her, Harry, I promise. But she has a right to know what's happened.'

Grudgingly, Harry nodded and watched angrily as Tonks disappeared out of the room and Madam Pomfrey closed the door to her office. He then turned to Remus and held out his hand for the bottles. Remus eyed his unsteady hand.

'Let me,' he said and with two quick spells the liquid had been deposited straight into his stomach.

Harry thanked him and laid back against the pillows wearily. 'I can't stop shaking,' he muttered, closing his eyes. 'My entire body feels like it's on fire.'

Remus took one of Harry's hands gently in his own. 'The potions will help,' he said. 'It won't be a quick recovery, Harry. Your body has been pushed beyond its limits.'

Harry nodded, but was already fading as Remus finished talking. He felt the sunlight dim against his eyelids and he suddenly snapped his eyes open again.

'Don't close them,' Harry said as Remus stopped pulling the shutters. 'I don't want to be in the dark.'

He dipped his head back into the pillows, feeling exhausted beyond his imagination. But however hard he tried, he could not bring himself to close his eyes again. He stared, eyes fixed on a point on the wall opposite, fighting desperately to keep the thoughts of the last few hours out of his mind. He felt Remus move onto the chair beside him.

'You remember what happened after the final task in the Tri Wizard Tournament?' Remus said quietly. 'Dumbledore asked you to repeat what had happened for him.'

Harry nodded slowly.

'Do you remember why he did that?'

Harry rolled his head around to look at him. 'He said that numbing the pain will make it worse when you finally feel it…'

Remus nodded encouragingly. Harry looked away again, back to the spot on the wall and wrestled with the courage to be able to speak about what had happened. Remus waited patiently until, eventually, with Dumbledore's words echoing in his head, Harry began to relay everything that had happened after Remus had cast the killing curse. He spoke quickly, rarely pausing for breath, but just like it had when he'd told Dumbledore about the graveyard in fourth year, it became easier. He felt lighter, as if a huge weight had been pulled off his chest. It was so much easier to share his horrors with someone rather than keep them bottled up inside.

'I don't know what happened to him,' Harry said once he'd finished his story. 'I guess as I survived, he was pushed back beyond the veil…'

'I imagine that's what happened,' Remus said. 'There's no spell that can re awaken the dead, Harry. You don't need to worry about that.'

Harry was silent again for a moment.

'Do you think he's gone for good?'

'Yes,' Remus said firmly. 'There's no possible way he can come back.'

Harry nodded, seemingly placated by his words. Feeling a lot more at ease, his eyes began to drift shut again.

'Try and sleep, Harry,' Remus said gently. 'I'll be right here when you wake.'


	35. Epilogue

****Well, this is it! The final chapter. Thank you so much to everybody who has read and reviewed this story! It means a lot to me to know there are people out there who like my writing!  
>I am writing a sequel but it may take me a month or so before I can start uploading it.<br>Hope you guys enjoy the last instalment! 

**Epilogue**

**3 months later**

The air was unnaturally still for a bitter November afternoon. Those students brave enough to stray into the grounds were wrapped tightly in their winter cloaks; many of them donned the house scarves in a bid to stay warm. The more sensible Hogwarts students had decided to spend the remaining hours of their Saturday in the Great Hall playing exploding snap, wizard's chess or just feasting on snacks from the trays which lined the house tables.

At the far end of the Gryffindor table sat Ginny Weasley and Hermione Granger, both locked in what appeared to be an intense conversation. Whispering heatedly to each other, they failed to notice when newly reinstated Professor Remus Lupin came up behind them.

'Hermione?'

'What?' she snapped irritably, whipping her head around to face whoever had interrupted.

Remus quirked an amused eyebrow.

'Oh! I'm sorry Professor,' Hermione said quickly. 'I didn't realise - '

'Don't worry, Hermione,' Remus laughed. 'I'm not going to take points.' He paused for a few moments, regarding the two young witches with concern. 'Is everything alright?' he asked.

'Fine,' Ginny said quickly just as Hermione said,

'Harry's having nightmares again.'

Ginny glared at her friend.

'What?' Hermione snapped. 'If anyone can help him, Professor Lupin can.'

'He doesn't want people to worry about him!' Ginny snapped back. 'He's getting better, Professor, he really doesn't want people fussing over him.'

'He can't go on like this forever,' Hermione said. 'He hasn't slept properly for weeks.'

Ginny gave an irritable sigh.

'You know he needs help,' Hermione told her gently. 'There's only so much we can do.'

'You're not thinking about sending him to St Mungos,' Ginny raged. 'That's the last thing he'd want!'

'Nobody is suggesting that, Ginny,' Remus said gently. 'I know you're both concerned about Harry, but this is also about what he wants. It takes a long time to recover from traumatic events. It's just going to be a while before he's back to his usual self, and arguing about it isn't going to make it any easier for him.'

Ginny and Hermione fell into an awkward silence, neither meeting the others eye.

'Where is he?' Remus asked. 'I haven't seen him since yesterday.'

'He went for a walk in the grounds to clear his head,' Ginny said.

Remus nodded. 'Harry will be back to his usual self,' he said. 'But all of us will need to work together to help him.'

He then grabbed his cloak from the teachers table and headed outside into the cold.

It didn't take him long to find Harry. Remus spotted him sat beside the lake, gazing off into the distance. He watched him for a few moments, wondering if Harry was going to make any attempt to go inside into the warm. After deducing that he'd probably been out here for a good part of an hour, Remus approached him quietly.

'How's the squid?' he asked, settling himself next to Harry.

'I think he's cold,' Harry said, smiling. 'He keeps spinning around in circles.'

Remus laughed, pulling his cloak tighter around himself.

'Aren't you cold?' he asked.

Harry shook his head. 'I cast a warming charm.'

'Good to know you've been paying attention in class.'

Harry laughed. 'I'm not just a pretty face you know,' he said with a smirk.

Remus nudged his shoulder playfully and the two friends fell into a comfortable silence for a few moments.

'The girls say you haven't been sleeping,' Remus said eventually.

Harry turned his head in the other direction.

'It's getting better, Remus, I swear. It's not like it was just after… It's better now.'

'I know,' Remus said quickly. 'I don't know anybody else who could get themselves back on track as quickly as you. It's remarkable.'

'Well, I've had a lot of help,' Harry said with a shrug. 'It would have been a hell of a lot harder without you and Hermione and Ginny.'

'We're still here to help, Harry,' Remus said. 'With anything. You know that, don't you?'

'I know.'

'Even if it's one in the morning, it won't bother me.'

Harry laughed. 'Okay.'

His laugh died off quickly and Harry returned his gaze to the squid who was now attempting to catch birds with slimy tentacles.

'Are you going to tell me what's wrong? Or am I going to have to drag it out of you?'

Harry gave a brief smile.

'Nothing's wrong –'

'Harry,' Remus cut in, 'give me some credit. You may be able to fool the girls, but I like to think I know you better.'

Harry rolled his head around to face Remus. 'You're so annoying sometimes,' Harry said with a smirk.

Remus said nothing, but waited patiently for Harry to speak again.

'I miss Ron,' Harry said quietly. 'I thought as the year went on, I'd get used to not having him here…it's just so strange.'

'I know,' Remus said gently. 'There's not a day that goes by when I don't think of Sirius, or your mum and dad.'

'I always think he's going to walk in late to class, or I'm going to see him in the common room arguing with Hermione over something stupid.' He sighed heavily. 'I know it takes time… it's just a lot harder than I thought it would be.'

'It will take some time to get used to. It's always hard to accept that their not coming back.' Remus said.

Harry let out a non committal sound and rested back on his hands. Remus regarded him curiously.

'There's something else worrying you. I can see it in your eyes.'

Harry shifted uncomfortably on the ground. The thing that had been bothering him most since he'd defeated Voldemort and the only thing he had nightmares about – telling Remus would be admitting that he still had these thoughts. That, really, he wasn't as recovered as he was letting on.

'Harry,' Remus said firmly. 'If you don't talk to somebody this thing, whatever it is, will begin to eat you alive. You can't bottle your emotions.'

It would appear he wasn't going to let this go without a fight.

Harry took a deep breath.

'Sometimes I dream…that he still has my soul. I dream that however hard I try, he doesn't let go. And in the end, I give up, just like I did back in the forest…' Harry struggled inwardly for a few moments.  
>'Remus, I can't help but feel like that's going to come back and haunt me one day.'<p>

'That's all in the past now. All those things that happened, they're not going to happen again. He's gone, once and for all, and there is no worry of him returning.'

Remus turned to look at him. 'And as for giving up,' he said, 'if any of us had gone through half of what you had this summer, we would have given up a long time ago. None of us can imagine what it felt like, but I'm sure any man would have felt helpless in that situation.'

Harry nodded but continued to gaze out across the lake.

'Giving up doesn't make you weak, Harry.'

Harry gave a snort. 'Now I know you made that up.'

'Really?' Remus asked. 'You think Dumbledore giving up his life for us was weak? Snape allowing himself to die for you; do you think that was weak?'

'No – '

'No. That's bravery. And having the courage to face death for the whole of the wizarding world? That's bravery at its upmost.'

Harry opened his mouth to reply but Remus cut him off quickly. 'Are you going to try to deny that?'

Harry shook his head. 'No. I was going to say I wish I could put things into perspective like you can.'

Remus smirked. 'It's my one and only talent.'

'Don't be stupid,' Harry laughed. 'You're also a half decent teacher.'

'Half decent?'

'Well, we haven't finished term yet. I'll give you a full evaluation then.'

Remus laughed loudly and pulled Harry into his chest, ruffling his hair viciously.

From high above on the astronomy tower, Severus Snape watched them curiously. He had not spoken directly to either of them since the events 3 months previous. After he'd woken and Madam Pomfrey deemed him healed enough to leave, Snape spent most of his time recovering in his quarters. What bothered him was how quickly Harry seemed to be able to jump back onto his feet and move around normally as if nothing had happened. It was only when he looked closer that he could see the nightmares plaguing the boys eyes and the terrors clearly still present within his mind. Snape could not blame him. After all, he was the only person who'd been through the same as Harry, who'd seen what he'd seen and felt the same pain Voldemort had put him through.  
>Snape wrapped his fingers around the dark mark on his arm. It was still there, still as prominent as ever. Though it no longer burned, Snape wondered whether or not it would ever fade from his skin.<p>

'You haven't told him.' A voice spoke from behind him.

'I have done as you asked,' Snape replied sourly. 'I've had no contact with the boy.'

'…I have your word?'

'It has been three months. I will not go back now.'

Snape turned his gaze back towards Harry and Remus on the edge of the lake. They were quiet now, both gazing up towards the window of the tower where he was stood. Snape gave a scowl for good measure and then swept away back towards the comfort of his quarters.

'What's up with him?' Harry asked.

Remus laughed. 'I don't think we'll ever know.'


End file.
